THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/15/2012

IMPORTANT SCIENCE NEWS. The question of what makes a stadium loud, really loud, or unbearably horrendous to the ears is well beyond our feeble skills, so we asked others who actually knew what they were doing that very question. The answers? Go steep, put a roof on that thing, and make everyone sit in on concrete bleachers while wearing suits of armor.

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Engineers may seem sane, but beneath their logical exteriors lie the dreams of madmen. Excuse us, we need to go install conical sound reflectors on the corners of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium while no one's looking.

JAMES FRANKLIN TWEAKS HIS SHOULDER, AND NOT WHILE GETTING INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH TODD GRANTHAM. The Mizzou QB, not the Vanderbilt coach, tweaked his shoulder during practice, and this is a clarification we'll only be making for as long as the two are in the same division in the same conference. The exact degree of injury is unclear.

MIKE GUNDY GETTING SMALL FRACTIONS OF THAT T. BOONE OXYGEN RIGHTS MONEY. Mike Gundy's new contract extension takes him over the three mil mark per year, meaning he, Bob Stoops, and Mark Richt will be at this point college football's three best-settled lifers at their respective posts. This being a contract with T. Boone, we assume there's something built into that about the water rights to a small African country's aquifers.

HE WAS, AND HE SHOULD. If Muschamp's criticizing what he's got of Urban Meyer's last couple of recruiting classes, well, he could. Whether he should is another question entirely, since he's the dude trying to rebuild a raft mid-stream and you should really get on that, Will. (We know you are, but seriously, Florida football is not good for our mental health or those around us, so please get on that.)

OHIO STATE STEREOTYPES ONLY. The Cleveland Scene interviewed us as part of an attempt to build a portrait of the classic Bucknut, and please save us the email and note two things, Ohio State fans: 1.) this is the stereotype only, and 2.) the quote "MMA wrestling" is a misquote, and requires a conjunction between the two.

WE ASSUME PITT WILL CHALLENGE THIS RULING. Miami of Ohio has applied for a trademark for "The Cradle of Coaches," something everyone who ever worked for Dave Wannstedt at Pitt knows is total bullshit.

HOLGO HAIR, PART TWO. Catlab's work this week has a Holgo-hair theme.

ETC. We had nothing to do with the drunkenness mentioned here. The Fireball Cup is a noble and worthy exercise in amusing bullshit sports metrics. The worst thing you will read today is the NYT suddenly discovering MMA. Arkansas fans, you now want this in your living room.

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