THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/5/2012

MACKLAB. If it's Monday, that means a tired soul somewhere in the heartland is sleeping off a four day meth bender, and the byproduct of that bender is posted on the Youtube account of one Catlab.

ALL HAIL CATLAB. Hail Catlab forever.

NEW RIVALS, HELLO. South Carolina, meet Texas A&M. TAMU, meet South Carolina. You'll get along as long as you don't discuss livestock. South Carolinians will swear by pigs, and TAMU by horses, and that's how people get shot.

THE EVER-ENTERTAINING ACC BECKONS. We're not being entirely sarcastic there, since why else would we recommend a preview of college football's most maddening and unpredictable conference, especially when there's legitimately interesting questions like whether Clemson's going to completely reconfigure itself to Tulsa East by going all-offense (likely!) or whether Florida State will somehow not have their entire offensive line injured for the course of a season (unlikely, but they've got some kind of curse working there.)

Also, this:

Maryland: Can Edsall stop the bleeding?

HAHAHAHHAHA. All a preface to winning eight games and confusing the living shit out of everyone in the universe except those of us that know that the contrarian's bet in the ACC is to go the exact opposite of everyone else with some regard for the general 8-5ish equilibrium that rules the conference.

OF SPECIAL IMPORT TO THAT CONFERENCE. Our rule about "never have anythign to do with a recruit who wants to sign after signing day" continues to be largely accurate.

AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT KIND OF CONFERENCE. Bill C. attended the Sloan Sports Analytics Conference, and he was like, "HOLY SHIT BILL JAMES CAN DO BLOW LIKE A VACUUM CLEANER IN A TALCUM POWDER FACTORY." Or he sort of summed it up, and invited you to read the longer, really number-crunchy stuff elsewhere. Either way it's worth a persual.

DUCK IS KOSHER. Even though you can't consume the football version until after sunset on the Sabbath, which hasn't stopped Lander College from working the Ducks into the curriculum.

NOOOOO CHRIS DON'T DO IT SCREAMS THE COMMENTARIAT'S CATEGORY FIVERS. A young man can attend Vanderbilt, and he can attend law school, but you cannot make that young man wise enough to not become an attorney. James Franklin is now at our door demanding a duel, brb. (Via.)

ETC: Run Home Jack points out that this story makes Mizzou all-too-easy a pick for the SEC. We're due for a Fulmer Cupdate later today, so the Josh Huff DUI arrest and a few other things will be noted, so know that we see them and are doing the simple math that will take us four hours to do. Hold on to your butts, Yahoo bros. The party rock has always been the party rock.

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