THE CURIOUS INDEX, 1/5/2012

THE DAY, SIR. THE DAY IS YOURS.

We would suggest that the Orange Bowl was an asswhipping out of the Bible, but a quick check reveals nothing this graphic or terrible in the Bible, and there are some horrendously graphic and terrible things in the Holy Scripture. (There's a recipe for casu marzu in Deuteronomy, after all, and this was more disturbing by far.) You have to be both perfect and lucky to drop 35 points on a team in a quarter, which West Virginia was in being flawless offensively while helping Clemson unveil the most Clemson play ever, the 99 yard and 35 inch fumble return culminating in the Obie tackle as seen above.

THE BLOOD. MY GOD, THE BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Shakin' The Southland is arguing that Kevin Steele might not have the right to coach defense at Clemson anymore. Some coaches have argued that the Air Raid system is wildly unpopular among coaches because it can end careers. These coaches are named things like Kevin Steele. Holly's piece is a contrast, all giddy WVU players and the image of a program that if it can continue getting the three zillion reps per practice they get will be a force in the Big 12 in coming years. (See this for the zillion reps.)

Smoking Musket is all kinds of OMG right now, and why the hell not. Last night's asskicking was epochal. You shall not see its kind for years, not because West Virginia is not very good, but because last night was an instance of the universe bending an elbow, downing 83 shots of grain alcohol, and then depositing the whole fiery byproduct from its starry gullet onto the heads of Clemson. The universe power-puked hell on you last night, Clemson. There was absolutely nothing to be done about it.

LSU FANS EXCEL AT DRINKING, YOU SAY? The $120,000 beer tab is not a warning sign, but a point of pride. See the best clip from this piece on Tigah fans and their continued stress testing of the human liver.

Rather than making a push for temperance, LSU is considering a plan to cash in on the situation.

FAAAAAR...WE'VE BEEN TRAVELING FAAAAARRRRR....

THE PAUL RHOADS GIF WAS COMING AND YOU KNEW IT. And we still laughed anyway, but as Wide Right Natty Lite and Black Heart Gold Pants prove every day, people from Iowa are far funnier than you might ever suspect.

A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL IS OFF THE STREETS. Mostly because Akron hired him, but also because he paid his tickets.

AFTER THE JUMP. Our new hero, and other assorted moments of terror and glory from the Miami Massacre last night.

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