THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/25/2012

WELL, THAT'S GREAT, SHITTY COOKIE. AND IN NOW WAY COMPLETELY RANDOM WOOO SEC CHAMPIONSHIP HERE WE COME--

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Pretty sure that was meant for us, and not your team. Sorry, it's the way fortune cookies work. And no, we won't trade you for the "You'll probably go nine and three if you're lucky starting a first-year starter without downfield threats," because we already have at least two variations of that. (Via.)

SUCCINCT AND AUTHORITATIVE COMMENTARY. If you're wondering if Larry Scott's reintro of the plus-one is NO. But maybe the NO. NO A THOUSAND TIMES. SILENCE.

BRIAN BANKS IS FREE. A story not involving realignment AND something positive? Please, that would be lovely, even with the bizarre detail that Banks' accuser friended him on Facebook on his release. ("Complicated" does not possibly begin to cover that relationship's status.)

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT LITERALLY. If John L. Smith thinks Knile Davis needs a few good hits to feel 100% back from his injury, please citizens of Arkansas: let this happen on the football field. This need not take place as he exits a Subway, walks in a local Wal-Mart, or simply relaxes on campus. Your dedication to the cause is appreciated, but there is a 10% chance you could hurt the powerful running back, and an 89% chance you could die of pain on impact. (Via.)

PERHAPS YOU HATE IOWA THIS MORNING. Fortunately for you, Wide Right Natty Lite's hatred never sleeps, and sometimes cannot be contained to the confines of their own blog.

THIS. From the SI Tumblr, an overhead peek at glory (yes even if Kentucky is involved.)

ETC: Congratulations! You will never sleep again. The full history of Cash Money Records, while outlined here to some extent, would be one of the greatest Great American Novels ever written. A Eurovision song contest entrant from 1980 decided the thing Eurovision judges wanted to hear was...a song about Eurovision. (Nice scarf-poppin', Telex, you Belgian freak.) Via Rick Muscles, the only coozie an Ole Miss fan will ever need. Interview with Roy Nelson's beard. VIVA BIG MAYO.

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