With Apologies to the Commetariat an Lou Bega

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is EDSBS number five.

One, two, three, four, five, college football's coming up so we're gonna ride...
To the liquor store around the corner.
The boys say they want some gin and juice but I really want Kraken
MACtion like I had last week.
I must stay WAC because they're throwin' deep.
I like Bama, Nevada, and State U of Iowa.
And as I continue, you know they're getting ranked higher.
So what can I do? I really beg you my Lord.
To me college footbaw is the only sport.
Anything on, it's all good let me watch it.
As long as UNC's not in it.

A little bit of Jawja in my life,
A little bit of SC East by my side.
A little bit of Boise's what I need,
A little bit of Iowa's what I see.
A little bit of Wazoo in the sun,
A little bit of Oregon all night long.
A little bit of Florida going ham,
A little bit of Clemson makes rankings go bad!
FSU's number five.

OVERRANKED WHA!
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/lou_bega/mambo_number_5.html ]
Jump up and down and bitch all around.

ND Nation's up in flames, TexAgs has been burnt to the ground

Take one step left and one step right.

Kick the TV screen in and throw it off to the side

Clap your hands once and watch Baylor skanks fight

And if the Big Ten's in, then you're doing it right.

Chorus

A little bit of Rose Bowl in my life,
A little bit of Sugar Bowl on the side.
A little bit of Orange Bowls' what I need,
A little bit of Belk Bowl's what I see.
A little bit of Akron in the sun,
A little bit of Ragin Cajuns' all night long.
A little bit of Auburn here I am,
A little bit of BOOMERSOONER makes me mad!

WHOA, PIG SOOIEE

PAAAAAAWWWWWWLLLLLL

Craig James' NUMBA FIVE

A little bit of Kiffykins in my life,
A little bit of Dooley's by my side.
A little bit of Les Miles' what I need,
A little bit of Charlie Weis is all I see.
A little bit of Dabo in the sun,
A little bit of Spurrier all night long.
A little bit of Pizza Hoke here I am,
A little bit of FOOTBAW BAWB makes me go mad!
Outro

I do all to watch all of you.
Cause you can't run just like BYU.
You and me gonna torch the sky.
OH SHIT! Memphus' number five.