THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/1/2012

Update in the EDSBS Charity Boogaloo coming up. DONATE DONATE DONATE.

THE WOLF IS LOOSE.

Derek Dooley will be missed. He's doomed, doomed, doomed at Tennessee, but history will remember him well for being a charming, stable bridge between the chaos of the late Fulmer era and the one year madness of the Kiffin experiment. He is also one of three or four SEC coaches with absolutely no filter on his speech, and for that we'll miss him most.

I think some left because the fit wasn't right," Dooley said. "I think some left because they maybe allowed the fear … the fear made the wolf a little bigger than it was.

When you eulogize the Dooley era, please: ascribe the proper size of the dire wolves running through the offices. This being Tennessee, this may be entirely literal, with real wolves wandering through the hallways. When it ends, James Franklin will be the one who makes it a swift beheading JUST KIDDING. If James Franklin gets the chance, he'll strap on a Bane mask and let the real pain begin.

RE: TENNESSEE. They still do have a football team, something Holly either verified, or completely manufactured with extras hired from local theatres in Knoxville.

THE LONG FUNERAL. The WAC is as good as dead, but remember like pilots say: nothing happens quickly in the air, or in conference expansion. With Texas State and UT-A on the way to the Sun Belt, the conference that once brought you the finest games in the high sixties broadcast at 1 a.m. is now deceased.

They will be left with Idaho and New Mexico state, whose conference slates for the immediate future are just playing each other eight times in alternating home and away games. At least New Mexico State has the possibly lucrative option of playing every SEC team as a permanent designated conference gimp, since they sort of occupy that role already. (Via) That loud cackling noise you hear? Boise State fans giggling as they drive past a frostbitten, shivering Idaho freshly evicted from the halfway house.

THIS IS NOT ADVERTISING YOU WANT. No, Miami. Just no.

THIS MAY NOT BE AN UNUSUAL THING. A former assistant coach claims Arizona's facilities aren't as good as some Texas high schools, and seriously this may not be unusual because Texas high schools are insane, and often fitted with weight rooms and football lairs that would make Phil Knight nod with condescending approval. Yeah, there's not blow job robots, but that's still pretty great, Cowprestigedale Central Christian. Well done, for peasants.

THE SAD, WEIRD CASE OF ANTHONY YOUNG. Just one long, strange story of injury, miscommunication, and what happens to players who don't make it through without tripping over college football's thousand hurdles. (Remember that there are undoubtedly two sides to this story, but also note that Paul Rhoads comes across as kind of a dick here.)

VERBALLY SOLID. Andy, Dan, and Ty discuss playoffs and (of course) barbecue.

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