THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/19/13

Spruce Derden-US PRESSWIRE

I HAVE NO COMMENT ON DAN'S ACID SALIVA, SAYS CONFUSED MSU SPOKESDAWG

DAN MULLEN WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING. When you're a competitor you're a competitor all the time, Dan Mullen.

The disturbing form on the follow through is the thing, like he's one of those bat-creatures from Beastmaster, and simply liquifies his prey in this mouth before spitting out the bones. Then again, that much time in Starkville will teach you to eat the whole bird, right down to the gizzards. Competitors never sleep, but neither do country-style savings. (Mississippi State: it's the program that happily eats parts-meats.)

THE COMMITTEE HAS SPOKEN. Though at this point we pretty much have the same teams everyone else has, and that's sort of depressing if you think they won't change, and promising if you anticipate disaster in the final three weeks of college football.

P.S. We only have three weeks or so left. But then, um...winter? SHIT.

THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO NOT GO BROKE. If a car dealership promises things based on impossible things happening, well, that's a splendid method of promotion nonetheless. (If it happens, it is because we have found the one person Nick Saban hates most in the world, and it would be the man who owns this car dealership.)

JAMES FRANKLIN BACK? James Franklin back, since Mizzou has that weird luxury of having two quarterbacks, or what Florida fans would call "a myth, and nothing more."

STILL IMPORTANT: Our "anonymous scout" had some deeply unkind things to say about Rob Ford's prospects as an NFL prospect.

IT NEEDED REGAETTON HORN. And some Mario noises, but yes, all of this was necessary, BBS.

ETC: Someone made Leonardo Da Vinci's piano/cello/harpsichord thing, and it will be in a Kanye video in under a year.

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