Q: HOW YOU GONNA COMPETE IN THE SEC, PAWWWWLLLLLAGGIESM?

A: By getting a bar-brawling and talented redshirt freshman, putting him in the Air Raid, and then watching him solve crimes like he was a weed-smoking, snack-stealing Great Dane, that's how. Mike Glennon as T.O.B. is nice, but Manziel wins strictly for situational awareness and versatility in costume. Please note in the above picture, he's in full Scooby: jolly, laughing, and clearly enjoying prize pony status in a college town.

And in this picture--warning! contains EXPOSED FEMALE BUTTOCK--he's showing the versatility of the outfit, lowering the hood to say no, baby, I know that looks like a dog walking on its hind legs, but it's really me, Johnny Manziel, aka "Johnny Football." I know! It's crazy how good costumes are these days. I lowered this hood just for you, girl. Let's talk about some mysteries we can solve together. You know, like meddling kids do.