THIS DAN IS ON FIYAAAAAHHHHHH. It all seems so complex until Dan lays it out on the whiteboard of truth.
And that anagram for Nick Saban may seem inaccurate, but we assure you that it works out if you know your math well enough. Ooh, look, a grossly inconsistent but insanely detailed manuscript! Something something Pete Thamelis out to destroy Mantucky Teosketball.
AS LONG AS HIS NAME IS NOT TED ROOF WE SHALL BE FINE. Will Muschamp promoted linebackers coach D.J. Durkin to the position of defensive coordinator following the departure of Dan Quinn for Seattle, a well-deserved promotion for a coach who ground his way up the ladder and is well-liked by players and staff alike. Also, Will Muschamp still runs the defense no matter what his title may say, so we remain not overly concerned by the transition.
NO THANKS. Oregon's longtime defensive coordinator Nick Alliotti politely declined an invitation to become USC's new DC, perhaps because the thought of being Lane Kiffin's new dad seemed more disturbing than you could possibly imagine.
ROLL TIDE. Taking the cellphone during recruiting season? Oh, that's a veteran move, Alabama agent.
HEAD TRAUMA AND BEING REALLY NONCHALANT ABOUT IT IS THE LATEST AND COOLEST THING. Patrick Hruby's piece on the NCAA and head trauma in football confirms your shocking suspicions that the schools are going to have to figure it out for themselves, because the NCAA is just concerned with insuring itself and avoiding liability.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE, NOTRE DAME. Well, you're sort of alone in the football-specific charges, but feel a bit less alone anyway.