THE NCAA:

That's all. Just, the NCAA setting itself on fire, over and over again. And now that we've called them a parasitic brain fluke, let's just never, ever discuss them ever again.

"WE'RE GONNA GET FIRED." In more football-positive news, Bruce Feldman's piece on the creation of the Pistol Offense is fantastic, particularly the part where Ault's staff is sitting around wondering whether they're all going to lose their jobs because their boss has gone insane.

THAT IS IMPRESSIVE. Just weirder and weirder, further down the Kekua rabbit hole.

DR. LOU, INEPT POLITICAL CONSULTANT. If you were wondering who gives Dr. Lou his pep talks, it's John Boehner.

DREAM TEAM. The university that does not exist hiring Jim Bollman AND John Shoop to be on staff is appropriate, since those two coaches also do not exist.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS: Ivan Maisel compares Manti Te'o to Mr. Deeds because...innocence or something.

ETC: Don't ever read Bill Walsh's book on football because it will ruin your life.