THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/10/2012

Sam Greenwood - Getty Images

DEREK DOOLEY NEEDS A HOVERROUND DAMMIT

DEREK DOOLEY MEANS IT WHEN HE SAYS YOU NEED TO PLAY HURT. The Vols coach underwent hip surgery this week and will coach from the press box against Mississippi State this weekend. The reason: he has been walking around with a broken hip for two months, and just now decided that he might want to do something about it. Derek Dooley is both the Job and G.O.B. of the SEC, and DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THESE PANTS COST?

THE CIVIL WAR CONTINUES. Good Bull Hunting continues to remind you of the importance of fully funding PBS.

DEAD BODIES. Just let us know how you feel, Mike Leach.

Some of them have been great and some of them have been very poor. Some of them have had kind of this zombie-like, go through the motions, everything is like how it's always been, that's how it'll always be. Some of them quite honestly have an empty corpse quality. That's not pleasant to say or pleasant to think about, but that's a fact. That's why it's been necessary for us to have the youth moment that we've had."

Well, it is roughly 28 days later in Pullman, and this is a pretty apt summary of what that kind of disaster looks like.

AND BACK TO THE FROZEN TUNDRA OF LOUISIANA WITH YOU. LSU had problems with the humidity and heat at Florida, according to Kevin Minter of LSU. We think this might have more to do with Minter playing eight miles out of his skull against Florida and making 17 solo tackles, and thus over-exerting himself doing the work his teammates did not, but that's something LSU can figure out back on the hardbitten wastes of the bayou.(Minter is right, though: the humidity in Gainesville is ridiculous. We have no idea how we spent four years there.)

WE'RE GONNA NEED 71. While every coach on the planet is being honest, why not Paul Rhoads admitting that you need exactly 71 points to win a game in the Big 12? It's just honesty day everywhere.

COACH. Longform does the story of one of those guys everyone in town called "Coach."

ETC: Good morning, China! Damn you, New York Times, for making us want to adopt a walrus.

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