NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER. Only a handful of people in the world know the true identity of "Harris," the man entrusted with generating a poll that is one-third of the BCS formula. Is Harris a former Mensa president? A brilliant but socially troubled scientist? Multi-platinum award winning artist Ja Rule? For now, the mystery remains unsolved, but we will expose you, Harris, and demand to know why you are hating on Northern Illinois.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. (puts on Clemson hat, which smells like shrimp) Clemson's undefeated, the number three or four team in the nation depending on which dumbass poll you ask, and playing at home - and Florida State's FAVORED by a field goal? THEY AIN'T RESPECT US AND WE GONNA SHOW 'EM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY AIN'T RESPECT US AND THAT'S A WHOOPIN.
(puts on FSU hat, which is shoplifted) Florida State's undefeated, already beat two conference opponents on the road, and is facing a Clemson team that nearly lost to NC State and Boston College - and Clemson's ONLY a three point dog? THEY AIN'T RESPECT US AND WE GONNA SHOW 'EM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY AIN'T RESPECT US AND THAT'S LOCKER ROOM VANDALISM.
GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE. Ole Miss linebacker Serderius Bryant seems to have only suffered a concussion, and we don't say that to suggest concussions aren't a serious injury but, rather, to note that they're in the category of best-case scenario when someone goes down and doesn't move and they immediately run out the stretcher.
EVEN MORE GOOD NEWS. Todd Gurley and Tray Matthews may be back for Georgia's trip to Vanderbilt, which means that finally we can run the dang ball, Bobo. (Even when Georgia fails on defense, it is because Bobo refused to run the dang ball.)
DON'T MAKE ME LOVE YOU, TULANE. Tulane is one win away from bowl eligibility after knocking off East Carolina in overtime, and for their efforts the players are getting a whole week off per Curtis Johnson's promise. Tulane's next four opponents are a combined 7-19, which means "8 win Tulane" could be a real thing, and, as we all know, that's part of the Bolero Prophecy, in which Tommy Bowden rises from his hammock and rules the Earth for 400 years.
ETC. Knew we never should have let Pittsburgh take care of the Moon.