We don't care about baseball. However, we know some of you in the EDSBS community and beyond do, and we know that this time of year for you is a time of great pain and anguish. We hate to see people in pain, even if they're the same people who willingly submit themselves to America's most tedious pastoralist jackoff fantasy/accounting exercise.
So for those of you who face the dismal prospect of listening to Chris Berman woof, woop, and whabargle his way through the Home Run Derby tonight, we have the solution courtesy of Bobby Big Wheel.
1. Mute ESPN.
2. Press play on the SEVEN HOURS of Hall and Oates we have cued up below.
3. Enjoy the cooperative golf of the Home Run Derby. From time to time, look down and thank Daryl and John for the pleasant wasted summer evening you're about to enjoy. Never say we didn't do anything for you, wretched slaves of the Spice Lord Selig and his armor of wrinkled ten dollar blazers.