THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/6/2012

Chris Graythen

THE CURIOUS INDEX SALUTES AMERICA.

FINE. THIS IS WHY WE AMERICA. It is election day, so get some patriotism on.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

JOHNNY FOOTBALL! Bill C. and Jason make the case for Johnny Football over AJ McCarron, something you'll get to see them do in person on the football field on Saturday. Please direct all flaming bricks to them, not us, and keep calm and ROLL TIDE.

QUOTE OF THE DAY. This is how you successfully juxtapose scene with quote, journalists:

Off the field, during the South Carolina weekend, Florida made it abundantly clear why it's ranked No. 3 on Playboy's most recent list of party schools—even if an anti-alcohol-abuse campaign does seem to be curbing episodes of public vomiting. "It really has calmed down a lot," junior Lizz Smith said last Saturday as she stood at a tailgate across from the stadium, adjusting a blue afro wig and cradling an orange Jell-O shot.

We don't actually think that article does much else besides that, but it really doesn't need to after that.

THAT HYPOCRITE SITS TWO TIMES A DAY. Good Bull Hunting is all over the Bryant/Stallings 2012 ticket on this election day.

THE COLORADO SCHOOL OF MINES REVEALS THE SECRET OF THE BELL AT LAST. Sixty years later, the guys who stole the bell at Colorado reveal the secrets of how they lifted the 1,200 pound bell from the Buffs' campus, welded a huge "M" for "MINES" on the side, and then dumped it back on the Colorado campus. Secret ingredient: military veterans operating like it was a campaign.

ETC: Oh, the horrors of the actual menu at Guy Fieri's American Kitchen and Bar. The only campaign speech you need to pay attention to today is Horse_ebooks' stump speech. Middle Earth is real. Atlanta's hip-hop community is the best sports analyst ever.

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