THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/22/2013

THE CURIOUS INDEX

YOU CAN'T BUY PUBLICITY LIKE THIS, FLORIDA ATLANTIC.

Well done, Geo Group. Notice that FAU doesn't even seem to be picking up much of the blame here, mostly because everyone knows FAU is tiny, took a $13 million subsidy from the university last year for athletics, and is probably going to have to forfeit that because a modern gulag profiteering conglomerate just isn't going to slide in anywhere and put its name on something without public outcry. Then again, that's exactly what Geo Group wanted here, because someone at the Geo Group is a.) a football fan and b.) not very bright.

THE RETURN OF THE COMBOVER. We're trying to track this down ourselves, but Hal Mumme is totally going somewhere in the BCS for a coordinator spot, and yes yes yes yes yes please let this happen.

PAT DYE WAS A TECHNOLOGICAL PIONEER. While others were warning about the dangers of pushing the limits of the average conversion van, Pat Dye boldly forged forward not just with plans for a football machine, but the ULTIMATE football machine. Captain's chairs! People thought they would cause a vehicle to explode, but Pat Dye did it and lived. The Chuck Yeager of van technology doesn't even want you to thank him, man.

HOLGO DEMANDS MORE POWER. Reaching into the Stanford pool for an offensive line coach means one thing: more smashy things along the line.

AND THEY SHOULD GET IT TOSSED. Everyone just sue the NCAA, hire more lawyers, hire a few more, bunker up, appeal, then appeal some more, and then wait to see who runs out of money for legal bills first. But they do such good work!

ETC: The Vikings had a sense of humor, if you didn't know. The finest mashup ever made, and this is not an exaggeration. That is an unfortunate way to get knocked out. "Get the heart get the heart FUCK THERE GOES THE HEART."

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