THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/31/12

Alex Grimm

Nobody will notice if you replace the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne with Big Pimpin.

DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN, BOWLS. Sunday's glaring hole in the bowl schedule was really weird to process. Some of us dealt with it better than others. MORE BOWLS DAMMIT GIVE US MIZZOU PLAYING INDIANA PLAYING USF PLAYING CAL CHINESE CHECKERS STYLE WOOOO. Previews? You want previews? Take some Liberty, Music City, Sun, and Chick-fil-A. (We promise the Sun Bowl preview is not just Gone In Sixty Seconds played at double speed and in German.)

FOREVER YOUR MILLION DOLLAR MAN. Sunday also brought rumors that Kirk Ferentz was bound for Kansas City, rumors which Peter King shot down because Peter King does not want Iowa fans to be happy. Just think! Freed of Ferentz's onerous contract, the Hawkeyes could have snagged (checks coaching candidates list)...Bob Toledo!

THE TOMMIE FRAZIER WING WAS LOST IN TRANSIT. Yes, the College Football Hall of Fame's tenure in South Bend is coming to an end, and we'll mourn it just like we mourned Bennigan's, NUMB3RS, and other things we never intended on seeing even if we had all the time in the world.

RANDY SHANNON MOVES ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE 2014 FLORIDA STATE JOB. He's got an SEC backgroundAND knows the ACC well! You can't possibly turn that down, Seminoles.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU, TURN THOSE HORNS UP. Burnt Orange Nation has the full breakdown, but, in summary: Marquise Goodwin demands that your slow ass get in the right lane, Alex Okafor is right behind you, and David Ash played the second half so well that you nearly forgot that this happened.

ETC. Stay safe this New Year's Eve and remember - if you pull some crazy shit, a Russian will probably capture it on video.

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