FanPost

Ole Miss vs Texas: The *real* battle begins in The Grove




From an Alabama fan/friend

On a significantly more interesting topic: Up in Oxford, Mississippi a titanic struggle will ensue. The preliminary skirmish will take place in the Square mid evening Friday night leading to the much anticipated main event in the Grove on Saturday. The legendary University of Texas coeds will go open toe to open toe with the peerless Sorority Sisters of Ole Miss. The early line favors the Rebs due to a healthy home wardrobe advantage but the Texans have been rumored to have whispered to "Daddy" that "a plane full of dresses and shoes would make Mandy a happy little girl." Favoring the Black Bearlettes, it will have to be a small plane. This is Oxford.

As the combatants arise (around noon since beauty rest is critical), chatter will be constant from the KDs to the Tri Delts. Even the Chi O’s and the Phi Mu’s bond as sisters to defend their home turf against the invaders from Austin. In a shocking show of solidarity, a Tri Delt lent her earrings to a rival Kappa. The Longhorn Ladies would clearly need to bring their A game. With a palpable sense of anticipation the Grove was prepared for the showdown. Shrimp, oysters, prime rib, barbecue, and caviar (of course) were carefully arranged on the requisite white tablecloths. Always aware, the Sorority Moms instinctively understood the importance of presentation on this day. An outdoor record for candelabras was set and the city of Oxford completely sold out of Grey Poupon. The proud fathers had their "man" bring in extra Gray Goose, Knob Creek, and Jack Black. They knew they were to witness something truly special and they had a front row seat. Around 3:15 it begins. The Texan lasses, not accustomed to being challenged, tentatively send out a few impressive raven haired sentries to draw out Reb ladies (and see what they are wearing). The Rebs countered with several brunettes of their own and drew first blood with a pair of gorgeous redheads. It was here that the Horns made their critical mistake. They rushed in the Dallas Daddys oil money beauties into the teeth (theirs are white and plentiful) of the battle. As they confidently strutted down the Walk of Champions, time stood still and even the veteran Black Bear frat boys forgot their Jack and Cokes. Their fathers silently thanked their Maker that they were here this day. It appeared the visitors would pull off the upset but they had peaked too soon. The Rebelettes had set a trap. Suddenly a distant murmuring (and more than a few whistles) echoed through the Grove. The Lady Texans froze in their designer shoes and clutched their Coach purses. Coming directly toward them was a veritable army of exquisite Blonde beauties, each more perfect than the last. It was almost as if the entire town of Tupelo had unleashed their secret weapon on the unsuspecting Lone Star ladies. It was clearly over and the Texans graciously conceded their Dixie counterparts had won this day. Soon they were sharing white wine and asking if they could meet Chad and some of the Sigma Nu’s.

Of course it was easier to be cordial knowing what they knew. In 2013, the rematch is in Austin. It will be one for the Ages.

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