THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/20/2012

THE CURIOUS INDEX IS STILL NOT TALKING ABOUT JON GRUDEN

HE'S GOT THE HANDS OF A GORILLA AND THE HEART OF A LION. Most offensive linemen go down like a felled tree when they get the ball, terrified of fumbling and making an already strange situation even worse. Not Ray Beno of Georgia Tech, who clearly wants to audition for every tackle-eligible play in the Yellow Jackets' playbook.

MOVIN' STICKS AND KICKIN' DICKS, BABY.

MARYLAND DID IT FOR MONEY, NOT LOVE. The cruel finances of mismanaged college athletics drove Maryland into the arms of the Big Ten, while Rutgers just left because someone at last wanted them with all their heart, and having never felt the attentions of a tall, dark handsome baron of a man like Jim Delany was therefore defenseless. Bill C reminds you that Rutgers can legitimately claim to have invented football, so there's that.

IT WON'T CHANGE MUCH. Frank Beamer seems overcome with grief at Maryland's departure.

WHY DOES NATE SILVER HATE AMERICA? He predicts the move eastward could dilute the Big Ten brand, but only because he's a gay liberal nerd whose math can't read the heart of the American people. <----THIS SHOULD SOUND FAMILIAR. Jeff MacGregor also wrote a fine column about statsiness and sports involving Silver and an entirely different subject--basedball?--but left out the answer to 'where does the magic go?' That answer: the magic is that you're not scrabbling for food 24/7, and live in a society where you get to watch people play games with "leisure time." THAT'S the magic.

IN THE WEIGHT ROOM, IN THE COMMUNITY. Do Randy Edsall and Kyle Flood look...slower to you now?

UNDERDOGS ALWAYS BECOME SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT IN RIVALRY GAMES. That thing? A slightly less competitive team, according to the numbers.

OHIO STATE STILL WON'T DEMAND A BRO COMBAT UNIFORM. These are nice, but until they take the field with a jersey complete with built in sweatshirt hood on the back they will cheat their fans of the most Ohio uniform ever.

AND THE MAC WILL SAVE US. With logical playoff proposals, of course.

ETC: If you're a rapper named Trinidad James and you're from Clayton County, well, we ride for you, sir. RIP, LANCE HARMSTRONG.

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