THIS IS JUST A PICTURE OF A FIAT 500

LOOK AT IT. IT TELLS NO LIES

Oh, Vols-themed Fiat 500. You tell no lies. You make up no stories, and offer only mysteries. Was this owned by Derek Dooley? (Certainly, let's just assume so without checking.) Did he drive it to work until the end, with Bubbas shaking their heads along the way as they disdained its miniscule frame, its espresso machine styling, and the bumper rolling into the distance without a trace of a trailer hitch to be seen on it? Did he do this while wearing orange pants, orange pants he would spill an entire espresso onto while screaming nasal profanities to an indifferent silence?

Did he, pulling into his parking space, have a brief cry, and then pick himself up while dabbing his ruined slacks with Shout Wipes?

We hope he did, because Derek Dooley deserved a cry after this season, and also because nothing makes you feel like a dirtier, more hopeless human being than spilling coffee on yourself even when you know damn well you're going to do it and take every goddamn precaution in the world against it. God, it makes you want to peel the flesh off your skull, because why do you try anything? WHY DID YOU BUY SUCH A TINY CAR, AND YET SUCH A HUGE FUCKING CUP OF SCALDING LIQUID POSSESSED BY A DESIRE TO RUIN LIGHT COLORED FABRICS?

Where was this going? Oh yeah, that's a picture of a Fiat 500. Before we got unusually angry over this random Derek Dooley we just made up: it tells no lies, spills no coffee where it shouldn't, and makes up no fake girlfriends. You're pretty great like that, random SEC paint job Fiat. Keep doing what you do.

(HT: Justin)

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker