SECOND SHIFT: MOM WAKE UP MOM MOOOOOOOM

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MOM I HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT OK SO I WAS AT SCHOOL AND I HAD TO GIVE A PRESENTATION ON IGNEOUS ROCKS BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY HANDS SO I KEPT TRYING TO PICK UP THE ROCKS WITH MY STUBS BUT THEY KEPT DROPPING AND THEN ALL THE KIDS WOULD LAUGH AT ME AND MS. FITZSIMMONS WOULDN'T TELL THEM TO STOP!

SO I RAN OUTSIDE BUT IT WASN'T OUTSIDE IT WAS SPACE AND I HAD TO FIGHT A SPACE DINOSAUR HE WAS LIKE A BAJILLION FEET LONG MOM MOM ARE YOU LISTENING MOM I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY DREAM! THE SPACE DINOSAUR ROARED BUT I SHOT HIM IN THE FACE AND HE ASPLODED IT WAS SO COOL. MY SPACESHIP TURNED INTO A MONSTER TRUCK AND I RODE IT AROUND TOWN AND EVERYONE CHEERED AND SAID I HAD SAVED THE WHOLE WORLD EVEN MARYLAND

BUT THEN IN THE FIRST HALF WE LET PITT AVERAGE OVER SEVEN YARDS A PLAY AND DIDN'T SACK TINO SUNSERI ONCE. ISN'T THAT A CRAZY DREAM MOM MOM CAN I HAVE SOME GUSHERS FOR BREAKFAST PLEASE MOM PLEASE

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