J Spurrier (via emerszi)

So, a friend of mine and I were laughing about Steve Spurrier settling into his crotchety old man phase while listening to the new Dinosaur, Jr. record, when we realized, Spurrier is J Mascis! So we wondered how other SEC coaches paired up with indie-ish guitarists. This is the listicle we came up with for the SEC, at least those we could name:

Steve Spurrier (South Carolina) = J Mascis (Dinosaur, Jr.): Just rolling along, giving zero fucks, doing the same things that worked 20 years ago and getting pissed when called on it.

Nick Saban (Alabama) = Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth): I hate to say it, but the run is, at this point, pretty impressive. Is overrated in terms of individual talent, but vastly underrated in terms of the ability to put something together from average parts.

Dan Mullen (MSU) = Win Butler (Arcade Fire): 2nd Easiest call on this list. One of these guys best accomplishment is being part of a large collective at the right time/right place, is self important and stupidly dickish. The other is Win Butler. (Yes this makes Urban Meyer Regine Chassagne).

Gene Chizik (Auburn) = Craig Finn (The Hold Steady): Not really a guitarist; not really a head coach. Lifter Puller would be Chizik’s def coordinator work: amazing in hindsight, impossible to reconcile with later work.

Will Muschamp (Florida) = (The Jesus and Mary Chain): Jury still out on if he’s James or William Reid.

Hugh Freeze (Ole Miss) = Buckethead or ? from ? and the Mysterians.

Les Miles (LSU) = (The Smiths): Les is both Johnny Marr and Morissey.

_____ (Arkansas) = Jeff Schoeder (Smashing Pumpkins): Tasked with replacing James Iha, whoever lands here will still have to deal with an Ozarks full of Billy Corgans.

Mark Richt (Georgia) = Peter Buck (R.E.M.): Defined by mild, non-threatening competence.

Derek Dooley (UTenn) = Ian Curtis (Joy Division): Tell me you would be surprised.