THE CURIOUS INDEX, 8/7/2012

HIGH ELBOWS, SON. It's not football-football, but the slap of pads, coaching chatter, and passes zipping into waiting hands should just be enough gridiron potpourri for a quick morning fix.

Bill C. previews Oklahoma State and reminds you what happened the last time expectations were this low for OK State, i.e. they did pretty well, and thus confirmed your bias that whatever you think is going to happen in 2012 will not happen to your team. Except for you, Ole Miss. You will be as horrible as you imagine.

ADIDAS SHOULD STOP MAKING UNIFORMS. Wisconsin's new uniforms are not helping the argument that Adidas' uniforms are being made by a drug-addled Belorussian graphic designer being paid ten dollars per design.

THESE MAKE NO SENSE AND LET'S JUST GIVE THEM MORE POWER, YES? The NCAA continues to specialize in making great, sensible rules.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHHA. Ha. Haaaaaa. Ha.

JUST GRAB A SPARE FROM PENN STATE. Oklahoma loses starting guard Tyler Evans to a leg injury, continuing the preseason stream of Sooner injuries, and giving you a second ominous reminder: the team you love has parts, and sometimes those parts fall off, snap, or fail for no reason whatsoever.

SEE IT LOOKS SO SIMPLE. Pass coverage concepts explained from The Key Play. What we love most about pass coverage diagrams? Like offensive diagrams, the outcome in theory is perfect every time.

UNCLE LUKE MAKES AN APPEARANCE. Luke appears on the Solid Verbal to talk Ohio State, and discusses how weird it is that an Ohio State fan has to want a relevant, live Michigan in order for the universe to be whole.

THERE ARE SIMILARITIES. USC 2012 and UGA 2008: not necessarily the same team, but let's go ahead and assume they're the same team. [waits for west coast to wake up and explode]

PINK HOUSES ON THREE READY BREAK! Hud Mellencamp, son of John Mellencamp, walked on to the Duke football team. He did it Americanishly, probably while humming a song about farmers or that time with the girl in the cornfield HEY-AYYY-AYYYY-AYYY [kick] [guitar flourish].

ETC: Just one thing, but one reaaaaaaaallllllly good thing.

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