MAT DRILLS REMIND YOU: YOU ARE NOT AN ATHLETE

THE SEASON BRINGS ITS TIDINGS AND ALSO PUKE BUCKETS

Mat drills are a rite of spring for football players. We mean that in the most Stravinsky-ish of senses: there's a lot of dissonant noise, old men surveying the carnage, and young chosen ones dancing until they fall over from exhaustion. Watching this will remind you that the point at which you likely fell out of the bracket of [available athletic talent] came when someone told you to change directions, your brain acknowledged this, and your ass just continued to chug along on the same track while your feet went shiiiiiiiiiiit wait and probably just exploded.

P.S. Anyone who thinks as an adult "that could have been me, man" really should do ten minutes of change-of-direction drills, or maybe go through Donald Driver's old dancer/wideout routine to get a feel for how inaccurate this statement likely is.

P.P.S. We don't know what that human centipede pushup thing in the first 30 seconds of the video does either, besides "suck with the power of fifteen cocaine and lightning-powered vacuums."

(Via @jokastrength, who points out someone who looks like Redfoo doing drills at the :55 mark)

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