THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/14/2012

IOWA UPS THEIR RECRUITING EFFORTS. When you yet again fail to get the leading recruit from your state, it's time to re-evaluate your strategy. It's time to redouble efforts. It's time for NEW RECRUITING VIDEOS, IOWA.

BAN THIS SICK FILTH. Especially the no-scope cornshot. (Warning: may be used interchangeably for Nebraska, Iowa State, Kansas, or any other farm-ish state team in the United States.) Welcome back to us from vacation, where all we did was drink vodka, watch VH1 "100 Greatest Moments In Hip-Hop Scandal," and watch Farm Simulator Videos on Youtube.

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA. We go on vacation and Florida State openly begins flirting with the Big 12, and everything, for the moment, is magical. The greatest part of this would be the awkward cutting of the cornerbacks from the Florida State roster, since cornerback play is banned in the Big 12, or may take place under an exemption for the handless playing the position with giant cartoon-sized Mickey Mouse hand protheses.

RIP. Longtime Miami AD Paul Dee died at the age of 65 over the weekend. He will be remembered both for his revival of the Miami football program in the 1990s, and also for kneecapping the USC program for some reason no one has ever properly explained in the 2000s.

NORM CHOW, COACHING IN HIS VEGAS PHASE. Possibly diminished as a football brain, yes, but whether Norm Chow is still a good coach might not be overly relevant in a schedule filled with some delicious, mushy poi not requiring any actual teeth to digest.

AKRON IS NOW A FIST-PUMP-BASED ECONOMY. Please, someone counter with a "wanking motion world record," and then realize Jim Delany has been making one for well over a decade now in all directions.

PRETTY ACCURATE, ACTUALLY. This is a tidy review of the basics of Florida's new Boise-fied offense, and also of how we don't actually have the people to run it yet.

PRETTY HORRIBLE, ACTUALLY. Idaho wide receiver Ken McRoyal was shot and killed in Los Angeles over the weekend. (Via.)

ETC: Nothing is funny about murder, but seriously that looks like Brian Cook in the accused pic. A necessity for home and now garden.

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