A SCENE FROM CITIZEN DELANY

A huge mansion. The wind rattles huge windows. A fire burns in an inhumanly large fireplace. A man lies on a bed. His bald head rests on pillows made from sewn-together domestic beer cartons.

He receives a text suggesting a sensible playoff scenario. A frown crosses his face. He texts back "NO" without elaboration. The man is tired. In his hand, a snowglobe glows in the firelight.

Esedj_medium

Citizen Delany: "ROOOOOOOOOOOSEBOWWWWWWLLLLLLL"

He then drops the snowglobe. It rolls down one carpeted step, then another. It hits the floor, and it explodes, leaking ROTEL Cheese Dip all over the floor.

--Excerpt from the classic Citizen Delany: A Story That Is Just As Good An Explanation Of Whatever The Hell The Big Ten Is Doing To Shoehorn The Bowl System Into A Playoff At All Costs As Any You'd Care To Come Up With. The film was particularly controversial, most especially for the scene of an elephant trampling a real wolverine to death for sixty minutes that followed the legendary snowglobe sequence. Are we saying Jim Delany had a sled called The Rose Bowl he used to ride around as a child in the only happy moments of his life? No: Jim Delany has never been happy.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker