LEFT BEHIND: MEET THE RANTYCHRIST
by Spencer Hall on Feb 9, 2012 12:50 PM EST
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PrintSCENE: Everyone who isn't praying to SliveBot is like "Oh no we're in trouble"
Everyone not praying to Slivebot: Oh no we are in trouble.
Slivebot Rex: Too late hahahaha. You are now LEFT BEHIND.
The name of this book is LEFT BEHIND. This is why he says it.
Big Eastern USA: Nooo! Larry! But you didn't pray to Slivebot!
Larry Scott: No. But my vacation house on Planet Niketown is sweet and I'm going there forever bye.
Larry Scott goes up to Nike heaven with a baby buffalo in his arms. He's also wearing future clothes. Editor mention future clothes put ahead of all this.
Jim Delany: I am going to Big Ten Heaven.
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: What's that like?
Delany: Tasteful. Cheap. 50 degrees all the time. There's some video poker machines but no one plays them. I sit in a room and watch Daktari reruns on an old black and white television. It's perfect.
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: Ahhhh there's a John Swofford hanging on your shoe.
Swofford: Grip strength! I had one of those squeezey balls on my desk and now it saved my football conference!
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: Ahhhhh now I am LEFT BEHIND.
MEMPHIS FOOTBALL runs up. He is wearing a football helmet and basketball shirsey.
Memphis Football: I want to help you. You will need help because the Tribulation is comin' and we will have to survive and fight and things.
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: What's that?
Memphis Football: It's where we give up and just become a basketball conference for real Jonford. Also, there's fire and things because we did not pray to Slivebot, and then some kind of fight with the Rantychrist.
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: What's the Rantychrist?
JAKE PLUMMER WAS A BETTER LEADER THAN DAN MARINO!
TROY AIKMAN WAS NOT ONLY GAY BUT WROTE THE FIRST SEASON OF FIREFLY IN A BATH HOUSE.
HYDROX ARE THE SECOND BEST COOKIES BECAUSE THE BEST ARE WALGREENS BRAND OATMEAL RAISIN.
I THINK—AND HE WILL AGREE WHEN HE HEARS THIS—THAT CHRIS BOSH IS A 15 YEAR OLD AGORAPHOBIC GIRL WITH A HORMONE DISORDER.
THE BCS IS NOT ONLY THE BEST WAY TO DECIDE A COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP BUT IS ALSO THE ONLY WAY THIS COUNTRY CAN CONFRONT THE ISSUE OF URBAN ANIMAL CONTROL.
HOW CAN YOU WATCH FOOTAGE OF THE EXXON-VALDEZ SPILL AND NOT ROOT FOR THE OIL TANKER?
AAAAGGGHHH GRRGGGGGG SNAAAAARRRLLLL AAAAAAAHHHHH
THE TEXAS WRONGHORNS THE OHIO STATE SUCKEYES INFLAMMATORY THINGS HACK BROWN AND JIM SMELLSEL--
GISELE SHOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL AND GO BACK TO WHAT SHE'S GOOD AT, AND THAT'S THAT TROY AIKMAN IS GAY AND IT'S LEBRON'S FAULT.
BOB STOOPS SHOULD FIRE HIMSELF FOR THE SHAMEFUL JOB HE'S DONE AS OKLAHOMA'S HEAD COACH.
BACTERIA ISN'T REAL AND NEITHER ARE THE YANKEES.
EVEN THOUGH HE WAS LIVING A LIE HISTORY WILL REFLECT TROY AIKMAN AS A JACKIE ROBINSON FIGURE.
UNTIL HE PROVES HE CAN WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP MY NEPHEW SHOULDN'T SLEEP INSIDE.
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR THE ELI MANNING HATERS, AND THAT WORD IS "SUPERBOWLABILITY."
JEREMY LIN IS JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF IVY LEAGUE PRIVILEGE GONE HAYWIRE. REMEMBER WHAT LARRY SUMMERS DID TO THE ECONOMY!? THAT'S WHAT'LL HAPPEN TO THE NBA
GENESIS WAS NOTHING WITHOUT PETER GABRIEL.
IF PORT-AU-PRINCE HAD REAL GRIT LIKE TIM TEBOW THEY WOULDN'T BE WHERE THEY ARE TODAY.
AND NOW WATCH ME DEBATE THE MASTERS WITH KEVIN JAMES.
MICHAEL JORDAN'S FAILURES AS AN OWNER, BUSINESSMAN, AND HUSBAND HAVE RETROACTIVELY PROVEN OSCAR ROBERTSON'S SUPERIORITY AS A SCORING GUARD.
NICK SABAN'S EMBARRASSING EXIT FROM THE DOLPHINS RENDERS HIS WORK AT ALABAMA AN ABJECT FAILURE AND A DISGRACE.
THE DALLAS STARS SHOWER NAKED TOGETHER. I'M REPORTING THAT AS FACT.
EUGENICS IS WORKABLE IF WE CAN ISOLATE THE CLUTCH GENE.
THERE'S THE RIGHT WAY. AND THEN THERE'S THE ELWAY.*
DAN SNYDER WILL WIN THREE SUPER BOWLS AS OWNER OF THE REDSKINS...
...ONCE HE TRADES FOR TIM TEBOW AND DECIDES TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT WINNING.
BOBBY PETRINO COULD WIN TWO NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS AT ARKANSAS AND STILL BE A COWARD FOR NOT VISITING MICHAEL VICK IN PRISON ENOUGH TIMES.
MIKE VICK IS HISTORY'S GREATEST VILLAIN.
I WILL BE DOING THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO STOP ME.
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: I don't want to live anymore.
Memphis Football: So I'm taking that as a yes?
Big Eastern USA Jonford Marinatto: [dies]
Memphis Football: [fistpumps]
I am looking to sell this screenplayvella for no less than $2 million. Please contact us at the listed email. Any similarities to real people is coincidental and unintended.
*real Skip Bayless quote
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Comments
The dumbest quote was the real one
God fucking damnit Bayless.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
sorry
but Bayless’ dumbest quotes go much farther, I’ll offer two of the countless examples
(1) Michael Vick (who’s left handed) actually throws better with his right hand and will roll out to the left and do so in a game as a trick play
(2) Louisville (2008) would easily beat Florida (then national champs) on a neutral field
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 9, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions
shit, that quote about Louisville was actually 06 I think
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 9, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
If only Michael Bush hadn't been hurt in game one...
At least we would have gotten to play for it.
It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy...Let's go exploring!
Finally found Skip Bayless a suitable "debate" opponent
I saw a girl crying tonight. When I asked why she said: "Because everybody lost."
Black Shoe Diaries
@runthedive
by Peter Gray on Feb 9, 2012 12:56 PM EST reply actions 11 recs
91,000 people attend "debate" at the Silverdome
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions
Mr. McMahon
Please make it a “Loser Leaves Town Match”
Ah, never mind. That would just mean the mysterious masked “Skip Baymore” would appear on TV the following week.
"Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons"
by the beefy ghost of prop joe on Feb 9, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
How about "Loser Leaves this Mortal Coil?"
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
In an act of synergy ESPN will make the loser the 1000th Happy Haunt at Disney's Haunted Mansion.
But what do you expect? When you raise up a young boy's hopes and then just crush 'em. Like so many paper beer cups.
Can he bite their ears off?
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
I think in Skip's case that'd be the wrong cranial accessory
Writer (and a handsome one at that),
And the Valley Shook
Eddies in it
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 1:29 PM EST up reply actions
me, too
"if they're still paying, you're still winning."
-my dad
by whiskey_soup on Feb 9, 2012 1:57 PM EST up reply actions 41 recs
holy shit that is amazing
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:13 PM EST up reply actions
/itsbeautifulcat.jpg/
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
I refuse to believe that Bayless actually said only one of those things, Swindle.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
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So, assuming I want to become a much reviled, but well paid talking head
Which famous QB do I call gay in an “expose?” I’m thinking Roethlisberger. Clearly all that questionable behavior with teenage girls was just repressed self loathing.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Brett Favre
I saw a girl crying tonight. When I asked why she said: "Because everybody lost."
Black Shoe Diaries
@runthedive
Have you seen how he dresses
If that man is gay, then the gay community has failed.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
HE'S JUST TRYING TO THROW YOU OFF
I saw a girl crying tonight. When I asked why she said: "Because everybody lost."
Black Shoe Diaries
@runthedive
Lol Wranglers.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 1:15 PM EST up reply actions
Even worse,
he wears the shitty Wal-Mart Wranglers instead of the cowboy ones.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Well, you know.
Can’t wear the good jeans when you’re busy standing next to your truck in a clearing in the woods and maybe there’s a dog or something.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 1:28 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Especially when a pickup football game breaks out and requires you to make that guy dive into the mud puddle
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
Or when you're playing backyard football. Because that's totally what you wear for that.
Oh wait…
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 1:34 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Oh hi Dougie
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 1:35 PM EST up reply actions
OH HI ROD
…hello Nicky
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 7:14 PM EST up reply actions
Oh hai PAAAWWWWWLLLL
Les Miles is my coach. You think you can show me the mouth of madness? I've worn madness' hat, and the fit was perfect.
by Matt 'n' The Hat on Feb 9, 2012 2:33 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Please to leave my 'Faded Glory' brand jeans alone.
Next thing I know you are going to hate on my EZ Striders.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 9, 2012 1:32 PM EST up reply actions
I paged you in the CI btw
I wanna have a good time and enjoy my Jack.
The twitterz, not for the weak.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 9, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions
They're different?
(Fuck, I wouldn’t know, I wear Levi’s.)
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
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Compare Brett Favre's ass in those shitty Wranglers to, I dunno, George Strait in "real" Wranglers.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Objection!
Requires looking at Brett Favre’s ass.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I am not an expert on such matters.
However, isn’t it possible that George Strait just has a better ass?
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
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They're different jeans.
Wranglers for cowboys are tight and do an excellent job accenting the butt. Wal-Mart Wranglers are shaped totally different. Srsly, how are y’all not aware of the Wrangler Butt?
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Um... cuz we're dudes
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
by stempke on Feb 9, 2012 1:54 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I guess it's because I went to a cow college, was friends with lots of College of Ag guys, and go to horseshows.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I know what you're talking about. But I think that's a by product of Oklahoma/Texas-ness
I wanna have a good time and enjoy my Jack.
The twitterz, not for the weak.
by Chloe Denmark on Feb 9, 2012 2:06 PM EST up reply actions
Knew I could count on you!
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
...because I'm a male heterosexual
who also doesn’t wear Wranglers?
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/allicolls turns on Spotify
//Opens ‘Aaron Watson’ playlist, selects ‘Shut Up And Dance’
/// “Wrangler Butts” turned to 11
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 9, 2012 1:55 PM EST up reply actions
Allicolls discovered yesterday that Spotify doesn't work on the new work computers.
Haz a sad.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
the NFF at the new work has blocked Spotify and most internet radio
but they have yet to block MOG.
/so glad I got a membership for my birthday
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:18 PM EST up reply actions
Not that surprising, really.
Levi’s do something similar (you’ll get different quality grades depending on what store you get them at). Just about all labels do, some are just more blatant about it than others (looking at you RL and Brooks).
Yeah, probably.
You cannot play football in tight jeans. This is a scientific fact.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
this is true
any pants that snap back when stretched are a bad idea
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:03 PM EST up reply actions
Brett Favre is a bear, obviously.
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions
"TROY AIKMAN IS GAY AND ITS LEBRON'S FAULT."
Look, I don’t know how you got the leaked title of Woody Paige’s autobiography, but you should probably expect a strongly worded and totally irrational cease and desist letter any day now.
Now on Twitter at @MaconDawg. Same great snark, fewer characters!
by MaconDawg on Feb 9, 2012 1:10 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
But are we sure it's not Lebron's fault?
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Is it bad that I had to Google the Dallas Stars?
Oh, and fuck Meatball Marinatto.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
It's not bad, considering they don't exist
North Stars Forever, Forever North Stars
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
by stempke on Feb 9, 2012 1:16 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
The stars, tonight, are big and bright..
Derp in the heart of Texas.
by ssladler on Feb 9, 2012 1:25 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Tom Hicks in bloom
Is like anoticeofdefaultfromcreditorsinvokingtheaccelerationclausewithintenttoseizehockeyteamusedascollateralforloantobuyEPLteam
/clapclapclapclap
Derp in the Heart of Texas!
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 9, 2012 1:35 PM EST up reply actions
HULL SCORES HULL SCORES
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by jonfmorse on Feb 9, 2012 1:33 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Remember when I said I didn't like you?
I take it back. I hate you
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
No, you don't.
That would be like hating puppies and chocolate and beer.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
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He's an educated man- of course you really hate him
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
/tommyleejones.jpg
Who you callin’ edumacated?
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
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Why, Johnny Ringo,
you look like somebody just walked over your grave
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
Now I really hate him.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Val Kilmer's second finest performance
Behind on The Doors and slightly ahead of The Salton Sea
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I don't know how many movies Val has made, but that's pretty low on the list for me
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I kinda like that movie, but I can give no rational reasons why
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Because it had Simon Templar
but not Roger Moore.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
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I kind of liked The Saint
Never cared much for the actual Doors, but he nailed that performance. Gotta throw Real Genius up near the top of the list too
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
I liked Real Genius a lot....
Professor Hathaway: When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened?
Chris Knight: I got a haircut?
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 9, 2012 2:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Loved real genius
my favorite:
Mitch Taylor: The weirdest thing just happened to me.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you were standing in sort of sun-god robes on top of a pyramid, and there were hundreds of naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch Taylor: No…
Chris Knight: Why, am I the only one who has that dream?
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions
Mmmm, toxic waste...
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
So...
…if there’s anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Favorite Quote
Chris: I found this under H for toy.
Mitch: What is it?
Chris: It’s a penis stretcher. Want to try it?
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions
Frederic FUCKING Chopin.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
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Maybe his second finest, but still my favorite.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Doc tops Jim Morrison.
Agree on Salton Sea at #3
I’ll slide Gay Perry in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” in at #4
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
But you haven't even threatened to knock my teeth out yet.
/grump
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
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"THE BCS IS NOT ONLY THE BEST WAY TO DECIDE A COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP BUT IS ALSO THE ONLY WAY THIS COUNTRY CAN CONFRONT THE ISSUE OF URBAN ANIMAL CONTROL."
And the state of Ohio always loses in both.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 1:14 PM EST reply actions 21 recs
Rec'd. Would rec again.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
"Monkey with Herpes Still on Loose After Ohio Animal Farm Mayhem"
Greatest. Headline. Ever.
(We Floridians will surely pull off something even more idiotic any second now.)
by Jack Fact on Feb 9, 2012 2:02 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
...
Hire herpes monkey as offensive coordinator?
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 2:05 PM EST up reply actions
pythons
they’re coming
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 9, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
Gator with aids lose after motorboat misshap
now I must make this happen
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:05 PM EST up reply actions
If the Big East is "left behind", what does that make CUSA?
this is how i console myself.
Here lies ASCII Picard, he never scored.
by touchdown H-town on Feb 9, 2012 1:22 PM EST reply actions
Pretty much the same deal
I mean seriously, is there much of a difference now?
Bobby Hill: What's a meat examination team?
Hank Hill: It's like a debate team, only instead of doing something useless you get to grade the cut and quality of meat!
And West Virginia breaks away from the Big Eastern USA's clutches....
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the [mid] western shore.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 9, 2012 1:22 PM EST reply actions 8 recs
I guess they have a new Pitt to tell to eat shit.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 1:35 PM EST up reply actions
Hmmm,
EAT SHIT, TECH! That might work.
It’s 2:45 PM, and Texas Tech still sucks!
This is kinda fun.
Oklahoma sucks, but Okie State swallows!
The best part of Kansas State was left to run down Kansas’ leg.
I need to work on some more.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
/tommyleejones.jpg
Don’t make me start, hillbilly!
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Oooh, a neck fight.
Somebody’s getting a stabbin.
by Albino Tornado on Feb 9, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
You're surrounded by corn, same as me. Hush.
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Rednecks are in the south, man.
We’re hicks. At least, Cornhuskers are.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Don't church it up (teehee)
If you’ve ever had a discussion about mud tires or the merits of a three point hitch, you’re a redneck
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Port of Catoosa prepares to defend against invasion
This is your closest point of debarkation for OU and Okie State.
/shortage of navigable rivers
//locals see ’eers running around with muskets
///locals check calendar to see if they missed the opening of muzzleloader deer season
////locals go home to get own muzzleloaders prepared for season
Welcome to the BigHowevermanywehaveontheplainsnow.
by TwoPalePonies on Feb 9, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions
I will take a naval invasion at Catoosa
as a direct attack on my person.
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Thank you.... I am looking forward to it.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Hoping for OU-WVU at Morgantown this fall
I live outside of NYC and have 3 little kids — opportunities to see games have been scarce the past few years, and that’s close enough that I’d make it.
Besides, I burned couches occasionally in college — I should fit right in.
by TwoPalePonies on Feb 9, 2012 3:59 PM EST up reply actions
From what I heard about the potential schedule, OU will be in Morgantown.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
That's what I've heard, too.
Hope it’s right.
by TwoPalePonies on Feb 9, 2012 4:06 PM EST up reply actions
You're assuming OU survives the Irish Invasion
/please Mr. Stoops don’t kill us… make poops instead.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
New Record
February 9 for causing me to laugh out loud in a public place in advance of the upcoming season.
by Counter Trap on Feb 9, 2012 1:24 PM EST via mobile reply actions
MIKE VICK IS HISTORY'S GREATEST VILLAIN....
Until replaced by whoever takes over for Tebow in Denver.
I liked Daktari.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
by blanx73 on Feb 9, 2012 1:27 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
A Mississippi State Rep. wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 9, 2012 1:37 PM EST via Android app reply actions
Rename the Mississippi River.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 9, 2012 1:46 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
Minnesota River, Sr.?
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 1:47 PM EST up reply actions
Its a mere creek in Minnesota.
In St. Cloud, you can hop over it.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 9, 2012 1:52 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
BUT THAT'S WHERE IT STARTS AND WHERE THIS DISCUSSION ENDS SIR
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions
It starts in Montana.
/indignant sniff
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Wikipedia says western Minnesota so that's what I go with.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 2:06 PM EST up reply actions
Wikipedia is not an acceptable source.
/writes big red F on SJ’s paper
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DAMMIT I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE USED THE THING WHICH WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THE EXACT SAME DAMN THING BUT TAKEN THRICE AS LONG TO FIND
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions
You see Mr. Johnson
By the technical definition, the source of the Mississippi should be the same as it’s largest tributary, the Missouri, and thereby start in Montana. But due to the USGS “arbitrary decision” (their word, not mine) they decided it started in Lake Itasca, MN.
That arbitrary decision was made based on the little known “Fuck Missouri” doctrine of 1803.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
really that doctrine applies to most decisions involving missouri
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:06 PM EST up reply actions
I actually would agree with this line of logic.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:09 PM EST up reply actions
/guy who read River-Horse
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:20 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Missed that.... All I know of Heat-Moon was Blue Highways
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
He travels across the entire continent almost entirely in a small boat.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Feb 9, 2012 3:54 PM EST up reply actions
Sounds very cool. I should look for it.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Not in St. Cloud so much, but at Itasca State Park you can
Or at least walk across at the headwaters. It’s kind of a long jump if memory serves.
There's a log you can walk across
And taking your kids up to wade in the Mississippi is a popular day trip up in lake cabin country.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Pretty much the same in downtown Minneapolis.
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
Part of it.
Depends on whether you’re above or below the falls.
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 9, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions
I move that we rename the Mississippi River south of Saint Louis
to the Missouri River.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
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Does Atlanta have a river?
It should probably be called the Peachtree River.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 1:54 PM EST up reply actions
Alan Jackson would not be pleased
ESS BEE CEEE SPEEEEEED!
by MightyMightyMitzu on Feb 9, 2012 1:57 PM EST up reply actions
We have the Chattahoochee
It becomes the border line between GA & Ala., then into Fl. The 3 states are fighting over the water rights, so let’s rename it Battlecreek.
/a lone banjo strums in the distance
//a guitar picks up the melody
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Sorry Chattooga river's way up there and not in the ATL.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions
Would say Peachtree Battle, but that's already taken too.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:10 PM EST up reply actions
Your Frosted Flakes are made in Battle Creek, MI.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
Or the part in Atlanta to Piss River
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:13 PM EST up reply actions
So, south of Prairie du Chien
it can be the Wisconsin River. Until it turns into the Illinois River at Grafton, which it would only be for 20 miles or so. I can live with that.
so we're splitting it up like interstate highways?
The Hubert H. Humphrey Memorial River in Minnesota
The Quad Cities ExpressRiver between IA and Illinois
The Missouri River north of STL
The Missourah River south of STL
The Riviere Huey Long-Sainte-Roux in LA
/Minnesota changes it to Mall of America River
/still the same shithole
//river collapses in on itself
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 3:55 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I could only wish.
The only contribution MoA has made to the betterment of Minnesota is providing an anchor to attract IKEA, IMO.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
How exactly does attracting IKEA make anything better?
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
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Support your local particle board industry.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 4:12 PM EST up reply actions
/local fish and wildlife relocate to the Los Angeles river
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 4:00 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Blue Start memorial river all over the place
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 4:51 PM EST up reply actions
The Missouri river is the longest river in North America.
2,341 miles. And that doesn’t count the distance from St. Louis to New Orleans.
by Albino Tornado on Feb 9, 2012 2:45 PM EST up reply actions
I thought it was 2540 miles long...
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 9, 2012 3:06 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
I think you've got the distances backwards the Mississippi is 2300 miles, the Missouri is over 2500.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Mississippi River: Why should I change? They're the ones who suck
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
by stempke on Feb 9, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
It's not the Mississippi River's fault that the state's a no-talent ass clown.
by Albino Tornado on Feb 9, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
First in Nobel Prizes for Literature
Last in literacy
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 4:52 PM EST up reply actions
They're on that already.
“The Mississippi Reagan”.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Follow @semicorrect
...
/spidery BP comment
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 1:39 PM EST up reply actions
Also
if Bayless is the Rantychrist, what does that make Stephen A. Smith?
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 1:39 PM EST reply actions
The Philly's Prophet, of course.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
by jonfmorse on Feb 9, 2012 1:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That is fantastically done
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
And upon his forehead was written: "HOWEVA"
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions 9 recs
Beabblebub
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
fuck, typo. Be-Babble-bub
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions
Beeblebrox?
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
if there's anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot right now.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions
enjoy your rec
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
ugh, I know Adams wrote it, but I can't get into the actual movie. It wasn't bad...
but the books were just magnificent and the movie wasn’t.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions
I would agree with that statement
with one caveat – having Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin was a very good choice.
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions
agreed, and I thought Sam Rockwell was a pretty good Zaphod.
Its probably better just to view the two as two entirely separate entities.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions
True dat.
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions
Was I the only one who actually pictured Zaphod having two heads side by side?
Because they way they did it in the movie freaked me the hell out, honestly.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
no, same here. Didn't freak me out, but not how I pictured it.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions
Some of the gags in the book just wouldn't translate well to the screen.
The narrative jokes, for instance. They missed a lot of opportunities with the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast. (On the other hand, there was one addition in the movie that was excellent – the POV Gun.)
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left-hand side.
Bradley-Terry rankings for college football and basketball: because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
the kardashian sisters
are on lines 1, 2 and 3.
"if they're still paying, you're still winning."
-my dad
still on t.v.
and that alone is terrible enough.
Hey, Skip. Go make me a sammich.
Oh, that’s right. You’re not even the best in your family at doing that.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Feb 9, 2012 1:48 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Crazy research discovery:
No Big East team has ever, while a member of the conference, lost in the NIT semifinals. Ever.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Oh, never mind. That's totally wrong.
I mis-pasted something.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
/applies for NBC Sports research position
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Feb 9, 2012 2:03 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
At least I can catch my errors before Bubbaprog manages to get them screencapped.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
but whats the fun in that
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions
I don't know about the semi-finals, but...
I do remember one of John Beilien’s teams beating Clemson for the NIT championship one year.
WVU fuckin’ Clemson: it ain’t just a one-time thang!
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
They HAVE never lost an NIT CHAMPIONSHIP game
but the sample size there is, uh, smaller.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
I am undefeated in duels.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 2:28 PM EST up reply actions
Allegedly
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
Twitter: @celebrityhottub - iPad spambots only, please!
by Run Home Jack on Feb 9, 2012 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
your mom!
/burrrrrrrrrrn
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
The fifth is also
Joe Namath’s and Kenny Stabler’s favorite amendment!
Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 9, 2012 4:19 PM EST up reply actions
There's no time
Football was filled with money and war
And some of us got trampled on the floor
I wish we’d all been ready
Programs died the days grew cold
A SEC ticket could buy a bag of gold
I wish we’d all been ready
There’s no time to change your mind
The SliveBot has come and you’ve been left behind
A man and wife asleep in bed
She hears a noise and turns her head he gone to see Bama
I wish we’d all been ready
Two men walking up Clemson’s hill
One disappears and one’s left standing still
I wish we’d all been ready
There’s no time to change your mind
The SliveBot has come and you’ve been left behind
Players died the days grew cold
A SEC ticket could buy a bag of gold
I wish we’d all been ready
There’s no time to change your mind
The SliveBot has come and you’ve been left behind
My boss wants to buy my baby
Wow - a Charlie Peacock/dcTalk reference on edsbs?
Seen it all, I have.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
The sequence of events goes as follows:
Austin Rivers did what he did → Man celebrates → Man spills drink → Drink lands on Friend’s mom → Friend’s dad took offense → Words were had → Punches were thrown → Bail was not posted
Don't have a grandson with a dog collar.
by thehakujin on Feb 9, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions 14 recs
and Green'd
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
I've always thought that the use of the word "undesirables" in that commercial suggests that someone from NDNation wrote it.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 3:41 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Don't have a Grandpa from NDNation....
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 9, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
NDNation would never have to worry about such petty concerns as paying for the cable
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Feb 9, 2012 3:52 PM EST up reply actions
Cable is just a means of disseminating vulgar SPORTS PROGRAMMIG
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 4:07 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
MTV is ok, though.
You can’t feature profane instruments if you don’t feature any instruments at all.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 4:09 PM EST up reply actions
Snooki is most certainly a profane instrument.
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 4:11 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 7 recs
rec'd that
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Green
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 4:55 PM EST up reply actions
S-trumpet.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 4:57 PM EST up reply actions
do instruments of torture count?
No plankton
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:10 PM EST up reply actions
That commercial pisses me off
[rant redacted because none of you care]
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I thought that undesirables would involve some kind of white wine drinkers
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 4:08 PM EST up reply actions
This week on FIRST WEEK IN...
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 9, 2012 3:01 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
No pinecone liquor was involved?
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions
Sort of hivemind.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
Fingerprints is took, days is lost, bail is made, court dates is ignored, cycle is repeated.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions
Such is life under Urban Meyer.
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 3:47 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
I got 99 problems but compliance aint one
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions
Epic NC sports radio troll today
would be to spend the first $TIME_INTERVAL discussing Tim Peel’s horrible non-call allowing Corey Perry to score the OTGWG against the Canes last night.
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
Imagine if last night didn't happen.
Whoa.
by Albino Tornado on Feb 9, 2012 2:47 PM EST up reply actions
I was hopped up on NyQuil so it may not have happened.
But what do you expect? When you raise up a young boy's hopes and then just crush 'em. Like so many paper beer cups.
I was hopped up on NyQuil so it may not have happened.
But what do you expect? When you raise up a young boy's hopes and then just crush 'em. Like so many paper beer cups.
do you guys know how to post videos to facebook?
by MGoEcon on Feb 9, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Yes. Yes it did.
/ packed Duke sweatshirt in briefcase this morning
// wore to lunch meeting
/// has two partners who are big Ram’s Club guys
//// heh heh heh
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
You should have taken them out for MLT sandwiches.
You know, where the mutton’s nice and lean.
by Albino Tornado on Feb 9, 2012 2:57 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Princess Bride rec
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
You can't trust that shit
Hell, they’ve even whitewashed Craig James’s crimes.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
UNLIMITED MIRTH!
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Feb 9, 2012 3:12 PM EST reply actions 16 recs
Justin Tuck should be flying down the slide head first, about to run both of them over
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
by stempke on Feb 9, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Or JPP or Osi, etc., etc.
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:21 PM EST up reply actions
JPP and Osi disappeared in the Superbowl. Tuck could have been the MVP
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
JPP had two clutch plays
where he batted passes down at the line, also with d-linemen it’s very difficult to really examine how good or bad a player really was when he doesn’t have a lot of stats, since oftentimes the guys who get no sacks play a big role in the success of the guys who do
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 9, 2012 3:29 PM EST up reply actions
Jpp also blocked potential game-tying FG in Dallas game
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions
cannot believe
i’m actually rec’ing this. sunuva!
"if they're still paying, you're still winning."
-my dad
I bet Skip Bayless only orders Samoas when he gets Girl Scout cookies.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 3:38 PM EST reply actions
FUCK SAMOAS
#TEAMTAGALONG
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Feb 9, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions
/ eats entire box of Thin Mints in one sitting
// diabeetus
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
///regrets nothing
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions
#TEAMTAGALOG
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 9, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
You know what even though Tagalongs are great fuck the Samoas haters
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 4:57 PM EST up reply actions
This would be one of the very few characteristics of Skip Bayless with which I would not find fault.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
#
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
When did we get Typhoon class boomers?
USA USA USA USA .
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, the submarine pictures might want to be flipped
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Feb 9, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
Not to nitpick
but the 2nd one is a Delta IV – also Soviet/Russian. Need an Ohio Class there for US, or whatever its replacement is.
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 4:07 PM EST up reply actions
That gif was made to make fun of the 7 idiots who sunk 2 Hummers in Lake Balaton on Monday
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
SOONER?
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Larry Fine?
But what do you expect? When you raise up a young boy's hopes and then just crush 'em. Like so many paper beer cups.
Paging Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard!
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 9, 2012 4:42 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Hey, Hungary once had a navy once!
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Feb 9, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
We sure did
All we got now is some stupid people
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
I knew people who actually poured one out for the last Habsburg
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Feb 9, 2012 4:32 PM EST up reply actions
Sir, are you going to watch the Austria-Hungary football match tonight?
“Perhaps, who are we playing?”-Otto von Habsburg
by MGoEcon on Feb 9, 2012 4:37 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Otto was well liked in Hungary
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
wrong nation
"Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the wife and kids" - Homer J. Simpson
by Gov. William J. Le Petomane on Feb 9, 2012 4:42 PM EST up reply actions
The leader of fascist Hungary during WWII was an admiral.
In a landlocked country.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 4:59 PM EST up reply actions
Well, he got his navy ranks when we still had the Adriatic sea, and a Navy
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
Yeah, he old.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
And your point about landlocked countries is???
I’ve done work for the Navies of both Bolivia and Paraguay. Let that settle in a moment.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Lago Poopo must be defended!
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
Like Civ 2 when the computer would build ships on landlocked lakes.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
I just spent 6 turns building a battleship, and you put it there?!? FURK!
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
/go onto map
//build small river
/// build all the materials
///all the mountains around enemies
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
BUT YOU'RE NOT EYEING THAT LAKE ANYMORE, ARE YOU, SMART GUY?
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
/cruise missile
//cruise missile
///cruise missile
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:16 PM EST up reply actions
Furk.
Trade Rocketry for cow?
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:17 PM EST up reply actions
/demands 2000 gold in tribute
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:22 PM EST up reply actions
Reaches end game behind on tech
/threatened with Nuclear Weapons every turn
If all sports fandom is a form of emotional gambling, football is poker and hockey is Russian roulette.
I reached the Mun in 1949 AD the other night.
Felt so l33t.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions
You drive a hard bargain.
Rocketry for cow AND banana.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:23 PM EST up reply actions
SOLD
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:23 PM EST up reply actions
HAHA JOKE IS ON YOU
NOW I MAKE BANANA SPLIT
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions
/Predator drone out of nowhere
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:17 PM EST up reply actions
And the Paraná and Pantanal
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Awwww how cute....another UM fan with a below average IQ
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
Text I just got from my bartender
“Middle aged woman at the end of the bar orders Chicken BLT salad, asks for no bacon, is pissed because we don’t have peppercorn ranch dressing and threatened to leave when informed we don’t have Coors Light, proceeds to order single most complicated martini on the menu…. Permission to stir drink with week old fish?”
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
by stempke on Feb 9, 2012 4:14 PM EST reply actions 5 recs
Permission Granted
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
I'm impressed with the restraint. As I was reading "week old fish" was not how I thought that sentence was ending.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Indiana is coming.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 4:15 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
My response "Offer to use regular ranch dressing and mix in some unground peppercorns for her"
that was apparently sufficient but not after a big sigh.
I’m picturing this woman as the worst of every Midwest stereotype
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
You let your bartenders text while on duty? That shit would've gotten me written up when I was slinging.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
It's 3 pm on a Thursday
She’s probably the only person in the bar.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
You're apparently a boss with perspective.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
I guess you could use "perspective" if you want
Remember, I’m an investment banker at heart, everything is a cost benefit analysis. For me, I’d much rather have employees that treat customers well, not only for the tips, but because they legitimately want to see the restaurant succeed. If the cost of that is not being an overbearing dick, that’s an easy tradeoff.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I totally agree and that was meant as a compliment.
To contrast that. the manager at my old place of employment would go apeshit if he saw an employee texting, even if the place was totally empty and all work was done. He even got on me once for checking my phone in the kitchen before my shift had started.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
Don't get me wrong, the second that it becomes a problem, I'll turn into a dictator so fast their heads will spin.
Judging by the amount of “alumni” that leave for real jobs and end up drinking here on the weekends, I think I’m a pretty good boss.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I think the 'Communication With Boss' exemption comes into play here....
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Not really, obviously I'd prefer them not to screw around at work, but I tend to operate under the "don't piss me off and don't cost me money" principle
If it’s slow, I fail to see how texting is any different than watching TV. If it’s busy and your wasting time, then you’re angering customers and you’re not going to have a job long.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
you got time to lean.........
…….you prolly know the rest
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
It probably wouldn't be in a back room. The whole bar has wifi
The same prinicple would apply. If there’s work to be done, I expect it done. If you got some down time (and there isn’t something that needs to be stocked or cleaned) I don’t care.
The best part of this policy is when the waitresses all pour their money right back into the bar by sitting at the video poker machines
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Curious - what cut do you get from the video poker?
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
we used to split it 50/50
I’m assuming he means the games that do not pay out.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Feb 9, 2012 4:47 PM EST up reply actions
Technically, they're "for entertainment only" but they do pay out.
Each bar negotiates the cut with the vending company. I get 65% of the net, which would probably be about the same as 50% of the gross.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
interesting
we had the video poker/bar game deal. no payouts. just a way for people with a buzz to kill some time and give their money away.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Feb 9, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions
And this is how stempke discovered he employed Van Pelt
by ItsComplicated on Feb 9, 2012 4:36 PM EST up reply actions
Shit, I used to smoke and drink behind the bar
Working at non-corporates can be pretty sweet.
Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 9, 2012 4:27 PM EST up reply actions
You should have sent him/her a text back that said: tl;dr
by ding ding ding on Feb 9, 2012 4:36 PM EST up reply actions
That's the challenge of employing mostly college students
Buried in the joking and complaining was a legitimate question on how to deal with an unruly customer. I’ve become relatively good at reading between the lines.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I'm curious
on how bad your bartender got stiffed on the tip by this horrid customer.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
this, the worst customers never tip
never, especially the hyper specific ones.
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:14 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I used to be super nice to those people...
…and at least hope they’d feel like assholes for not tipping.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
exactly.
“AH CAINT TASTE THE LIKKER IN THIS DRANK!”
“… You ordered a frozen margarita. Isn’t that the point?”
“AH WANNA NOTHER WUN. FREE.”
/sigh
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 9, 2012 5:21 PM EST up reply actions
It might make me a bad businessman
But If they automatically asked for a free replacement, I’d go on and cut them off on principle. I may offer to put in maybe a little more liquor into the drink for them, but the freeloader types who expect free shit really bug me.
/doesn’t count if they don’t automatically go to the ‘git me another and it better be on the house’ route.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions
for those types
i just usually loaded the straw on the next drink & shorted the rest of the drink.
these arent usually your ‘jack & coke’ folks. its the people ordering frozen & fruity drinks. drove me crazy b/c the whole point of those types of drinks is to not taste the liquor.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 9, 2012 5:46 PM EST up reply actions
I have heard of this, but always wondered how you loaded the straw without being noticed.
It’s hard to tell a bartender there isn’t enough alcohol in your straigh bourbon though.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 6:08 PM EST up reply actions
The best you can hope for is that, if it's someone by themselves, they'll feel guilted into tipping decently.
If they’re in a group, you’re fucked.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:23 PM EST up reply actions
I hate going out with groups for exactly this reason.
I’m a good tipper in most circumstances, but there is always someone who conveniently ignores the tax/tip portion of their bill and makes the group as a whole look like a bunch of cheapasses.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions
I don't get this.
If you’re with other people, aren’t you MORE likely to be embarrassed by not tipping?
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Not if you're a bad tipper, and you hang out with other bad tippers.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:30 PM EST up reply actions
I must not have any of those shitty people for friends.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
douchebags travel in packs
and with each one added the douchier they get
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:33 PM EST up reply actions
The mentality is that everyone's going to kick in, so someone else will compensate for my crappy tip.
And then on one does, and server gets stiffed.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:35 PM EST up reply actions
Yup. And those people will be the first ones who tabulate every item on the bill.
But only add up their portion of the subtotal. I’ve even had to deal with situations where those people see me overpay by a few dollars and ‘make change’ by taking the extra on top that I put in for themselves.
Also, nothing like ordering two slices of pizza for 5 bucks, order your drinks at the bar, then have the half of the group that was ordering pitchers of margaritas at the table run out to ’pick up the tickets and just split everything evenly on the cards.
Hello I paid $32 extra to subsidize your liquor bill, then you have the gall to meet me immediately when we get to the show that I owe you $12 for the ticket you picked up before we even make it out of the car.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:43 PM EST up reply actions
SO SO SO MUCH THIS
I didn’t order threeve drinks. I’m not paying for them.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:50 PM EST up reply actions
And those particular people wonder why I always hung out with other work people after that.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 6:09 PM EST up reply actions
See my post above; the server is able to pinpoint who the cheapskate is if they're alone.
In a group where one person shorts everyone, it can be harder to figure out who is cheap, and they can hide behind the anonymity of the group.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:32 PM EST up reply actions
Diffusion of responsibility!
A persistent psychological phenomenon.
Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 9, 2012 5:34 PM EST up reply actions
Yup. Groups of people I used to hang out with.
Always wonder why I never go to the bar with them and when I show up, I’m with a different group and just happen to bump into them rather than go with them.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:35 PM EST up reply actions
Oblig
“I don’t tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I’ll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned, they’re just doing their job.”
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
by jonfmorse on Feb 9, 2012 5:41 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I told you not to go to NDNation.
It’s not safe.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:42 PM EST up reply actions
/ travels to France
// offended that service is included in the bill
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
///travels to Japan
////complains that cost of meal is high, because service industry workers are actually paid decent wages.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:46 PM EST up reply actions
//// travels to Norway
///// cost of meal makes Tokyo look cheap
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
/eyes narrow, fists clench
I could understand if waiters made a regular salary but they are payed less and rely on tips, so it would be great you arrogant cockbags can shell out a measly 10-20% to pay us our goddamned salary for putting up with your shit. Seriously fuck you, fuck you’re special order, fuck you’re whiny wife, and have a good goddamned day.
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:44 PM EST up reply actions
That's not his actual opinion, I'm fairly sure.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:46 PM EST up reply actions
no almost certainly not
thus the quotes, I am attacking the sort of person he is quoting
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:47 PM EST up reply actions
The movie was released in 1991 I think.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 6:10 PM EST up reply actions
this doesn't mean I haven't heard the quote
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 6:12 PM EST up reply actions
Just razzing you.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions
oh, alright
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 6:17 PM EST up reply actions
I mean he didn't get shot, somehow escaped custody, and ended up working as Buddy Holly at JackRabbit Slim's.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 6:24 PM EST up reply actions
and on top off that as someone under sixteen I earn even less than those other bastards and do all the shit work they won't
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:46 PM EST up reply actions
Remember this in the future, padawan.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:49 PM EST up reply actions
everyone should work in a service industry just once
the empathy growth is astounding
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:51 PM EST up reply actions
i cant remember which comedian said it
but it was something along the lines of:
“once out of highschool, everyone should have to spend a year waiting tables or driving a taxi.”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 9, 2012 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
waiting tables is good for patience
plus selling christmas trees
it’s cold as fuck, I’m getting paid even less than waiters, and I carry these trees you and you’re spherically shaped family clearly cannot, I am using a saw that was last sharpened in the Reagan era, and you can’t spare a five.
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:57 PM EST up reply actions
In my experience
it’s an important lesson in how not to treat people.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 9, 2012 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
opposite of ol' Dale Carnegie, eh?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 9, 2012 5:54 PM EST up reply actions
When fuckers talk shit you gotta punch 'em in the dick.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 4:41 PM EST up reply actions
"Indian giver!" --Isaac
To the empowerage of words!
by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 9, 2012 4:41 PM EST reply actions
"And today on First Take...we are glad to have the voice of Notre Dame football, Mr. Tom Hammond, debating our very own Skip Bayless"
“First topic: Kobe vs. LeBron and how Troy Aikman relates”
Punting is winning.
by The Assman 1 on Feb 9, 2012 4:54 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
recflag?
"Is this safe?"
"Mmmmm. . . .. no."
by ResearchSkins on Feb 9, 2012 5:02 PM EST up reply actions
This made up Bayless comment is absolutely true,though....
I THINK—AND HE WILL AGREE WHEN HE HEARS THIS—THAT CHRIS BOSH IS A 15 YEAR OLD AGORAPHOBIC GIRL WITH A HORMONE DISORDER.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
No, he's an alien.
1974 Division II National Champions
1979, 1980, 1990, 1994, 2006, 2007, 2009 MAC Champions
by alexanderkotov on Feb 9, 2012 5:14 PM EST up reply actions
!!!!!!!!
Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 9, 2012 5:31 PM EST up reply actions 11 recs
I will never not rec this
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
Needs more Jimmy Clausen
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 5:33 PM EST up reply actions
Coached by a stuffed tiger only he can see.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Feb 9, 2012 5:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Look, I'm an ND fan,
and even I am insulted on Calvin’s behalf.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:41 PM EST up reply actions
Thank you, Old Lady Japanese Professor.
Because what I really needed was the prospect of pop-quizzes to force me to waste my time daily on your class, rather than being able to prioritize my other classes and other obligations and focus on inane memorization immediately before the scheduled tests. No, really, I appreciate the handholding this indicates I must obviously need.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
shit I haven't had a pop quiz in three years
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:31 PM EST up reply actions
this is a post-4th year reading class.
We shouldn’t even have tests—we should be writing essays. But pop quizzes should be left behind in 2nd year.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:40 PM EST up reply actions
I agree there
I have yet to have one since middle school
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:41 PM EST up reply actions
Algebra III / Trig teacher dropped a pop quiz 2nd week of class
We were scared shitless the rest of the year each time he said “close your books.” Even though he never spreang another unannounced one.
i can sympathize.
my ceramics professor is threatening pop quizzes because of low attendance (newsflash, dude, people dropped your class because it is unbelievably boring). i don’t get ANYTHING out of lecture, he goes through the slides too fast for me to write everything down then refuses to post the powerpoints online. a pop quiz isnt going to reward me for actually going to your godforsaken class everyday if i have no idea whats going on.
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Feb 9, 2012 5:44 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
We have sign-in sheets for attendance in my art history class.
So here I am.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:48 PM EST up reply actions
honestly i'd rather have that than hurr durr come to class i might give you a pop quiz you could fail anyways
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Feb 9, 2012 5:49 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
On the bright side,
today’s lecture is on 18th century Japanese porn.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:51 PM EST up reply actions
so basically japan went fuck all crazy in the 1980's and it ain't coming back
also all off the {REDACTED FOR SAKE OF MENTAL HEALTH}
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
Um....huh?
18th century = 1700’s. We’re looking at woodblock prints. One of them is quite hilarious—it’s a guy holding a picture scroll of people getting it on, trying to get his ladyfriend to check it out, and she’s blushing. You can see what he’s thinking—“Hey baby, check this out” and she’s like “OMG perv lol”
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:55 PM EST up reply actions
no I get that
what I’m saying is that their old stuff must be… interesting
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 5:57 PM EST up reply actions
And now we've moved on to pictures of samurai with giant dongs.
I think I need an adult.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:58 PM EST up reply actions
Dongs by Masamune
But what do you expect? When you raise up a young boy's hopes and then just crush 'em. Like so many paper beer cups.
Sig line number trending down.
Nice work, sir.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Getting there.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 5:55 PM EST up reply actions
Congrats!
I started working on my winter bulge last week.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
That's a good one.
And possibly early inspiration for Orangina ads.
I started at 221.6. I'm now 214.2. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast
by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 9, 2012 6:01 PM EST up reply actions
All the tenticles?
ALL THE TENTICLES
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 6:13 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
All the tenticles?
ALL THE TENTICLES
by Mango Stasi on Feb 9, 2012 6:13 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
and I will go get my eye bleach
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Feb 9, 2012 6:14 PM EST up reply actions
Couldn't he just grade everyone on the piece they threw in class that day?
Oh . . . wait. Never mind.
/ not an engineer
// DevilBro has an MFA in ceramics
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Reply fail. Furk.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
haha..if this was meant for me..my mom keeps asking if i'm making her a vase.
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Feb 9, 2012 5:50 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
It was. My skills are lousy.
When our cousin got married, Devil Bro (the starving artist) made her and her husband a place-setting for four. All I could do was offer to write them a kick-ass memo. Sigh.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
(skims Curious Index)
Rutgers and Syracuse might play twice next year?
How will this not result in irreparable economic damage to the country from shutting down its largest city for two days in the fall?
A Michigan Man may only marvel at the sea of maize and blue on Saturdays, or the face of the Lord himself. Impress the world, but be not impressed by it.
They're playing in Lubbock?
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 6:19 PM EST up reply actions
Is B1G a common abbreviation for Big 10 or is EDSBS leaking again?
Tweet from @finebaum
Feldman,’It’s good for them (B1G) to look proactive. It’s been frustrating to see one conference dominate the last 6 years.’
But what do you expect? When you raise up a young boy's hopes and then just crush 'em. Like so many paper beer cups.
It's convenient.
Because otherwise you get into semantics about how the Big Ten has twelve teams and the Big Twelve has ten teams and how does that make any sense, anyway.
A Michigan Man may only marvel at the sea of maize and blue on Saturdays, or the face of the Lord himself. Impress the world, but be not impressed by it.
That's what the new logo looks like, so nearly everyone has made that joke at least once.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Sabor con Fuego
spicy tuna and jalapeno roll. With sirachi on top.
If I make it thru tonight I think I will be paying tomorrow.
the secret ingredient is ... love?!
Amateur hour here.
One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.Batman switched on his Batjet's Bat Sound Absorber and it neutralized all of their hypnotic music.
by Socrates Johnson on Feb 9, 2012 7:22 PM EST up reply actions
No denying that.
the secret ingredient is ... love?!
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