THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/27/2012

EDSBS is still on half-speed due to the editor traveling back from a harrowing Orlando family vacation. Please enjoy the stylings of RHJ and Luke in the interim, but please pay attention to GIGANTIC NEWS below.

SHUTDOWN FULLBACK. CLEAAAAAAAAAATS. Coming soon, pale men yelling in a basement about college football. OH YES IT IS TIME TO SUBSCRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBE.

So the show's going to be about college football? Well, yes, just as much as this website is about college football. (So yes, and no.) Is it going to be on Youtube? YES IT WILL. Is it going to just be you two yelling in a basement straight from Wayne's World? Mostly, but not without all kinds of fun things like two minutes of yelling in Houston Nutt's voice about signing day and other things thought of by us and the geniuses making the show. Should I subscribe? Of course, because we're going to do a shitload of these, and you'll want to watch them all, of course!

When does this happen? March 1st, when the whole channel debuts with all sorts of other fine sports contenty things with Bomani Jones, Matt Ufford, Dan Rubenstein, Amy K. Nelson, Ariel Helwani, and all sorts of other awesome things. Internet faces on video spaces! What could possibly go wrong? HUSH YOU. You want the anti-ESPN, well, you'll get it in all its stumbling newborn glory.

VICK BALLARD'S UNFORTUNATE CROCODILE MILE. We remember him for his willingness to initiate contact at Mississippi State, and it's not like that's going to stop wherever Vick Ballard goes: the combine, then the NFL, parking lots, china shops, wherever...you put that man in a crowded physical environment, and Vick Ballard simply has to collide with something. (Via this, which is so very brilliant.)

FRIDAYS ARE GREAT FOR DOING THINGS LIKE RELAXING AND RELEASING BAD NEWS. Charles Robinson and Oregon strike late on a Friday with what we already knew, which is that they paid money straight to the infamous Willie Lyles and failed villain Baron Flenory. This could mean they're boosters under NCAA rules, and those rules say that's bad, but knowing the NCAA means no one knows the rules, and they'll make it up off the back of a duck's ass like they always do.

NICK SABAN WILL LEAVE HIS SPOUSE JUST AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE YOURS, HONEY. No, it's not that I'm offering a recruit who's already committed, it's just that he wants him to say he wants to commit, and it's not him, it's you says Nick Saban, mindmaster and sorcerer of the recruiting trail.

SPEAKING OF THINGS MADE UP ON THE SPOT. LSU Football! Improv'd brilliantly week-to-week since 2005, and more successful than one could possibly imagine. They start spring practice with a shorn werewolf at quarterback and Les Miles, another magical creature, as head coach.

ETC: Good lord, this man hates LeBron James. (Not that it isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.)

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