(A baby has startled the three men huddled under Byeshomon Gate.)

BLANKENSHIP: You have proven one thing to me, sirs - man is motivated only be self interest.

(He takes the infant's enchanted glasses.)

MILES: How dare you steal from that child!

BLANKENSHIP: Who are you to judge me? Did you not contribute to Akey's death by scheduling Idaho at home? No, I will not be chastened by you.

BEAMER: Today has made me doubt humanity's very goodness. Perhaps we are all but the basest of animals, masquerading as though society and generosit-what are you doing, Grasscutter?

MILES: I will take this child and make him my own.

BEAMER: Ah! There is some good! Bless your generous spirit, sir!

MILES: Generous? Hell no. I'm gonna make him my quarterback. Saban won't see that comin', the shithead!

FIN.

This is your late shift thread. Notre Dame is still dancing to the sweet sounds of Papa Roach.