THE ALPHABETICAL: BONUS LETTERS

Bonus letters say Notre Dame is aliiiiiiive, aliiiiiiiive we say.

THE ALPHABETICAL IS UP OMG THE ALPHABETICAL IS UP. Here are our bonus letters.

ALPHA. IT'TH ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

We didn't write much about Notre Dame this week. With a GIF like this, you really don't need to.

BETA. We also really didn't focus much on Alabama/LSU because this is the same game of thumping margin-ball every time it's played between these two teams. The fascinating wrinkle this year is AJ McCarron possibly being forced to pass a bit more than he usually does. That's neat! Zach Mettenberger might be forced to pass, too. That's neat in a totally different and horrifying way!

GAMMA. As bad as Boise's looked, they are 7-1 and undefeated in conference play. Chris Petersen is never leaving Boise, so don't even start to think about it, Tennessee. GRUDEN'S YOUR MAN HAHHAHAHHAHA THIS GUY IS COMING TO YOUR CITTAAAYYYYY.

DELTA. We remain East Coast Bias skeptics, but if Marcus Mariota were playing in the SEC or the Big 12 there would be babies with his Sharpie'd signatures all over them in flyover states. He's already thrown for 18 TDs despite playing 3/4 of games for most of the season, and hasn't even really begun to show off his ground game. It's horrifying and unfair and that is a simlie for both "random Ebola outbreaks" and "Chip Kelly football."

EPSILON. The Pac-12 has the late shift boiling all kinds of volatile and unsafe things at high temperatures this week: Oregon State hosts Arizona State, and Arizona goes to UCLA. Two hundred points will be divided between these two games. Share nicely, everyone.

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