THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/9/2012

FOR THE PULSE OF ARKANSAS: TO THE WAFFLE HOUSE!

We would laugh at ESPN for going to the Waffle House to test the pulse of Fayetteville, but that makes total sense if we're being honest about Fayetteville, or Athens, or any small SEC college town, really. (Except for Starkville. You'd have to hit the Starkville Cafe or City Bagel.) The first guy in that video may be the unaging immortal first settler of Arkansas, and is speaking genuine frontier gibberish.

THIS IS REALLY AND TRULY HAPPENING. The Petrino-in is scheduled in Fayetteville at 7 p.m. CT, and will be a test both of the power of social networks to successfully organize protests in Arkansas and of people you can cheat and lie to as long as you are pretty and write the checks on time. 21-5 is its own argument, and should have been on Bobby Petrino's ballcap at the press conference, but OCCUPY HAWG STREET will probably have as many cameras as protesters. (Jason says 21-5, by the way, isn't necessarily as glossy as 21-5 might look when you add up how Petrino's done it. )

YOUR PERSONAL BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. The woman in question in the case? In "safe mode," and likely defragmenting her hard drive just to make sure she's out of commission for a while.

DECIPHERING IT ALL. Arkansas Expats runs down the rumors you're pretending not to read but are reading, and grades them by order of probability and truthiness.

NON-PETRINO NEWS STARTS HERE. The Orange and Blue game over the weekend went about as well as expected, which is to say that like most intrasquad scrimmages it was inconclusive, frustrating, promising, and yet still much better than last year in every way because people sort of knew what they were doing, and also because Charlie Weis was not there sucking up hundreds of dollars an hour in wasted money. Bit more on this later.

LARGE PROMISING THING. Ahmad Fulwood, a five star receiver prospect for 2013, committed to Florida over the weekend. That's great! We just have to keep Dabo off him for a year. That's not great, especially because his mother prefers Clemson over Florida, and Dabo's great with moms who like his hypnotic, babbling gibberish-whispers and Christ-heavy hand-patting recruiting pitch.

NOT TRANSFERRING! Joe Vellano, Maryland's promising young tight end, has not transferred from Maryland. His foot, however, has decided to take an injury sabbatical, and he will miss the rest of spring practice.

FAT MEN CATCHING THINGS. Northwestern football does everything you've always wanted to do to linemen at the end of practice. Do not laugh if you've never had to catch something fired from a Jugs gun: the angles are insane, and an oblong ball is so much harder to catch than you remember it being.

KU PREPARES FOR FOOTBALL SEASON. Their leading rusher, James Sims, was popped for DUI over the weekend. This will be addressed in a separate Fulmer Cup post later, but we're sure Charlie Weis will crack down and punish him by installing him in an offense with three shitty running plays and no serious commitment to the run. (Note: he was going to do this anyway.)

ETC: Benny HillMickelson is well worth your time. ZODIAC_MF got oh so real on the topic of Burger King over the weekend. Matthew Monte's Peggy/Baby money-countin' GIF is already the best thing you will see all week.

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