ARIZONA STATE CONSULTS WITH CAPTAIN EO

Another gameday change: Arizona State fans may no longer "crowdsource their own fireworks displays." (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Todd Graham is overhauling the gameday experience at Arizona State, and shit there he goes CATCH HIM--

--and he's back. He was just going to the bathroom, guys. No worries. NO WORRIES. In an effort to revitalize the Sun Devil experience, Graham and the administration will implement some of Graham's ideas, some ideas from administrators, and finally some offered up by the Disney Institute. These ideas do not include some trademark Disney classics

  • a thousand strollers crushing your Achilles' tendon a thousand times a day
  • stands just turned into serpentine waiting lines, offering fans college football's most heart-healthy fan experience
  • all Arizona State players and coaches to be equipped with huge, heartbreaking cartoon eyes.
  • Visitors will take a convenient bus from their parking lot to a monorail and then to a bus and then another monorail before boarding a bus to get on a people mover to take a bus to a monorail inside a peoplemover which is then lifted onto a cable car before being placed back on a monorail or some other form of transportation only used in inaccurate books about the future.
  • Ice cream bars shaped like Todd Graham's delicious, blocky head
  • weird dick shapes drawn into the background of games <---may already be there, we mean it is Arizona State

The actual ideas for improving gameday at ASU aren't bad: reducing the distance between the team and the fans, making tailgating a little more hospitable in the brutal Arizona heat, and making a bit of instant atmosphere with in-game music. Innovative, previously unheard of music.

Music will become a key part of the game. "Wild Thing" will be played for ASU kickoffs. The theme for Jaws will be played when opponents punt. "Hells Bells" is the choice when opponents face third down and "Take it to the House" will blare when ASU lines up for kick-off returns.

Cons: using the same music everyone else uses for everything. Pros: somewhere, somehow, Trick Daddy and Trina will see hundreds, possibly even thousands of cents for this. The Disney Institute's website boasts of teaching you how to "D'Think" creatively. If can punch something in the balls through a computer screen, please do this now. (Via.)

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