12-0. Northern Illinois finished the season 12-0 in the MAC, joining Ohio State as one of two teams to finish undefeated in the conference. Congratulations to both!
WINSTON STATUS: ACTIVE AND UNCHARGED. As the decision about his case will take another two weeks, putting the movements of any and all legal machinery out way past the ACC Championship Game.
LOL "MAGIC" Well, if even Bill C says it's an integral part of beating Bama, then it must be both real and necessary.
MICHIGAN MAN IS SALTY. This may seem a bit over the top at 7-4 on the year, but if you'd been dealing with the Pizza Lord's haphazard, extractive management of the Michigan Football resource for the past few years, you'd be pardoning the sale of home tickets to Ohio State fans, too. P.S. Al Borges says your words do not hurt him.
ANDRE WILLIAMS IS MOVING AND YOU SHOULD NOT TRY TO STOP HIM. We were going to try to type out the phonetics for the Invincibility Star song, but it ended up looking like the word "doodoo" typed over and over again, and the last thing we want to do is give Boston College's juggernaut of a running back a reason to smash through our house like a derailed freight train. (Not that he needs a reason, or could be stopped.)
ETC: That thing where the initial joke is not funny, but the excessiveness of the follow-through validates said premise. Running an eight minute mile is no big deal buddy HOLY CRAP YOU DID IT WITH A LOADED BACKPACK YOU FOOL. This really could not be made up, and would be considered insane if not totally true.