LIFE GOAL: RECEIVE SWORD AS GIFT. And now, at the 3:30 mark, we present the only Jay Leno footage we will ever ask you to watch.
So Mike Leach just hands out swords as gifts. Make this part of your reality, and please proceed to extremely delayed news.
WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD, WHICH LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE OLD ONE. We've got a very brief SitRep on the whole situation here. Bill C. visits every year of the BCS era and sees how the new four team playoff would have worked. The answer: with diluted controversy as expected, especially with years everyone knew were complete clusterfucks like the greatest season in the history of dystopian college football ever, 2007. (LES MILES IS THE LORD OF CHAOS.)
We can all still get mad about things, and according to stupid people foodmakers that's an asset. Hey, look, in unrelated news: Darren Rovell just got hired by ESPN! [/dies]
THE ANSWER IS HAHAHAHAHAA. The question: has Tennessee had the most difficult four years in all of college football? The real answer is no, because you have money, a brand, and people who care. Go talk to the entire state of New Mexico about what it's like to have none of these surrounding your football team.
HARVEY UPDYKE: Your fate could be in the hands of Alabaman Wiccans.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A UKRAINIAN WHOREHOUSE. In the new search for the worst team-themed bar in the United States, let's start with this one. Comfort yourselves that this exists, Michigan fans, by ordering Hail to the Victors, the only preview guide one will ever need ever for any Michigan football season ever. (MGoBlog has already previewed the next 700 years of college football. The future is glorious, and involves replicant Brady Hokes and multi-tentacled Denard Robinsons as far as the eye can see.)
JUST AIN'T RIGHT. A UGA cheerleader is transferring to Georgia Tech, and we're not reading the comments below because they will give you herpes of the brain.
ETC: Damn, Holly Mangold is on some amazing barbecue. SHOOTING HITLER IN THE BALLS IS MANDATORY VIEWING. You have to give a shit to be a fan, you really do. HOLA: The greatest multiplayer in the world not named "El Ojo Del Oro." NBD, just chillin' on my own island. You're all too addicted to stress, turn off the things that make you money, says asshole with tenure.