NCAA BRACKET TOURNAMENT LOLWUT BASKETBALL /BRAINBROKE

When Dr. James Naismith invented the game of basketball, he envisioned a few specific pillars for his game that even some one hundred and fifty years later would still ring true today. He imagined a sport that heralded teamwork/selflessness, a contest that rewarded pure, unadulterated fundamentals, and above all else, he hoped for a --DEAR GOD OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD WHAT IS THAT:

You can never go back. Sure, you can go on living your life, pretending that everything was as it was just moments before you pressed the play button above. But someday, when you least suspect it, the very visuals you just witnessed will come calling like a siren, a siren leading your brain into a cove of sharp rocks and mental asdf;loladofpiabnafoj BSOD. A few observations to try and put it all in proper perspective so that the healing may begin:

-This explains so much about the Todd Lickliter-era. I apologize for knowing what this is, but after visiting Wikipedia, you too shall have to send his article to seven other people lest L'il John plow through your computer monitor and miss so many wide open jumpers your anger about the obvious nepotism will cause your eye balls to melt from their sockets.

-It also explains so much about the last two years of Iowa football. Don't worry; we have it on very good authority that Greg Davis was in attendance at this very all-star basketball game. Okay, okay, not so much Greg Davis, but some guy who kind of looks like Greg Davis who has Greg's e-mail address and will forward him this video so there's at least one successful play to Iowa's playbook's name. LOL J/K. Greg Davis can't read (but he does recognize the characters that form his own name, which cause him to squeal and clap like a trained seal.)

-Why is this so much more rewarding than any Kentucky/semipro/proeysim/NBA basketball game I've watched in the last month and a half? Is this all that David Stern needs to make us all have a real good time [TM, Pitbull] watching grown ass men throw around a giant piece of inflated, synthetic rubber and leather once again (miss u, MJ waves)?.

-I really, really, really, really, really, really, miss football, you guys.

/Cries

/Drinks something to numb the pain at 1:18 p.m.

/Imagines a world where Joker Phillips and Charlie Weis are matching wits against one another for a national title of some kind.

/That national title is of Jason's Deli franchisees.

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