"Uh, that didn't go right. C'mon, Mack."

"It's the pre-bump explosion. Get with it, Phil."

"No it's not. You were going to just grab the fist, weren't you?"

"No I wasn't, Phil. You're just behind the times."

"Stop."

"I know young people. They do this all the time."

"They have groups and medication for this. Just ask your doctor about it, Mack. It happens to every guy, really. Not me, but every other guy."

"I'm gonna need to get out of this position eventually, Phil. Gimme an exit strategy."

"Premature eMackulation, if you will"

"Come on. They're taking pictures."

"Say it's a yoga pose you do for mobility."

"Oh, that's a good one. Need a name?"

"'Giant Invisible Cock Grab' seems like a good start."

"I hate you, Phil Mickelson. I hate you and your deflated man-teats so much right now."