THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/19/2013

THIS WORKS THE GAMECOCK ADDUCTORS

GET LUCKY. The answer is: no, no one knows what the hell Steve Spurrier is doing here besides being so sexy it can only be captured on Vine. A seventh second of this would have started sex riots in any city where it is viewed, and disrupted American life to the point of societal breakdown.

Sure, there's a GIF, too.

JEREMY FOLEY IS WONDERING IF THAT REQUIRES A PASSPORT. Because, you see, Florida never leaves the state, ever, and also because that's the joke. We're leaving the state in 2017 to play Michigan at the Jerrah Dome, and it will take that long for Florida to get over their agoraphobia in order to make the trip. The good news: it will be a homecoming for head coach Todd Graham, who undoubtedly has family in Arlington, and Florida will be making six million bucks for their effort.

LANE KIFFIN, FLORIDA OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR, EVER CLOSER TO REALITY. Blake Anderson, one of the offensive coordinators listed as a possible replacement for Brent Pease at Florida, will instead wisely take the head coach position at Arkansas State because there are only so many chances to get head coaching experience, and also because he does not have a death wish. Hi, Lane. Let's just all get comfortable with this weird threesome between you, Will, and the Florida fanbase. Don't look in our eyes. That'll make it weird.

FOR REFERENCE: Please remember that no one wants to leave a good-ass job for one where they will undoubtedly be fired.

BLAME GOD. Or, uh, he has a plan for Arkansas football or something, even though there is nothing to suggest that a loving god has had anything to do with Arkansas football for quite a while (or ever, really.) There is the usual scary shit which we totally believe people told Bielema after and during this season, though:

Q: Professional criticism is one thing. When it turns and flips onto personal level, as it did this season with (wife) Jen, how tough is that to handle?

A: "The only thing I was concerned about her was just her safety. I mean, some people, when they claim they're going to kill you and your dogs and, you know, hope you die in a car crash and make malicious comments, that's ... People are today a little off.

TRY THE CARNE ASADA. We appeared on Speak of the Devils to talk about Arizona State football, Todd Graham's skills that don't involve making people not like him, and found out that the carne asada and tacos are the way to go at Sun Devil tailgates.

THE NCAA IS DOING NCAA THINGS. Like claiming in court that they have no legal duty to protect athletes.

ETC: Well why wouldn't you put Popeye's on your list of the ten best meals EVERY year.

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