THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/5/2012

THE CURIOUS INDEX NEARLY MISSES A CERTAIN DEATH.

WE'D CRY, TOO.

Mccrying_close_call_medium

We're sure the even-handed people of Alabama will retroactively unmock Tebow for crying after the 2009 SEC Championship game, because tears are now fine in sports.

COLLIN KLEIN IS SO GOOD HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HE'S SCORING TOUCHDOWNS! He also is concussed, another reason he didn't know he'd scored a touchdown on Saturday in K-State's victory against Oklahoma State. No word on his availability moving forward, or whether Bill Snyder will consult the local blacksmith for a second medical opinion. (He will.)

JOKER IS DEAD. And Kentucky has the letter to prove it, complete with the picture of Mitch Barnhart used to promote his book "Big Blue: One Man's Secret Battle With Cotton Candy Addiction." Continue to follow the Chris Nolan Batman trilogy in your hiring, Mitch. Break out the checkbook for JIM MCELBANE.

AS FOR REPLACEMENTS: Dirk Koetter? Um, sure. Dirk Koetter, and also possibly Brent Pease, current UF coordinator and former UK assistant.

"THEN WE DID OUR PRAYER AND TOOK A SHOWER." Gary Patterson is speaking in code here, because that's what you do after you rob a casino. "Did our prayer" = shimmied down the garbage chute. "Took a shower" actually means took a shower, because you just shimmied down the garbage chute. Next up? Planning the heist of a lifetime at Bill Snyder's House of Bingo and Marionettes.

AT LEAST HE'S NOT A BLOGGER. Bobby Hebert may be many things, but he is not some sarcastic, stained-pants wearing, no-floss using, social leper. Credentials! Because even the saddest people have to feel some misplaced sense of power!

THINGS ARE GOING BRILLIANTLY IN PULLMAN. Mike Leach appears to be having good times in Pullman.

ETC. This is a SLIGHTLY misleading headline, but we're glad nobody wound up with a smelly and soaked Dora costume. Doors so do not respect insane millionaires.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker