THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/13/2012

Y CROSS FEELS LIKE THE PLAY HERE GUYS AND THEN WE'LL OH MY GOOODD WWWUBBBB BARRGGGH BARRGGG BARGBARGBARGBARGBARGBARG.

This comes to you via @heelturnSA , who points to the obvious new Holgex theme. (If you do not get this reference, then get your wub on here.) The Holgo/Deadmau5 shops are also too good to not include here.

ATHLETIC DORMS? RETURN OF THE SWITZER CHATEAUS BABY! The NCAA will attempt to pare down the rule book, including considering killing the arcane rules on transfers and the ban on athletic dorms, all of which sounds like an attempt to both free up coaches from stepping through three recruiting rules each time they accidentally mention an unsigned recruit in public and to concede ground and avoid charges of the NCAA writing the civil code for a black market athletic kingdom of underpaid labor.

But sure! You'll the ones who'll get screwed, department bros.

FURTHER BIG EAST COVERT OPS. We don't even know if Kyle included this as a literary device, but it's funny that the first image of an article on a realignment caperinvolves a commissioner looking down at a piece of meat and presumably wondering how to cut it up.

THE WONDERS OF A RATIONAL ACTOR MODEL. There are endless benefits to building a rational actor model of human behavior, and most of them have to do with you being unable to construct a better, more logical model that includes irrational human behaviors. So when two economists attempt to plot out the end of football in a world connecting CTE to football, you'll have a certain margin of error at every step.

You know how if you screw up carpentry by an eighth of an inch at every step you'll end up with the coffee table of Dr. Caligari by the end? That is this paragraph.

Outside of sports, American human capital and productivity probably rise. No football Saturdays on college campuses means less binge drinking, more studying, better grades, smarter future adults. Losing thousands of college players and hundreds of pro players might produce a few more doctors or engineers. Plus, talented coaches and general managers would gravitate toward management positions in American industry. Heck, just getting rid of fantasy football probably saves American companies hundreds of millions of dollars annually.

HAHAHAHAHA BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T FIND NEW AND EVEN WORSE WAYS TO BE UNPRODUCTIVE. But you keep chasing the productivity gap myth, economists. That chicken needs some more fucking, and you're the ones to do it. (Requisite note about economists having only the tools of rational argument to define irrational behavior, and that's hard and stuff.)

BAND BOWL GOES PREDICTABLY. There's actually some quality tackling in here, y'all. (And Tech losing. :( )

TAAAAAAAILGATE. If Army's going to do their spring game at Fort Benning, well, it's Columbus or die for their spring game, isn't it?

YOU SUCK AT GOLF AND BEING NORMALLY HEIGHTED, NICK SABAN. We include this just to mock a wealthy and extremely skilled successful man for something.

DICK TALK FROM THE WEEKEND. He did apologize while insisting he was a funny person, but let's be sure to review the weekend's crop of Jason Whitlock dick jokes, and a brief thing written about Whitney Houston and how you can have a moment with someone even when you never particularly felt their music. (Though this is still the jam, mostly because we saw a Memphis marching band do it fully charted and on point like three days after it came out.)

DO NOT CLICK THIS. It's NSFW, and the most erotic thing we've ever seen. Seriously, don't click it.