GOOD MORNING, CATLAB. You don't do enough drugs, but for that, there's Catlab.
Frank Solich is still missing his lost career as a seventies film villain.
EVEN IF MARCUS LATTIMORE DOES NOT PLAY: Bill C still thinks Florida is a clear favorite on Saturday in the Swamp even if Marcus Lattimore misses the game due to a bone bruise or "leg thing." This fills us with the usual pregame weeping dread since we watched the OBC nearly beat Florida with Blake Mitchell and Corey Boyd in 2006. The man needs five rubber bands and a competent center to compete, and just a smidge more to beat you.
DON'T TEAR US APART, MIKE SLIVE. Every time there's rumbling about the SEC changing up the permanent cross-divisional rivalries we worry about the LSU/Florida rivalry to an irrational degree, forgetting that if they take it off the schedule we might just ignore orders, call CBS, and play the goddamn thing whenever and wherever we like.*
*In a New Iberia, LA salt mine a mile beneath the earth's surface.
OH, SEXY KLIFF KINGSBURY. Good Bull Hunting took this as dictation from surveillance footage of the TAMU football offices, and made none of it up.
THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO FIRE A COACH. Like prehistory, it has eras and distinct phase changes.
DO NOT ATTEMPT PASSING OF ANY SORT ON THE MISS STATE CAMPUS. Johnthan Banks is against all of it, at all times. The moment where Banks figures out the bike lock, if true, is a sign that Banks is truly a marvel of human potential, since he would be the first person ever to figure out how to properly use a worthless chain lock on a bike.
THE WORST SHORT RANGE HIT WE HAVE EVER SEEN. This was twenty years ago, something that might make you feel old if the total violence of the moment didn't overwhelm all other feelings. Barrow and Vanover don't really talk about it, because you know, almost killing someone on the field can make for awkward conversations later on. (But seriously, look at how much force Barrow applies on such a short run-up.)
LA PISTOLA. It's anti-fun in a formation, and a real non-delight to prepare for. You didn't know that Stefphon Jefferson of the Wolf Pack was the nation's leading rusher at 162 yards a game, and don't even pretend like you did. (via)
REMADE AND PAID. Scrappy from Kennesaw State finds out that an improved diet and working out turns you....black? RACIST-ASS OWLS.
OOH! LONGFORM! Horseshoes produces a tougher breed of athlete than you ever really thought it could.
ETC: It always disturbed us that he was smoking in a bathtub at the end, and we have no good reason why. LA LA LAAAA LAAAA. Virginia wines, now endorsed by Steve Spurrier, the ol' wine coach himself. These are all amazing, and we'd use them if we weren't distracted by OOH SHINY THING. Hi, Pinellas County board members, YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PEOPLE ON THE PLANET AND DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR BABY TEETH PULLED OUT BY TIME-TRAVELING ROGUE DENTISTS YOU FUCKING SHITIDIOTS. Just Brian Phillips writing about awesome things, kthx. Alachua County, you do you, man.