A FIELD GUIDE TO MEMPHIS FOOTBALL AND MEMPHIS MEMPHISING
by Spencer Hall on Feb 8, 2012 1:59 PM EST
Email
PrintThe Big East has now acquired Memphis. By this reading, they have purchased the entire city, which may be a tragic mistake on the part of the Big East since they have never been to Memphis. And now we get to the full disclosure portion of the program.
The state of Tennessee is a tripartite state operating as a single unit. This loose alliance is based on a common love of pork, a shared scathing dry country wit, and a simmering hatred of others less approximate than local others. We grew up in Middle Tennessee looking down on Memphis because we were taught to, and also because when we went there everything smelled like burning tires outside of a few barbecue joints. Also, they killed MLK and Elvis. This is actually in Tennessee state history textbooks, along with a coupon for a free honey bun at the Starvin' Marvin after the chapter on Johnny . Which one? The one up yonder. You know the one.
That said, let's quickly review the history that led us here, and why Memphis to the Big East is definitely an addition to the conference, and a place they will play sports in from now on.
BARBECUE SERPENTS
Memphis was founded by a ball of evil snakes made of delectable pork barbecue. Migrating from St. Louis, they landed on a wrecked riverboat named "The Colonel Tobias P. Shiftless,' and promptly began trading in the three goods that make up the Memphisian economy to this day: barbecue, cotton, and yellow fever. The Spaniards living there were slaughtered shortly after the arrival of the evil barbecue serpents, thus marking the beginning of another Memphis tradition.
Barbecue serpents remain influential in Memphisian politics to this day.
Memphis fell under the sway of machine politics after yellow fever decimated the city in the 1880s. Talking mules ruled the unruly city for fifty years after this, instituting an order and cleanliness so impressive William Faulkner decided to set his sensational rape fantasy Sanctuary in the city. The talking mules were then deposed by Jerry Lee Lewis, whose wildly unpopular "Pyramid of Human Skulls" initiative drove much business investment to Nashville and beyond. He left out of boredom in 1981.
The city has been ruled by madman and Fed Ex head Fred Smith ever since. He founded the University of Memphis in 1998 as a drive-through liquor stand and laundromat that added classes in order to garner non-profit status. Fred Smith is a great guy, and we say that because he has a lot of money, and don't want people with lots of money not to give us some if we need it someday. He is also a madman. We don't hold that against him.
Jon Calipari may have been there at one point. The entire city is scrubbed clean of fingerprints every night, so we will never be sure of this.
CULTURAL ACHIEVEMENTS
Memphis has appeared in many films and novels. The Firm, The Rainmaker, and The Client portrayed the city as a hive of humid decrepit villainy tinged with genteel manners, while Hustle and Flow decided to focus on the city's other side as a hive of humid decrepit villainy tinged with poverty. The tv show Memphis Beat brought a new angle to the city's unique identity, showing the police dealing with the hive of humid decrepit villainy tinged with genteel manners in a slightly more humorous light. Memphis has appeared in many movies and novels.
SPORTS HISTORY
The Memphis football program has been ranked once in the AP top 25 in the history of the program. They also beat Tennessee once back in the 90s. Zach Randolph is the greatest athlete in the history of the city, and possibly one of its greatest covert entrepreneurs.
Once, Memphis coach Tommy West almost beat Jackie Sherrill's ass at midfield after a game.
This marks the peak of Memphisian athletics. There is literally nothing else to know about Memphis sports. Trust us.
SINGLE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT AS A CITY
It's a tie.
...or this:
DID THESE COME WITH THE PURCHASE OF MEMPHIS? We don't think so.
WAS THIS A MISTAKE? If 8Ball and MJG are on board? ABSOLUTELY NOT. If not, then yes, this most likely was a mistake. But in a conference of demographic mistakes forced by the expansion of other conferences into all the good choices, this bad choice may be one of the least bad choices the Big East could make.
All but the final paragraph is taken verbatim from "TENNESSEE: A STATE THAT DON'T LIKE TO TALK MUCH SO SHUT UP AND READ THIS HERE." Tennessee State Publications, 1978, without revisions including "Black People Parts Added After All That Hollerin' Y'all Did About The Damned Textbook And All."
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The role of "Memphis" in "Memphis Heat" is played by film veteran New Orleans.
Which has also been recently seen during the Super Bowl in the role of “Detroit,” and in “Green Lantern” as “No one cares because no one saw that movie.”
by Nabb1 on Feb 8, 2012 2:10 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
Roads/places to avoid in Memphis:
Danny Thomas Blvd.
Orange Mound
Frasier
Parkway. North and South.
If it’s mentioned in a 3 Six Mafia song.
Brooks Road.
Summer Avenue
You will get horrifically confused by the 240 loop. Go to Dyer’s on Beale for the best burger in the city.
Enjoy your Memphis acquisition, Big East. Memphis is a bit ghetto, but that’s the charm.
by Stow It Buck on Feb 8, 2012 2:11 PM EST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Roads/places to avoid in Memphis (fixed):
Memphis
by kizzak on Feb 8, 2012 2:20 PM EST up reply actions 12 recs
Grew up in Memphis. You mentioned a number of great places to risk your life and limb...
I am somewhat hurt that you did not mention my old stopping grounds of Raleigh or lovely Fox Meadows that housed the now razed Mall of Memphis affectionately known as the Mall of Murder.
The last time my father played golf was in the mid 80’s at Davy Crockett in the pastoral Frayser area. A nice gentleman of the crack-head persuasion attempted to acquire funds from my father and two of his old Navy buddies by wielding a broken coke bottle. Said request was denied with all deliberate speed by a 5 iron. The public golf courses of Memphis where a pistol is a key accessory to your golf bag.
MEMPHIS. IS. A. SHITHOLE.
by RLBruceDickinson on Feb 8, 2012 10:32 PM EST up reply actions
Saw a "Hickory Ridge Mall Security" sticker on a white pickup
yesterday at my bank. I LOL’d
You sit on a throne of lies.
by Mel Kiper, Sr. on Feb 9, 2012 10:49 AM EST up reply actions
Streets to avoid in Memphis or any other city:
Martin Luther King BLVD….Rev AL Sharpton Freeway, Jesse Jackson Heights…
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 3:49 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
RACISM IS FUN!
OH GOD THE SPIDERS
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions
Please spare me "the racist" BS....
This joke comes from Chris Rock, if I must start leaving footnotes on all comments…“if you want to see some violence, there is ALWAYS some violence going on on MLK Blvd, even though the man stood for non-violence!” Chris Rock Stand Up Tour-Biloxi, 1998.
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 4:19 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
And yet, you added the Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson parts
So you spare us the “I’m just quoting Chris Rock” BS
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
That would be Chris Tucker, you want the clip in avi form too?
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 4:33 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Come on....
It was a joke, not intended to offend anyone. would it be different if PelicanPants were black?
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 8, 2012 4:33 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
Yeah, it would, but you know that
If you wouldn’t tell the joke in mixed company in person, without looking over your shoulder or making it completely obvious you’re quoting someone, you probably shouldn’t tell it here either without the same courtesy.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Mixed company?
What in the hell is mixed company?
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 8, 2012 4:44 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
A group of people from varying backgrounds and life experiences
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
well doesn't everyone have different backgrounds and life experiences?
so saying “mixed” is redundant, wouldn’t you say.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 8, 2012 4:49 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
Now you're being facetious or intentionally obtuse
You know very well that by background I meant ethnic, religious, and racial backgrounds
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I will now stop watching Chris Rock
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 4:58 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Sigh
I never said that you shouldn’t watch Chris Rock, or even that you shouldn’t quote him. Merely that when making a quote that has the potential to be as inflammatory as racial jokes can be, it’s best to make it clear that you’re quoting someone else.
The joke would not have had any less of an effect had you said “As Chris Rock says…” It would have prevented this whole thing. The joke still would have been questionable, but you, yourself, wouldn’t have been accused of racism.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
What's the capital of Zaire?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
See, he made the joke, pointed out the reference and didn't piss anybody off
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I'm offended
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 8, 2012 6:37 PM EST up reply actions
Why? Are you related to Mobutu Sese Seko?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
claro
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 8, 2012 6:43 PM EST up reply actions
I hope you're not labeling pelicanpants racist because he's from the south...
he could’ve been schooled down here and you know how southern schools are.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 8, 2012 5:08 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
I'm part Indian, so taking arrows to the knee like this is nothing new...
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 4:53 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
You people...-"Tropic Thunder"
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 4:51 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Mo' Tussin
Put some water in the bottle. Shake it up. Mo’ tussin!
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I did not rec it
But I will add that, racism aside, it does appear that almost everywhere I’ve been in the south streets with MLK’s name are sadly in some of the most run-down areas of town. I don’t know if that’s because of lingering racism from when the streets were renamed originally and the town leaders purposely chose the streets to be in these areas or if it’s for other reasons. The socio-economic conversation that would likely lead to is obviously very spidery.
As for the other names he gave, I offer no excuse or explanation.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 4:04 PM EST up reply actions
In contrast, in Minnesota, both the state capitol and state supreme court are on MLK Boulevard in St. Paul.
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions
Would YOU have wanted to piss off Alan Page?
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
perhaps
the names were suggested as part of an optimistic plan for a turn around in said areas
all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness
by Tike the Miger on Feb 8, 2012 6:41 PM EST up reply actions
I would like to believe this is the case
So this is what I am now going to claim.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 8:02 PM EST up reply actions
Someone must have changed their mind then and you've refreshed after me. There's definitely a rec showing on my screen
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
For the record, most borderline jokes about race..
Are made by Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle and 1000 other comedians on the “Showtime at the Apollo”…You won’t see the same jokes being made by The Blue Collar Tour, but I will reference all future references so you can email your thoughts on the matter to the source.
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 4:31 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
This "apology" is almost as half-assed as that Boston sports columnist's "apology" from Tuesday morning.
@papaalphakilo
The people who suggest Brian Kelly should not curse are the reason the rest of us created profanities. - Spencer Hall
by PAK on Feb 8, 2012 4:53 PM EST up reply actions
The three guys you mentioned are funnier than you. They could make cracks about someone raping my dead mother's corpse and I'd still be laughing.
Rule number one about making offensive jokes: be damn sure they’re funny before you even think about attempting them.
by Mango Stasi on Feb 8, 2012 6:47 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Funny thing Mango, I didn't originate these jokes, they are from those guys, so write them a letter asking them to apologize for making fun of their own people in an offensive manner...
Or write lyrics to Waka Flocka or Ice Cube or NWA inflammatory rhetoric known as “Gansta” rap, just because I know the lyrics doesn’t make me a racist? And it ain’t no apology, just pointing out facts from those comedians material…
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 9:05 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Graceland.
No, really. Just avoid it.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Truth
I go to the U of M and you definitely wanna stay away from Whitehaven/Oakhaven region
"We couldn't score in a whorehouse with a fist full of twenties.....On nickel night." -attributed to E. Cantler
by BAMA Boy, Memphis MAN on Feb 10, 2012 11:25 AM EST up reply actions
Place to eat
the Cozy Corner
serious barbeque – worth the find
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Feb 8, 2012 7:20 PM EST up reply actions
Roads/places to avoid in Memphis:
Danny Thomas Blvd.
Orange Mound
Frasier
Parkway. North and South.
If it’s mentioned in a 3 Six Mafia song.
Brooks Road.
Summer Avenue
You will get horrifically confused by the 240 loop. Go to Dyer’s on Beale for the best burger in the city.
Enjoy your Memphis acquisition, Big East. Memphis is a bit ghetto, but that’s the charm.
by Stow It Buck on Feb 8, 2012 2:11 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Any you guys know how to facelift bar?
Ask me about the death of five hookers and how Craig James was allegedly involved.
by IsayPetrinoYouSayPaterno on Feb 8, 2012 2:41 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
God the 240 loop is horrific
Walnut Grove around CBHS used to be a nightmare in morning rush hour
"Lopez wants it away, and it's hit deep to left center, Andruw Jones on the run, this one has a chance... home run!, Mike Piazza!, and the Mets lead 3 to 2!"
Fuckin' brilliant!
Although, I do have a soft spot in my heart for the city. I went to Navy Tech School at Millington in 1974 and spent many a weekend night chasing Memphis co-eds around Overton Square. My black roommate took me down to the blues bars on Beale Street at a time when white folk weren’t normally seen there. It was glorious.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
I, too, have a soft spot for Memphis as I have a lot of relatives there.
We often spend our hurrications in Memphis when we have to evacuate.
Me too in 1989... was the Brass Rail still there back in the day?
VA-22/VFA-22….USS Enterprise/USS Lincoln, CAG-11
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 8, 2012 3:52 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I remember a Brass Rail, but wasn't it in Millington?
The places I remember from Overton Square were The Hot Air Ballon, The Bombay Bicycle Club, and our favorite starting spot, the very first franchised T.G.I Friday’s.
VA-34 / CVW-1 / CV-67 [1975-1978]
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
When you consider that many of the early American settlers of Texas were actually the truly insane cream skimmed off the top of the homogenous
Insanity Milk that was the people of Tennessee in the 1810s or so, a host of Truths becomes clear to you, Native Texan descendant of those same crazy Milk People.
Or something.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
More Tennesseans died at the Alamo than any other states's residents/landgrabbers
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
"The scorching deathheat is nice and all, but there's just too much natural scenery."
“Let’s go to Texas.”
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 2:32 PM EST up reply actions 10 recs
Didnt Maurice Jones-Drew play for Mumphus?
/trollface
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
Point of order
Of all the different types of BBQ in our great nation, only two styles are named after cities: KC and Memphis styles. That is a great accomplishment. Also, in Faulkner’s The Reviers, the destination for the car-napping wanderlusters was Memphis, a city of full of whorehouses, bar fights, and other cultural mainstays. Considering Nawlins was equidistant yet Faulkner chose to send his agonists to Memphis is further proof of the city’s, ummm, notoriety.
Further, St. Jude’s is in Memphis. That is a noble enterprise, and more than makes up for assasinations, ODs, midtown, Germantown, FedEx, and Mud Island. And Memphis in May is pretty cool. Ol’ Man River, y’all.
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
.
________________________________
"Laugh about things, and stop wishing you won state when you were 30 years younger." -- B. Brian, Purple Y Ranch, October 2009
by Holly Anderson on Feb 8, 2012 2:19 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Oh 90s, making us all want to go where Zack Morris had gone before.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Don't know why that posted twice.
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
Those were some of the best. Leah Remini was tight, so very tight.
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
"Memphis in May is pretty cool"
HUGE understatement there, brah.
Shakerag in June is pretty fuckin’ neato, too.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
The BBQ contest is awesome.
The Music Fest would be awesome if Mud Iskand didn’t turn into a mud pit and if it didn’t rain buckets every single year.
by Stow It Buck on Feb 8, 2012 2:28 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
So, that week they were ranked..
Was that during the DeAngelo Williams era?
Donate to my Movember-- I poorly grow, so support my Mo'.
http://www.movember.com/m/22481
Mempis leaves C-USA and joins......C-USA
Way to go, Mempians!
West Virginia fans hate everybody. They remember every snub and joke and bit of snark. And they never forgive, and they never, ever forget. In other words, they're a lot like West Virginians in general.
by Kid Tenderloin on Feb 8, 2012 2:19 PM EST reply actions 9 recs
just realized that UAB fans might not be too happy
they had something of a rivalry with Memphis in BBall
People who live in glass houses should not hang out with Charles Barkley.
Stache pic upgraded to Championship mode
At first I read "dry country wit" as "dry county wit."
I was confused, because such a thing does not exist. Anywhere.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 2:21 PM EST reply actions
You! Soon! Huggins crane-kick!
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Come at me bro.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Corporate sleazeball vs Hillbilly scumbag
Two men enter, no one wins
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I'm coming at you, and I ain't your bro, sucka
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
You're not alone frien
I also read it that way as well.
Ask me about the death of five hookers and how Craig James was allegedly involved.
by IsayPetrinoYouSayPaterno on Feb 8, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
This shocks and somewhat saddens me
Great music, great food, slightly ’hood… how is this not a Spencer type of town? And this is before we get into the wonderful degeneracy that is $3 craps tables in Tunica.
And any mention of Memphis sports history that doesn’t add Larry Fitch is horrendous. The man rocked more gold chains than Mr. T, couldn’t ever get through an airport post 9/11 he was so bling, and won basketball games too. RIP Larry.
Editor, Voodoofive.com. The Toughest Blog In America.
Finch, not Fitch, obv.
Editor, Voodoofive.com. The Toughest Blog In America.
by Collin Sherwin on Feb 8, 2012 2:26 PM EST up reply actions
slightly hood?
Ask me about the death of five hookers and how Craig James was allegedly involved.
by IsayPetrinoYouSayPaterno on Feb 8, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
Won't be losing to Marshall anymore
Everybody’s favorite homecoming opponent.
West Virginia fans hate everybody. They remember every snub and joke and bit of snark. And they never forgive, and they never, ever forget. In other words, they're a lot like West Virginians in general.
never gets old
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Cool Picture...
I’m sure UAB appreciates it.
by k00laid on Feb 8, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
and thassa rec
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
the guy getting slapped on the right certainly doesnt.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions
Cultural Acheivements pt 2
Pioneers in research and testing in the field of “protective instincts”
Last Bull Out
the tripartite thing isn't an exaggeration
By law, the five-member Tenneessee Supreme Court must have at least one, but no more than two, members from each of West, Middle, and East Tennessee.
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
Follow the thread
West TN diet: BBQ and catfish
Mid TN diet: catfish and deer
East TN Diet: deer and raccoon
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
And who can forget when Fred Smith tried to get his son to be starting QB?
And the time FedEx made a two and a half hour commercial for their company that starred Tom Hanks and a volleyball.
WIIIIIILLLLLLSOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!
by Stow It Buck on Feb 8, 2012 2:29 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Remember that time he named his son "Cannon" and completely jinxed his football career?
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
star safety!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 2:34 PM EST up reply actions
According to Manetho, Memphis was actually founded by the pharaoh Menes c. 3000 BCE.
/youseewhatIdidthere?
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
Cairo waves from upriver.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Zach randolph
True story, dude got arrested and suspended for the state tournament his junior year of high school for selling guns out of the trunk of his car int he high school parking lot. Marion, Indiana is not exactly a hotbed of illegal activity, either,
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
The servers are ranched up again, I'm guessing
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe
Per CBS’ Brett McMurphy, “Temple thought it would receive the Big East’s invitation and was stunned the Big East invited Memphis.”
bwahahahahahaha
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
/ MAC reinvites Temple
// for football only
/// FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Maybe if Temple could,
I don’t know, WIN THE FUCKING MAC JUST ONCE, they might get a closer look from the Big East, rather than being trapped in a hick conference they’ve always thought themselves too good for.
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions
That conversation between West and Sherrill proved just how much of a "yankee" I really am.
I didn’t understand one fucking word of it.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
its ok.
they were both drunk.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions
The old Pyramid arena is now a giant Bass Pro Shop
by ben_in_dc on Feb 8, 2012 2:51 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
What a shitty, shitty place
Except for Pharaohs games
"Lopez wants it away, and it's hit deep to left center, Andruw Jones on the run, this one has a chance... home run!, Mike Piazza!, and the Mets lead 3 to 2!"
Since when is Faro a business?
I said poker’s an honest trade. Only suckers buck the tiger, the odds are all on the house.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
by stempke on Feb 8, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
a giant sinking Bass Pro Shop
you forgot that part.
Ask me about the death of five hookers and how Craig James was allegedly involved.
by IsayPetrinoYouSayPaterno on Feb 8, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions
Yep.
The Pyramid is slowly sinking into the river.
by Stow It Buck on Feb 8, 2012 3:03 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Come west to Long Beach for all your athletic pyramidal needs!
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
Needs more giant flashlight on top
/Luxor’d
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
She said, "tell me, are you in a BCS conference, child?".
And I said, MA’AM I AM TONIGHT!
by Nick's Hat Band on Feb 8, 2012 2:54 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
Which reminds me
Do not tarnish Bruce Springsteen’s good name by saying he sang “Walking in Memphis”
Not nearly as good as...
…Neil Diamond’s “Born in the USA”
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions
I liked Springsteen better...........
………..when he went by John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band
Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!
Bruce Springsteen doesn't "sing"
as much as he moans, warbles, croaks, utters, and wheezes. Even Bob Dylan sounds better now.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 8, 2012 7:20 PM EST up reply actions
You forgot the KING of Memphis...
Show ye thy fealty, and present unto him underage wenches and Championship belts.
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:01 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Yes, but isn't this like signing a big contract with WCW right before they went under?
Free at last!
Duh
That’s why he asked for 4 high school girls in his contract instead of 2 this go-round
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions
/trying to decide most appropriate analogy for Big East
Inferior, bloated, making the wrong moves at the wrong time…
Wolfpac?
Free at last!
The WWE ECW Revival
Boise State is CM Punk. Navy is Tommy Dreamer. Rutgers is Zack Ryder.
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions
Does this make RVD West Virginia?
Seems pretty good, but inevitably getting the hell out of dodge at the first opportunity?
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Fits
He and Holgo have unorthodox offensive tactics, and also, you kinda need a lot of drugs to be able to function in Morgantown.
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
I look forward to Chris Petersen sitting down in the middle of the field
at the Orange Bowl and putting the whole BCS system on blast.
Free at last!
I dunno
Who likes performing oral sex on women of questionable fiber and then invites people to smell their moustache after the act?
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions
Eh, once the Big East snags Stony Brook
then they get Zach Ryder. Rutgers is more like…… I don’t know what really
Twitter: RyanMcD29
IS THAT JOHN MARIANATTO'S MUSIC I HEAR, JR?
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions
/is jaunty tuba music
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions
That'll be 60 dollars
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:12 PM EST up reply actions
That'll be 60 dollars
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions
Here comes JR!
BOOMER SOONER BOOMER SOONER BOOMER SOONER
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions
Miami
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 3:17 PM EST up reply actions
Kentucky hops in the ring and tells you to knock this fake wrestling off
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
...
It’s still real to me, dammit!
The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why
Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property
by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 8, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
/trips over ropes
//runs into turnbuckle
///falls out of ring
////fumbles
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
/////spends ... uh... more Texa$ on football program
//////goes 8-5
by haveagreatday on Feb 8, 2012 3:18 PM EST up reply actions
From John Marinatto's official statement welcoming Memphis to the BE
“Over the past decade, the University of Memphis has demonstrated an unwavering commitment of competing at the highest level in college sports,”
BWAAAHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [gasp] BWAAAHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 8, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Memphis is part of Tennessee as much as Mobile is part of Alabama.
To me, both seem like they got put in the wrong state.
Louisville and the rest of Kentucky concur.
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions
Not sure which part I belong to
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
ALL YOUR POVERTY AND SADNESS ARE BELONG US
<3,
Mississippi
by haveagreatday on Feb 8, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions
Memphis is the Bangkok to the rest of Tennessee's upland Thailand
Mud Island is Phuket.
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
One night in Memphis makes the hard man crumble...
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Feb 8, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
it's a 1/3 Arkansas, 1/3 Mississippi, and 1/3 Tennessee
The worst 1/3 of all three
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Pretty much this.
Ask me about the death of five hookers and how Craig James was allegedly involved.
by IsayPetrinoYouSayPaterno on Feb 8, 2012 3:30 PM EST up reply actions
The location of Memphis
Is the one dispute that Mississippi has ever won.
West Virginia fans hate everybody. They remember every snub and joke and bit of snark. And they never forgive, and they never, ever forget. In other words, they're a lot like West Virginians in general.
by Kid Tenderloin on Feb 8, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions
Driving through the whole state this month, I realized that
Northeast Alabama is more like east Tennessee. Birmingham is stuck between wanting to be Atlanta and hanging onto Montgomery, and Mobile feels like a different state
Northeast Alabama is in the Appalachain Regional Commission
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
I had always read that
but leaving I-59 and driving through Fort Payne, Section, and Scottsboro confirmed it.
Bear Grylls filmed a Man vs Wild in Alabama.
It had Deliverance potential.
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
Don't forget the Top Gear visit to Alabama
which ended with a run for the border with Jethro and his cousin-brothers in hot pursuit.
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
that was faked.
Also, the M v. Wild hopped and skipped through the state, it was bizarre to see as a native.
1st, he jumped into Little River Canyon. About two feet to his left was the Canyon Rim road.
2nd, the river exits the canyon into a nice little park.
3rd. He ended up in the Delta, about 300 miles south of Little River.
If the brute force method fails, you didn't use enough brute force.
Did he wear a "Bear Was Gay" t-shirt into Bryant-Denny?
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
That's a big region.
How do they decide who gets in? I’ve been to Hale County, Alabama and I wouldn’t describe it as Appalachian. Granted, it’s on the very edge.
by Nick's Hat Band on Feb 8, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
agreed. or Pickens.
not sure about Tuscaloosa either.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Feb 8, 2012 3:29 PM EST up reply actions
Birmingham's terrain
feels like the end of the chain, but culturally is different than northeast Alabama
The ARC was founded by act of Congress in 1965 and the territory was defined then...
Because this was a War on Poverty/Great Society program the primary defining characteristics were economic strength and poverty rates. Since that time, some counties in the region have made substantial progress at diversifying and strengthening their ecomonies, others have not.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Ah, poverty. Yeah, we can do that. I thought you needed hills or something.
Thanks for the answer too.
by Nick's Hat Band on Feb 8, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
Well, it just so happened that the poverty was coincindent with the mountains....
Or vice versa, no one was ever really sure.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
/case gets assigned to federal judge in Pikeville
//why the fuck is there a federal courthouse in Pikeville
///or Ashland or London for that matter
////seriously, in Minnesota we made do with Minneapolis, St. Paul, and one magistrate judge who really wanted to live in Duluth
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 5:03 PM EST up reply actions
All have to be in walking distance when the only vehicles are either on blocks or coal trucks
I’ve been to Pikeville once and London many, many, many times
Sposed to be SEC
They always get these things backwards
The mountains don’t cause poverty. Poor people stay in the mountains because you can kill stuff to eat right out back, pick stuff to eat what grows wild, and grow stuff to smoke eat out in places nobody ever goes to.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 8, 2012 7:23 PM EST up reply actions
Geography teacher here...
The Appalachian Regional Commission originally was started out to help the poor in Appalachia. When the ARC took a look at Mississippi and Alabama (and South Central Tennessee) they decided they needed economic assistance as well. Northern Alabama is home to Appalachian Mountains but Mississippi is not.
I knew those twenty-one credit hours in geography classes would pay off.
Please pronounce it “APP-uh-latch-uh” instead of “APP-uh-lay-sha”.
Missippi? No Mountains?
How dare you question the integrity of mighty “Mount” Woodall and its almost 807 feet of splendor
Sposed to be SEC
Hey, look!
There’s my economically-depressed-with-little-hope-of-recovery hometown!
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions
Mine is in a purple county
No sig.
by GenericCommenter0001 on Feb 8, 2012 5:01 PM EST up reply actions
green bordering on purple here
"I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I am using all of them." -- Ron Swanson
Hustle Belt -- for all your MACtion needs.
by thechuck_2112 on Feb 8, 2012 5:03 PM EST up reply actions
Zanesville?
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
/ stands on Mom's porch
// waves toward Chuck’s hometown
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
How did they skip Oxford?
I mean, the region goes all through Northeast Mississippi, into Union County, then skips right over Lafayette into Panola. How the fuck does that happen?
Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.
by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 8, 2012 10:58 PM EST up reply actions
What? Austin is pretty goddamn Texan. Sure, there's libruls and such, but LBJ was a Democrat.
If anything, Beaumont is more part of LA. And don’t get me started on Texarkana. Pick a side!!!!
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
I don't wear no Stetson
but I’m willing to bet some
that I’m a big a Texan as you are
There’s a girl on the backseat
asleep in her barefeet
and my trunks full of Shiner Bock and Lonestar.
to be clear, not a texan, just a fan of the music.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Feb 8, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
who isnt a fan of Pat Green
JUST KIDDING
DONT SHOOT ME
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Thank you for the audible laughter.
/turns Turnpike Troubadours back up in headphones
//Dear Dub Miller, please release some new solo stuff, Love, The World.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:37 PM EST up reply actions
Turnpike Troubadours kick ass
Came across their album while over in Kosovo and just about seared it into my eardrums with how much I listened to it.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions
Spotify has a surprisingly good amount of stuff.
A lot of the bigger names can be found: Stoney, CCR, Boland, Randy Rogers, etc.
I was listening to Kyle Park earlier.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
Nice.
Stoney and Randy Rogers are definitely up there as my favorites. I think Wade Bowen is in Atlanta this week or next week, but it’s a weeknight show and I can’t make it. I saw him on back-to-back nights in B-ham and Atlanta last summer, though. The Peachtree Tavern in Atlanta gets a lot of Texas/Red Dirt artists. So does Zydeco in B-ham. Fun times to see bands that big in Texas in small bar venues.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions
Wade has been getting a little big for his britches
I heard him on the local Jacksonville radio last week (at like 11pm, so not exactly prime time) but I was caught off guard since my phone was in my pocket.
And this is why when I visit San Antonio I drag Chloe out to concerts. Bleu Edmonson and Jamie Richards the last two times I was out there.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions
Wade's new album is going to be with a national label, I think.
The songs he played off that new album were typical Wade, though. I just hope he doesn’t go the way of Jack Ingram.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 3:59 PM EST up reply actions
Kiss from an Angel?
/stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab
I’m just tired of people taking Bruce Robison and Radney Fosters songs and fucking the songs up and putting them on the radio and ear-raping the general public. I’m looking especially angry at Mr. Keith Urban. He ruined one of my all-time favorite songs. (I’m In by Radney Foster)
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 4:17 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, he definitely killed that one.
He did a decent job of “Rainin’ on Sunday,” but that was mainly because of the guitar parts.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 4:35 PM EST up reply actions
I've stated it here before and will again.
If someone touches ‘The Good Life’ by Bruce Robison, you will all know my real name, because I will murder anyone who fucks that song up.
/also applies to every song on American Troubadour and Post Country albums by Dub Miller
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 4:38 PM EST up reply actions
I miss living in places that Randy Rogers Band would play.
Saw them routinely in college and law school. Mobile’s not really their target demographic though. And many of their shows in the accessible college towns are on weeknights.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Try living in FL.
Although I am going to the Avett Brothers show this weekend.
/paging LondonJoe and his fury over a strummed banjo
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions
Shit, the Avetts are big time now.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Sold out in 15 minutes.
I got corporate tickets when a friend called and threatened to not clear the annual donation check.
/plus free drink tickets
//mwahahahahahaaaaaaaa
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
I greatly enjoy the Avett Brothers and was genuinely thrilled when they played with Bob Dylan and Mumford and Sons at the Grammy's
I think I’m one of like 12 people that own both a Mumford and Sons and an Avett Brothers album, though.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Al-bum? What is this?
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
Something oldsters still refer to when they mean disc.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Then apparently I know the other 11.
oh you mean physical media?
O, yeah, LOLUOLD
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:54 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, I meant, like actually bought the CDs.
I’m old, I know, but I still like reading liner notes and album art and stuff.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Protip: this is available in iTunes.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
But then I have to have my lap top with me at that exact moment it strikes to go through the liner notes or look up lyrics.
Which is usually while I’m sitting in the car waiting for my wife to get whatever she had to run back into the house for.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Never heard of them, sad to say
I will now check them out.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 3:59 PM EST up reply actions
I think there are a bunch more than 12 in that group
unless you mean actually own a physical CD. Everything I have is legal, but it’s all on iTunes.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I've got CDs from both in my office right now.
I rarely talk to other people about music, though, so I would never have guessed that interest in both groups would be rare.
by JohnCoctostan on Feb 8, 2012 4:29 PM EST up reply actions
It's not
Most of their fanbase is from the generation that does not buy music in physical form
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Gotcha.
I still like having a physical product, too.
by JohnCoctostan on Feb 8, 2012 4:42 PM EST up reply actions
i would love to see the avett brothers
have fun!
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Feb 8, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
Any Red Dirt List that does not involve Pat Green, Reckless Kelly, or Kevin Fowler
is slightly lacking. Although thats a good list overall. Stoney has to be my favorite live show.
"We couldn't score in a whorehouse with a fist full of twenties.....On nickel night." -attributed to E. Cantler
by BAMA Boy, Memphis MAN on Feb 10, 2012 11:35 AM EST up reply actions
The rest of Alabama isn't like Mobile?
I assumed Mobile was the typical.
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
Mobile is more similar to New Orleans than it is to any other city in Alabama.
Much older city, Spanish/French influence, etc. that the rest of Alabama lacks.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I've had a pretty good prank going on at work.
Put a piss cup on the IT kids desk and he’s been freaking ever since.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 8, 2012 5:17 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
Go ahead.
It’ll be the most intelligent thing said in class all day.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions 12 recs
"And the risk free rate is 5%"
“its the cost of US treasuries”
I swear I just heard that.
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions
We better hope the Treasury Bonds aren't yielding 5%
The 10 year bond is trading at 2% and the 30 year bond is at like 3.2%.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Yeah...thats the idea
Has this guy just been fucking asleep for the past 4 years?
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions
A 5% bond would mean he was assuming things were much worse off than they are
With fixed income securities as price goes down, yield rate goes up. For example Greek bonds were trading at about 5% a couple years ago, and are trading at 34% now.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
yeah but he wasnt referring to the overnight or 1 year t bills
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions
The price works that way for all Treasury bonds
The longer to maturity the less the price reacts to current events
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
I understand...its just not coming across in my posts.
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
It concerns me greatly that a finance professor doesn't know how bond yields work
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
this is why he is a professor.
tenure don’t fluctuate.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
WOOOOOOOO, AMERICA!
All bow down before our grand economic strategy of sucking less than all the other sovereign debt issuers.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
It's working
According to S&P, we are only 1 of 10 countries with a positive trending rate, and by far the the highest rated of those 10. Of course Fitch never did downgrade us from AAA and Moody’s says we’re still Aaa but trending negatively.
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Yes, because we all know Twitter invented the word "trend"
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
Blow ass, then say, "I regret nothing."
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Feb 8, 2012 3:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
but that would be a lie
I regret coming to law school
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions
close...they teach us how to justify lying
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions
/Ruxin'd
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Feb 8, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions
...!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 4:35 PM EST up reply actions
Why have I never seen this?
And what is this meme called?
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
/ wants to be red background penguin
// is blue background penguin
Or, as Chuck Jones once put it, “Most people would like to be Bugs, but more people are actually like Daffy.”
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I wanted to be the Roadrunner
Found out I’m the coyote.
West Virginia fans hate everybody. They remember every snub and joke and bit of snark. And they never forgive, and they never, ever forget. In other words, they're a lot like West Virginians in general.
by Kid Tenderloin on Feb 8, 2012 6:58 PM EST up reply actions
This may help explain why we had the ACME servers running SBNation this morning.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Profiles in Demotivation
I had my annual review at work yesterday, and I graded out at 108% of target performance, #1 in my group, and got a 3% raise.
The “average” performers got a 2.7% raise. So, for going above and beyond, working extra hours, and taking on other peoples’ responsibilities, my reward is 0.3%.
Damn I hate this place.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot about morons.
Hard work may pay off later
but being lazy pays off now.
by Lucas Jackson on Feb 8, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions
come on now...
3% raise and you hang out here all day
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 8, 2012 5:19 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
ARGH! Dave Brandon is not sold on a college football playoff.
Here are my thoughts on you, Mr. Brandon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DJ2xyD0wU4
Why does anybody care what Dave Brandon thinks?
After all, he thought whatever Domino’s makes is pizza.
West Virginia fans hate everybody. They remember every snub and joke and bit of snark. And they never forgive, and they never, ever forget. In other words, they're a lot like West Virginians in general.
by Kid Tenderloin on Feb 8, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions
WAHRGARBLRAHGRA
CRACKED HEAD GASKET??!
/haz sad
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 8, 2012 4:01 PM EST reply actions
pack it with more grease and sawdust.
/don’t do that
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 4:27 PM EST up reply actions
oatmeal
WORKS EVERY TIME
/May not actually work every time.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 4:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
AHA
If I do ALL THREE OF THESE THINGS at the same time, what could go wrong?
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Feb 8, 2012 5:07 PM EST up reply actions
Well, you might accidentally create this
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions
might end up cracking the head gasket..
Donate to my Movember-- I poorly grow, so support my Mo'.
http://www.movember.com/m/22481
WAIT!
I misread the problem. Mine is for a cracked block, not a bad gasket.
For a bad gasket I’d stick to bubble gum, applied externally.
Also, if you’re mechanically inclined, it is possible to replace that yourself. Not fun, but possible.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:14 PM EST up reply actions
I'm trying to determine if UVa has any medieval English manuscripts in their libraries
To the empowerage of words!
by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 8, 2012 4:17 PM EST reply actions
but I did find a castle for sale!
To the empowerage of words!
by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 8, 2012 4:19 PM EST up reply actions
The greatest Oscars moment ever, if you ask me.
I like to imagine that every stodgy Academy member who voted for them did it as sort of a joke, thinking that surely everyone else would vote for other songs, and then they were so shocked when Three Six won that their monocles popped out.
Also, I imagine all of the members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences wear monocles.
Witty phrase.
by The Ugas Departed on Feb 9, 2012 9:31 AM EST up reply actions
Somewhere, RJ is having a stroke
is someone keeping an eye on him?
Here lies ASCII Picard, he never scored.
by touchdown H-town on Feb 8, 2012 4:44 PM EST reply actions
crowdsourcing
I’m doing some practice interviews for the Academic Decathlon team at my old high school tonight. Typically in the competition interviews, there will be one off the wall question designed to thwart preparation for “normal” questions. I need some good ideas for oddball questions. Some that I recall from my time competing a decade ago, “If you could be any animal, what kind would you be and why?” “Why aren’t manholes square?” Stupid shit like that. Thoughts?
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 4:52 PM EST reply actions
Academic Decathlon?
How about, “What does a vagina look like?”
Sposed to be SEC
by Old South on Feb 8, 2012 4:54 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
BECAUSE THERE ARE NO NERDS HERE.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 4:55 PM EST up reply actions
BULL. SHIT.
/lettin his nerd flag fly
by Albino Tornado on Feb 8, 2012 10:14 PM EST up reply actions
HI FIVE
The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe
/used to be on TV for what you weirdos call Quiz Bowl
//scored at least three hookups with chicks who saw me on TV
///YOU AIN’T DONE NEVER DID THAT HAHA
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Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
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/Been on TV for it in Ohio
//was called “In The Know” for us
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
"Why does Charlie Weiss have a job?"
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 4:54 PM EST up reply actions
Who's your favorite comedian?
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
If the world had to give up either math or language, which one would you sacrifice? And why?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I like these kinds of questions.
Another one: If future scientific research could only be directed either toward exploring the oceans and seas or exploring space, which should we pursue?
I used both of these, they got confused.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 9, 2012 9:17 AM EST up reply actions
Ooooh, I like that one-
and I’m going with language, for obvious reasons.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
"What are your thoughts on the expansion of the SEC?"
Watch, you’ll get some hilarious stuff about big government, then ask “well, what about Missouri and Texas” and watch them struggle to figure out what you mean
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
"You’ll get some hilarious stuff about big government, then ask "well, what about Missouri and Texas" and watch them struggle to figure out what you mean."
So…just like SEC fans?
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
If you had to lose one sense, which would it be?
Bonus points if they answer “horse.”
Looking forward to the revelation of Jordan Jefferson's Wonderlich "score"
by Slum C on Feb 8, 2012 4:59 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Another old college application staple
If you could immediately solve one — and only one — world problem, which one would you fix? Why?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Obvious time to use philosoraptor is obvious
Sposed to be SEC
by Old South on Feb 8, 2012 5:04 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
MIND. BLOWN.
That’s a good one, right there.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 5:05 PM EST up reply actions
I believe the answer involves a full ride to Purdue.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:06 PM EST up reply actions
/loads all questions above into philoraptor meme generator
//prints off results
///Utilizes flash cards in interviews
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:05 PM EST up reply actions
Use the Christian Ponder one.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
The what now?
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions
If Tebow asks a question, is it a Christian Ponder?
"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal
AHA!
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
Did the guy who sang "Walking in Memphis"....
Wear stilts when he was walking “10 feet off of Beale”? Can you name him? Can you really feel the way he feels?
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 9, 2012 7:00 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
"How much energy is used to light headlights in the US every year?"
I got that one tossed at me in an interview when I was in college. Took a lot of gear shifting and prompting but I started to get there. Need to estimate number of cars, amount of driving, energy usage of a light bulb, etc, etc.
@papaalphakilo
The people who suggest Brian Kelly should not curse are the reason the rest of us created profanities. - Spencer Hall
by PAK on Feb 8, 2012 5:06 PM EST up reply actions
Here is a fairly simple one;
How many National championships do Alabama fans claim?
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
E: All of the Above
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GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions
What is the difference between ketchup and Fancy Ketchup?
GO—
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GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
One of life's really difficult questions.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
What is your least favorite book? and why?
Donate to my Movember-- I poorly grow, so support my Mo'.
http://www.movember.com/m/22481
The best part of these is thinking of how I'd have responded 10-12 years ago.
And how much those answers would have annoyed the interviewer.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
Too bad this is at a high school and you can't do eff-marry-kill questions
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
Yeah...
Seeing as I’ve actually gone through the whole Catholic Church safe environment training thing, I really don’t want to have to retake that class on account of a FMK question.
@amathews29: All hail Gustafson, Viking lord of Omaha!
by T-Jax, Field General on Feb 8, 2012 5:25 PM EST up reply actions
"Why does green mean go, and red mean stop?"
“Where the fuck didja get that banana at??”
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GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 5:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"If the moon were made of spare ribs, wouldja eat it?"
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Feb 8, 2012 5:30 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Candidate #1: On what date did the Titanic sink?
Candidate #2: How many people died on the Titanic?
Candidate #3: Name them.
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Feb 8, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
evil.
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GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 5:33 PM EST up reply actions
How many Nick Sabans can you fit in a Fiat 500?
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
Good answer
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
That's a good one.
Even if they get it wrong the first time, they can always have a do-over.
¡El Hipopótamo!
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 8, 2012 5:39 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
needs a qualifier.
are the Sabans happy or mad?
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GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 5:40 PM EST up reply actions
Not sure if serious
Happy Saban, what’s that?
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
On an average day, do you think more people or more dogs play with tennis balls? Why?
First question I was asked at my interview for my dream job.
We talking the world over or just in America?
’Cause my answer for that one would change depending on that parameter.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 5:44 PM EST up reply actions
I'd say dogs then.
Basing the thought on how fat Americans are, how much internationals may love tennis more, and how much more we love dogs.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 5:49 PM EST up reply actions
I'd even go so far as to argue . . .
. . . that on the average day in the US, more tennis balls are being used to cushion chair legs than are being hit by people with tennis rackets.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
don't forget
them being used as antenna cushions.
Lotta them around these parts.
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GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Feb 8, 2012 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
That's definitely a good point, too.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Feb 8, 2012 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
Don't forget all the walker legs, too
And for the record, I also said dogs. You need less equipment (people need rackets, a wall/net, enclosed space so you don’t need to chase after the inevitable mis-hit balls, etc.)
Which fictional villain or antihero do you identify with?
Hint: my friends in trading, almost to a man, answer this question with Patrick Bateman or Gordon Gekko.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
Would you rather be Batman or Superman?
Defend the choice.
by Albino Tornado on Feb 8, 2012 10:34 PM EST up reply actions
No, I would not
because I do not wish to deal with Superman’s physical afflictions nor Batman’s mental ones.
The Wiki (Varsity Pride) -- The Blog (Those Other Guys) -- The Twitter
Contributor at Bring on the Cats, SBNation's Kansas State blog
EDSBS Censor Librorum Promulgatio Media
Where do you think Craig James put the hookers?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
OT: Bought "How To Archer" last night.
Haven’t had a chance to look through it, yet, though.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
Groupon lost $43 million last year after analysts expected it to post a profit
Everyone aged 18-35 says “I told you so”
Sposed to be SEC
Raise your hand if you think Groupon is just one spam scam after another??,
I am a parody of myself.
by mrpelicanpants on Feb 9, 2012 6:56 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
New York Times' hockey writer says that Michigan's campus is dry.
A Michigan Man may only marvel at the sea of maize and blue on Saturdays, or the face of the Lord himself. Impress the world, but be not impressed by it.
NYT got something wrong?
Why, imagine the SPIDERS ALL OVER THE GREY LADY.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Feb 8, 2012 7:39 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
alcohol in the big house?
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Feb 8, 2012 7:51 PM EST up reply actions
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