BOBBY PETRINO HAS A MOTORCYCLE? Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino owns a motorcycle. Surprise one! Surprise two: he was involved in some kind of one-vehicle accident Sunday evening at 6:45 p.m., and was taken to a local hospital where he stayed overnight. The exact degree of his injuries remains unknown, but rest assured as soon as we find out they were minor, and that he's okay, we'll all laugh at this like we want to. Until then, thoughts and concern rays in the direction of Hoglandia, and seriously motorcycles are scary as shit even if you have a great deal of experience riding them (as Petrino did.)
UPDATE: Petrino is "banged up" but will recover, per first responder Joe Schad.
NOT A SUPERB WEEKEND FOR BACON LOVERS. The other major story from Arkansas football this weekend involves wide receiver Kane Whitehurst getting arrested for weed possession after tearing ass around a campus parking garage. Hair. LOOK AT THE HAIR. (Fulmer Cup points to be awarded in a separate post.)
WANT SOME GOOD ARKANSAS NEWS? There isn't any at the moment. But hey, Christine Michael is looking good at Texas A&M in his recovery from last year's injury, and no, that doesn't make you feel any better whatsoever, does it Arkansas fans? We're terrible at emotions. Here, let's hug. [tries to open arms] [sort of just flaps them like wings and bumps into you] [feels horrible]
DON'T SAY GUNSLINGER. The LSU Spring Game let Zach Mettenberger off the chain, and in doing so revealed some nice throws along with a propensity for risk that might (don't) get him a reputation (DON'T) okay maybe a just a hint of a whisper of a shred of (STOOOOOOPPPP) okay just a smidge of Favre-ish Gunslinger! spirit to him. That's great! Unless you're facing Alabama! The running backs are the same four-headed monsters they were from last year, so this just sounds like your typical Les Miles LSU team: ferocious on defense, prone to the occasional crippling lapse, and with a gigantic Cheshire Cat playing quarterback.
TEXAS CARES. That's why they gave you trick plays in the spring game. They also played right into the notion that Jaxon Shipley is the best QB on the team, which he can't be since David Ash seems convinced he is the starter for some reason having to do with being confident and stuff. (All quarterbacks have to say this, even if they are David Ash in 2012 at Texas.)
IN SPRING MIKE LEACH QUOTES RISE FROM THE MIST LIKE YOUNG PHEASANT ON THE WING. Fly, little ones. Fly on toward glory.
"All of a sudden some guy comes here and 'whoa what what.' Or the other thing is, you know, some guy blitzes, the other guy is supposed to cover and he's out of position and you fuckin' stick him with the ball and then off he goes ... you might leave out that one deal." -- Leach, colorful as always, describing how the offense reacts to blitzes and breakdowns.
ETC: I was the one in the helmet with the riot shield, girl. Call me. Shawn Michaels has a serious sad after last night's Undertaker/HHH match. Karl Malone Jr joins Les Miles' Camp For Young Males Desiring Character And Chest Expansion. Destroying this much priceless art at once is, well, kind of an art unto itself.