THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/17/2013

Kim Klement-US PRESSWIRE

THE CURIOUS INDEX IS IN THE DANGER ZONE

FOLLOW BRENT PEASE. But only if the Florida offensive coordinator uses this (or at least a screencap) as his avatar.

Florida hired Pease's buddy Jeff Choate as special teams coordinator for the Gators. Choate has coaching experience at UTEP, a valuable experience if you are looking for someone who knows how to run a football program off lizard hides and discarded remote control batteries. Wait: HE COULD DO THIS AT FLORIDA. Will Muschamp is preparing our program for the eventual post-electricity, post-peak oil wasteland, and that's why he's a pro.

UNGODLY AND WRONG. Never, ever rooting for Texas Tech in anything ever again. (P.S. Mack Brown recruited this as fondue.)

WELLLLLLP. You're not a real blog until you've had a friend of the blog indicted in a Ponzi scheme.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS "NONE OF THESE WEEKENDS." If you have to get married at any point this fall, you don't. Just don't get married during the football season, because no matter what weekend you pick you will be ruining someone's month, and perhaps their entire season. If you absolutely must do this there's a guide for what weekend to pick thanks to Kirk, but seriously don't do it because if you marry someone during the fall, there is a 100% divorce rate for those marriages according to this bag of sunflower seeds we consulted on the matter.

JONATHAN BUTLER, DO EVERYTHING. It is going to be a tremendously long season for that young man.

ETC: Good God that is 50 Cent on QVC. Mark Richt, just smoothin' it out. The 3 Daves 30 for 30 needs noting. TWERK IT, GASTON, TWERK IT HARD.

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