*PHONE RINGS*

RECEPTIONIST: Bret Bielema's office, this is Betty.

The Bielea monster: Hey too fine. How's the view from up there on the mountain high?

RECEPTIONIST: Coach... I'm at the desk just outside your office door.

Biel With It: University statutes prohibit me from sexually harassing you out loud. If I compliment your statutes, if you get my drift, through the phone, there's no paper trail.

RECEPTIONIST: There would be a paper trail if you inappropriately hit on me out loud?

Let's Make a Biel: Court stenographer, baby girl. Somebody's clearly never been in court before.

RECEPTIONIST: Well, um, anyway, what can I help you with today coach?

How Does It Biel: I've got an idea for a shirt, but I need a lady's touch. Women are creative and shit. These fingers are only good for going too far on first dates and punching the clowns that keep that from being a reality.

RECEPTIONIST: *Sigh* Send it on over.

*RECEPTIONIST OPENS HER E-MAIL*

I'm A Biel: How's that lookin' Princess?

RECEPTIONIST: You want to produce shirts that say... 'CREASE CREATURES'?

Touch, Biel, and Stand: You know it, hotness.

RECEPTIONIST: ... Coach, I'm used to... Well, you, but what exactly is the general public supposed to think when they see these?

License to ConBiel Carry: They'll know what we're all about. Wisconsin men are business minded. We quit our jobs, we bunker down, and we dive right in for like 3 days.

RECEPTIONIST: ........

Try the Biel: As is customary, I'll judge that breathing for 'yes'.

***Two weeks later at the UW Bookstore***: