THE CURIOUS INDEX, 7/9/2012

THE ELUSIVE ONE POINT SAFETY. You may actually remember this if you were a fan of skipping interpersonal contact on Thanksgiving and watching the Texas/TAMU game. (RIP, at least until you resurface in a few years twice as bitter as before and with interconference taunting rights on the line.)

The rule as explained by the wikipedia entry citing this very game as one of the few times this has ever been called.

College football rules allow either team to score a one-point safety after a touchdown. Say that Team B blocks Team A's extra-point attempt, and a player on Team B picks up the ball on the 1-yard line. Looking for an opening, the player with the ball runs backwards voluntarily into his end zone, where he is tackled. Team A receives one point for the conversion safety, and the score is now 7–0.

Tommy Tuberville says that with ten of these, a couple of field goals, and a safety or eight, he can get the Red Raiders into good position to lose by a mere twenty points against Oklahoma State. (via reddit/CFB, who also brings you this informative flyer.)

YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING 7-ON-7 AT 10:25 P.M. IN JULY. Desperate it definitely is, but we do have Bud on the ground in Oregon for The Opening, and he's cranking out reports on every single last recruit involved in the nation's foremost display of high school recruits playing a game of glorified pass skeleton. Dan Hawkins is coaching one of the teams, and is taking it way more seriously than anyone else out there.

HELLO SPARTY. Bill C. is wayyyyyy bullish on Michigan State's defense.

BALL OUT, ROBERT NKEMDICHE. Recruits at The Opening give a mixed review of blue-chip Clemson "commit" Robert Nkemdiche's bargaining tactics. We're all in favor of it (along with Andy) in theory, though if we were a coach we'd drop him the second it started because real gamechangerbackends capable of winning titles and saving jobs just ask for straight cash, homey.

THE SUNBEAST WAS FAR MORE BEASTLY THAN IMAGINED. Karl Benson's plans for the Sun Belt were actually more insane than satire suggested.

The same presentation included several maps of potential conference mergers – one of which was titled "Makes Too Much Sense" and proposed a 33-school superconference combining the Sun Belt, C-USA, WAC and Mountain West Conference.

This, according to Karl Benson, "made too much sense." Karl Benson wants to party, and will literally take anything you put in his hand.

CHARLIE, STRONG. His name is a statement of strength. His very visage can scare a city council room empty with its terrifying masculinity. (Every day is Charlie Strong Appreciation Day.)

WE LOSE A STELLAR NAME, AND GAIN A SLIGHT DENT IN THE "URBAN MEYER THINKS THIS PUNISHMENT IS HARSH" MEME. Points to be awarded in a separate Fulmer Cup post, but Ohio State linebacker Storm Klein was dismissed from the Buckeye football team after his arrest for domestic violence charges this weekend.

FREEH REPORT NOT DUE AT ANY DEFINITE POINT. It is being written up, though, and that means more confirmation of what you already knew about Penn State's management and their role in being complicit in keeping a convicted pedophile on the street and in their locker room. Don't ever sell your soul for a job unless it is Chris Fowler's job. (In that case you should totally do it.)

IN CRITICAL CONDITION. Blair Holliday, Duke WR, is still in critical condition after a boating accident. Thoughts, prayers, etc in his and his family's general direction.

MONTEL HARRIS, REPORTING FOR DUTY TO DIVEMASTER ADDAZIO. This might actually work.

GERRY DINARDO, NEWSROOM AFFICIONADO AND TWITTER CONVERSANT. Landgrant Holy Land had a brief but enlightening conversation with the former LSU/Vandy coach.

ETC: "I'm here to fuck you up." "Well, here I am." Anderson Silva has something to clear up that chest cold of yours. Motherfuckas act like they forgot about Brak. Someone did forget about Dre. Every day is upper body day. ZANGIEF IS EVERYWHERE. Sharks: they're just dicks in RL and online. This is how many rubber bands it takes to destroy a watermelon. Roger Federer won at Wimbledon, and it looked just like it did in 2006.

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