Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
BARRY ALVAREZ'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS TO BE BETTER TO BARRY, BARRY
Barry's likin' what he sees here. Barry's got schedules. Barry's got the coffeemaker goin'. Maybe a little scotch in there. The good stuff. Not your Macallan 12, but enough class to keep your sweater unwrinkled and enough fire to make the hair on your ears stand up a bit. You don't have hair on your ears? Well, that's not Barry's fault, son. Blame the Lord for cursing you with youth.
Barry's watching five bowl games today. Might even coach in one of 'em if the spirit moves him. Someone's playing in the Orange Bowl tonight, he hears. Well, someone has to, I guess. If you need him he'll be in Pasadena, where they invented McDonald's and the only bowl game that ever mattered to anyone who didn't have hookworm and a tobacco-stained Alabama sweatshirt as their baptismal robe. You see LSU lost to Clemson last night? Barry did. Oh, Barry laughed. How Barry laughed. Might have been a few pieces of steak in his mouth at the time. Nothing wrong with multitasking.
This is your open thread for the first shift. Barry's pretty happy with a lot of things right now, but five football games on New Year's and power run sets for miles? Oh, that ear hair's not the only thing standing up for Barry right now.