THIS MAKES NO SENSE EXCEPT WHEN IT DOES
We don't even really know what's going on here, but so much is right even in all the confusion. Dana Holgorsen is a bar wench, and that's works, while Rich Rod is cast as Javert, and that works as long as Javert gets to sing Josh Groban at one point. (He does.) Lane Kiffin's an urchin hitching a free ride, and gadzooks does that work on so many levels, while Urban Meyer's just manning a barricade and looking smug. Here, Nick Saban is a tiny orphan. This is not totally accurate, but it feels right, and we're not going to get in the way of what the heart wants. Roll 1848 Tide.