On the morning before he sent his sacrificial lambs out to slaughter the butcher, University of Miami coach Howard Schnellenberger gazed out a picture window in his hotel suite high above downtown Miami and wondered aloud if the Nebraska Cornhuskers realized "what a bunch of alley cats they're about to run into." He said he doubted it....Looking lordly in his Oriental smoking jacket and red felt slippers, Schnellenberger bit down on a bagel and wondered, too, if the Huskers realized they were about to get hit from the heavens by a round-eyed, curly-haired freshman quarterback who talks as if he's 30, thinks as if he's 40 and may not be spacy but is definitely from another world. "I doubt it," said Schnellenberger.
— The greatest lede to ever appear in Sports Illustrated comes from an article on Howard Schnellenberger and the 1984 Orange Bowl against Nebraska. It marks a turning point in college football history, but seriously HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER EATING A BAGEL WEARING AN ORIENTAL SMOKING JACKET AND RED FELT SLIPPERS. He probably let John Underwood watch him shower, something he took no notes on because a.) he was too busy applauding and b.) some beauty transcends words.