Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE
CARL PELINI PRISON WARDEN: WE MUST HAVE THIS NOW.
PELINI PRISON PLANET. FAU's new stadium will be named after The Geo Group, a Florida company run by an FAU alum specializing in the privatization of prisons around the world. The Geo Group has been accused of fudging its staffing numbers, neglecting basic safety measures, and running a profitable business under the guise of a formerly non-profit enterprise. So it's perfect for college football, particularly because it could lead to Carl Pelini as warden of the first space prison, where an unfairly jailed Bo Pelini will have to fight his way out and tell earth about his brother's misdeeds. (Via)
THE NCAA IS NOW IN LEAGUE OF NATIONS TERRITORY. Firing Mark Emmert would be kind of pointless, since the NCAA from its foundation up is based on a cheat at this point. Not that you shouldn't just fire him because it feels right,since we have a feeling that $1.6 million salary--OBLIGATORY MENTION OF EMMERT'S SALARY--could cushion a rough landing. Oh, and Miami's off the hook if there's any sense in the world. (And there isn't, so expect horrible things.)
HOT SEAT WEEK. It continues with the rare AD-on-the-hot-seat discussion. Okay, not rare if you're an Auburn fan, because Jay Jacobs wasn't even allowed to have much say in the hiring of Malzahn, and doesn't even run a particularly profitable department by SEC standards. The only SEC team with a zero percent subsidy? Those barons of good governance at LSU, whose 0% subsidy as stated in official records is the clearest indicator someone in the Louisiana government is funneling drug money through the school.
AMAZING BOURBON SECRETS. Though we're convinced that most people overpay for their bourbon and couldn't tell a $100 bottle from a $50 bottle, we are pretty sure that even the layperson could tell Spilly's monstrosity from Pappy. (But not from Old Crow, since this is pretty much how they make Old Crow.)
MMMMM STICK/DRAW. Smart Football on the vicious things one can do to a defense with a mobile QB and the Stick/Draw prepackaged concept.
ETC: The list of Presidential pets is all you need this am, including "Fightin' Bob Evans" the guinea pig.