THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/24/2012

U CAN TAKE THE BRO OUT OF ANTARCTICA BUT U CAN'T TAKE THE CHILL BRO OUT OF THE BRO

It's the off-season and that means in between globe hopping on some serious DFW tennis 'ish, Chris Fowler is going to ride but the chillest of chillwaves in locals even modern cartographers haven't properly unearthed yet. Just south of the smart phone's camera's range? The utterly shameless lack of pants.

THE PRINCIPLE DIRECTS NEW MULTIPARTNER MARRIAGE Mormons be lonely, yo. Say what you will about BYU's bold, myopic decision to secede from relevance and try to go at it alone (ESPN $'s!), but in the ever shifting Rocketeer glacial landscape of college football, it would appear as though that last caffeine free Mountain Dew was spiked with regret.

SPENCER HALL & JASON KIRK'S JEDI MINDTRICKS KNOW NO BOUNDS Regardless of what the haterz say, college football's hall of fame is on a direct collision course with the dirty. 2012 will be the facility's last year in South Bend, which one drunk tourist called "my god, why didn't I vacation in Chicago instead? FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU."

CONCEPTUAL LOSS OF DOWN One rogue designer/college football fanboy/turbo bored by the off-season individual continues to churn out mock helmet concept after mock helmet concept. BC's ranks amongst the more palatable, and yet, there's still no design concept for Jim Bollman teaching an offensive line not to go on a one count nor turn out as much as a single multiple year NFL starter on the line that he had a part in recruiting. Excelsior, BC! After Spaz interviews for the Edmonton Eskimo's head coaching job, the Bollrus will become your next head coach.

"ROTATING QUARTERBACKS IS BEYOND REPROACH AND WILL WORK FOREVER", SAYS HOLIDAY BOWL CHAMPS Mack Brown and co. still don't know what they have in David Ash and Case McCoy. I've got an idea, coach.

WE CAN MAKE MONEY TO BURN And burn they shall! Famous Democratic political strategist Dennis Dodd talks figures for a prospective 'Plus One', which include but aren't limited to doubling all the things. Bowl executives, may your future disgraces be plentiful. We can finally afford enough hush money for everybody!

STAY MEDIOCRE, GO DANCING After getting dumped by New Girl star Dana Holgorsen, Jimbo Fisher has found a new dancing partner for the 2012 season in the form of the West Virginia of Savannah based Georgia colleges and universities, Savannah State. I known nothing about Savannah that I didn't learn from Aaron Spelling's short lived risqué serial, Savannah. Miss u, Michigan J. Frog.

ETC.: Spend 13 minutes of your day listening to this extended version of this Gorillaz/James Murphy/Andre 3000 collab., because your time is incredibly invaluable as is anyways.

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