THE CURIOUS INDEX, 1/26/2012
by Spencer Hall on Jan 26, 2012 10:15 AM EST
Email
PrintHELLO GOD, I'M IN JAIL.
Mark Richt went to jail for a recruit, and it's not what it sounds like, but let's just assume that like any man, Mark Richt has flaws and the undying desire to get into a bar fight. Once in this bar fight, Mark Richt would then execute the dream maneuver of flinging a man down the full length of the bar and into the jukebox, which will then play Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog." (He was really just coming along on a bail bondsman's errand with the recruit's family, but shut up and let us imagine Richt brawling Old West-style. It's the offseason. We need this.)
ALABAMA JUST CONTINUES TO BE A STATE FULL OF AWESOME DECISIONS. We know picking on one Southern state for being stupider than another is like picking on one Midwestern state for being more dead inside than another, but really, it's just been a banner month for the state of Alabama. To assist you in differentiating them, we offer this handy shorthand guide.
- Arkansas: "I'll shoot you with this gun made of a black bear" stupid
- Louisiana: "I'll father a child with the bear, and then eat him in a sauce piquante."
- Mississippi: "What's a bear?" "Your mascot." "REALLY?"
- Tennessee: "I don't trust the bear because he's black AND doesn't go to church."
- Alabama: "I have filed thirty lawsuits written in crayon against the bear for no reason whatsoever."
- Georgia: "I ain't gone nowhere near Atlanta 'less there's a Braves game. Atlanta is full a bears."
- Kentucky: "That bear better not say shit about Calipari, or I'll slit his damn throat."
- Florida: "We feed the bears because they are cute, and then they eat us, and we are surprised because we are very dumb."
- South Carolina: "Bears? I'm sorry, I don't believe in dinosaurs." <---said in lovely accent
- North Carolina: "The bear, along with the rest of us, is looking forward to basketball season."
- Virginia: "I"m actually a Mid-Atlantic Bear, thank you very much."
We hope that clears up nothing for you.
TEXAS TECH IS CLEARLY GOING TO PAY SOME MONEY TO MIKE LEACH. On one side of the legal aisle in the Leach/Texas Tech/ESPN/Craig James case is the guy who got Mike Price $20 mil for the SI Story that turned out to be largely fictional, and on the other side is someone who writes "brain concussion." This is going to be awesome, y'all.
YET ANOTHER REGRETTABLE AND AVOIDABLE CASE OF NFLAIDS. You might be tempted to hire someone simply based on his name being "Clancy Pendergast," and this is why you will never be placed in charge of anything important or serious, because like many other unfortunate souls he suffers from a full-blown case of NFL-related football suppression syndrome.
HE MADE HIS DREAMS COME TRUE. Brady Hoke is the Dreamtamer.
ETC. No fawkin' way that happens if Mahky Mahk is on that plane. We retweeted this at Chris Brown this morning, and we'd like to thank Twitter for making it that much easier to make fun of assholes who punch ladies. Your government orders you NOT to have sex with Penelope Cruz.
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Long...but worth it.
Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.
by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Jan 26, 2012 10:36 AM EST up reply actions
I gotta check out that movie
It looks like the 21st century version of “Death Wish.”
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 10:38 AM EST up reply actions
Michael Collins 2: Breaking Skulls
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
"Feminist message"?
Can I ask what that would be without getting spiders involved?
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
It was ironic
It’s a movie about saving your daughter from being sold into slavery. Not exactly the stuff of Gloria Steinham’s dreams.
Free at last!
So she can grow up to be a backup dancer!
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
Women, you shouldn't worry about being sold into sex slavery, because a bad motherfucker will protect your honor.
That’s feminist, right?
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
If she was kidnapped to be used in the sex trade
Why would the kidnappers contact anyone? Wouldn’t she just disappear?
/starting to wonder about the internal logic of the movie
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 10:44 AM EST up reply actions
I think Mr. Neeson was doing the contacting.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:45 AM EST up reply actions
So... he knew who the local sex trade dealers were?
I guess finding out who they were was part of his skills acquired over a long time?
/don’t ask so many questions, just watch the movie
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 10:46 AM EST up reply actions
Your details get in the way of Liam Neeson bringing the smackdown and are therefore irrelevant.
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 10:47 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That's what I figured
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 10:56 AM EST up reply actions
THIS MAN KNOWS HOW TO WATCH LIAM NEESON MOVIES.
/“Schindler’s List” and “Michael Collins” being the exceptions, of course.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Next of Kin: Most Swayze movie outside of Road House?
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
They only live to get radical
They’ll never get the spiritual side.
Plus, there’s a reference to Bodie eating lunch at “Patrick’s Road House”.
Handbags at dawn, sirrah.
by ChocolateCity on Jan 26, 2012 11:57 AM EST up reply actions
And the greatest line ever spoke:
“I know you want me so bad it’s like acid in your mouth.”
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Plus he gets philosophical:
Why be a servant to the law, when you can be its master?
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jan 26, 2012 12:16 PM EST up reply actions
Utah! Get me two.
Busey’d/
Handbags at dawn, sirrah.
by ChocolateCity on Jan 26, 2012 1:14 PM EST up reply actions
Is the premise of Man on Fire identical to its title?
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
ah
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:36 AM EST up reply actions 9 recs
Hadoken!
"People who say that violence is not the answer are not applying the correct amount of violence." -- blanx73
Shoryuken.
Hadouken is the fireball.
/so ashamed
by Albino Tornado on Jan 26, 2012 7:09 PM EST up reply actions
Man on Fire
is a documentary of the 2008 and 2009 Michigan secondary.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:49 AM EST up reply actions 7 recs
and '10 for that matter.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 10:51 AM EST up reply actions
Really more '09 and '10
But you get a rec nonetheless.
Man on fire has a black dude kicking ass, Taken a white dude.
Also, Man on Fire suffers from “Look Ma, I went to film school!” syndrome, where the director did some weird shit to show he had a part in the film.
and not to spoil the endings, but the rescure operations have different outcomes in each movie.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 10:57 AM EST up reply actions
Well it's like an hour shorter.
It gets the kidnapping out of the way in about 15 minutes. So if Man on Fire tried your patience for the first 70 minutes or so but you loved the rest—Taken is your movie.
We got some tears...nope, we gotta thumbs up!
Twitter
I think there was a phone trace involved
also, we are drifting toward spoiler territory. Which, mind you, is entirely separate from spider territory.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:49 AM EST up reply actions
He was on the phone with his daughter when they came in to abduct her
One of them picks up the phone but doesn’t say anything. That’s when he gives the speech above.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 10:51 AM EST up reply actions
The movie gives you enough to go on.
But really, it’s Liam Neeson whooping ass for a solid hour. It’s best to just sit back and enjoy.
We got some tears...nope, we gotta thumbs up!
Twitter
Well, by 19th Century standards...
… starting with the a priori principle that women should not be sex slaves would be revolutionary feminism.
I love green because money be green.
_____________________
Twittin
Highly rec-worthy in my estimation...
And some nasty Arab dudes get their asses handed to them
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:40 AM EST up reply actions
and green in under 2 minutes
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
no "this is God(pause)frey Jones" Homer Simpson gif?
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Jan 26, 2012 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
CORRECTION: ALABAMA: "SHAKE THAT BEAR"
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jan 26, 2012 10:17 AM EST reply actions 8 recs
DAMMIT
You’re right.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Jan 26, 2012 10:21 AM EST up reply actions
How many of you read the AJC headline about Richt going to jail for a recruit
And expected to see a story of the biggest “drop the mic” moment in the history of the Fulmer Cup?
Witty phrase.
by The Ugas Departed on Jan 26, 2012 10:17 AM EST reply actions
Yes
http://blogs.ajc.com/recruiting/2012/01/26/ugas-mark-richt-goes-to-jail-to-meet-top-football-prospect/
The first sentence of this is hilariously misleading:
“UGA’s Mark Richt went to jail to speak with one of the nation’s top football prospects on Wednesday night.”
/38 page thread on Stingtalk about how the AJC kisses UGA’s butt
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:22 AM EST up reply actions
For a second, Tennessee fans were worried they'd let one get away.
by Ardbeg on Jan 26, 2012 10:30 AM EST up reply actions 17 recs
Even I had to chuckle at that one.
Enjoy your rec, sir.
"People who say that violence is not the answer are not applying the correct amount of violence." -- blanx73
Texas: College Station-That bear is greedy and wants too much of it's own honey, let's call it a reab, that will show him!
Texas: Austin-I liked that bear before he was cool
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:20 AM EST reply actions 10 recs
Texas: Houston--Let's have the bear design our transportation infrastructure.
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
by DrewRusse on Jan 26, 2012 10:23 AM EST up reply actions 15 recs
UCLA- the bear monopoly is now over.
by ElRocco337 on Jan 26, 2012 10:24 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
... here.
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 11:08 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
/fireworks
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 26, 2012 11:09 AM EST up reply actions
YOU'RE NOT HIS SUPERVISOR!
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:17 AM EST up reply actions
Missouri:
to keep up with the bear’s natural strength and power, we’re going to have to make and ingest massive quantities of methamphetamines.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:24 AM EST up reply actions
The fact that Missouri wasn't included in Spencer's list and I didn't notice
tells you everything you need to know about their new role in the SEC.
Ohio: Look at how fuckin jacked that Bear is! Dude's lats don't fuckin quit, chief
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:28 AM EST up reply actions
Michigan: Bear files for unemployment.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 10:33 AM EST up reply actions
no idea how the double post happened so here's a bear picture
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 10:40 AM EST up reply actions 10 recs
it came up under "bear cavalry" GIS so i'm gonna go with it.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 10:42 AM EST up reply actions
How have I not seen this before?
It’s…it’s magical.
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
New recruits
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
Remember the 5!
by VUfanInNJ on Jan 26, 2012 10:44 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
I can't imagine how I'd feel
if I was in the Wehrmacht, looking through field glasses at the forces shelling me, and saw a f’ing bear loading artillery shells aimed at me.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:47 AM EST up reply actions 4 recs
I would be scared shitless for a moment, then I'd realize it's the Polish army and breathe a sigh of relief as the shell only travels 30 yards.
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 10:48 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs
30 yards backwards.
Because the artillery is still pointed at the Russians.
Nadolig Hapus
by gth863x on Jan 26, 2012 10:52 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
HIVE'D
Teh Tweeterizer
"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." - Bob Devaney, Nebraska
by alex henery's foot on Jan 26, 2012 11:11 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Proud I got to green that
/I have relatives who were in that regiment
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
So this really is a fucking thing.
Crazy? Don’t mind if I do!
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
mobile bears?
I'm addicted to perfection. Problem with my life is I was always also addicted to chaos. Perfect chaos.
The Twitters, I haz them.
by Illusions, Michael. on Jan 26, 2012 4:33 PM EST up reply actions
Northwestern: Bears are the number one threat to America
by MGoEcon on Jan 26, 2012 11:30 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Colbert has lost his way
He’s forgotten about the bear menace.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 11:32 AM EST up reply actions
Alabama: All but four of the bear-skinned rugs are chmois covered with dog hair.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Nebraska: Those fucking Austin bears - it's all their fault.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
by Go Big Rev on Jan 26, 2012 11:36 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
/again
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Texas: We are the bears.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
/again
Seriously – we’re Roland Deschain, and Texas is the Dark Tower.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
by Go Big Rev on Jan 26, 2012 12:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
There's already a Callahan in the book.
He faced vampires.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 12:25 PM EST up reply actions
It's the same Father Callahan
from Salem’s Lot. He shows up and plays a pretty big part.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
Looks strong at the start, falls off at the finish.
Can’t defend against the bad guy. Sounds EXACTLY like Callahan.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Awww, come on Rev.
He acquitted himself well in the end. Maybe not in Salem’s Lot, but at least in Song of Susannah. Or hell, was it the beginning of The Dark Tower when we finally see his exit? I can’t really remember, now.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, I was just talking 'Salem's Lot.
I thought he redeemed himself wonderfully in the Dark Tower series.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
The Longhorn fled across the desert
and the Cornhusker followed.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
Of course
the Longhorn can only move sideways between parallel universes.
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Greg-a-chick? Davis-a-chum?
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Thought it was Mack-a-chick.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
/knows the bears are coming to town in six months
//makes commercial to encourage slaughter of said bears
///drops ball
////drops ball
/////drops ball
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Me, not have sex with Penelope Cruz?
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 10:21 AM EST reply actions 10 recs
Recflagged
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 10:40 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Tennessee: "I don't trust the bear because he's black AND doesn't go to church."
Coffee, meet keyboard.
We got some tears...nope, we gotta thumbs up!
Twitter
definitely my favorite
as a great man once said, it’s funny because it’s true.
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Jan 26, 2012 10:36 AM EST up reply actions
Schiano to TB?
BO’B’s response: ALL THE JERSEY RECRUITS
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
only if they commit, decommit, and recommit right quick
Ohio State is running out of room in the class.
Oh hai young athlete, Ohio State would love nothing more than to offer you a free education. Alas, too many other young athletes have taken up all our slots, and you can blame the NCAA for not allowing us to offer more free educations to deserving young athletes like you.
/always shift the blame
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 10:32 AM EST up reply actions
Schiano's used to playing in half-empty stadiums
So he should fit right in
Please please make this so.
Vandy Fan. Yankee by birth, Southern by choice.
The Twitterz Tag
Remember the 5!
by VUfanInNJ on Jan 26, 2012 10:37 AM EST up reply actions 7 recs
hey, anyone see what SEC football team had the most players
on the SEC fall academic honor roll?
that’s right, SEC ACADEMIC HONOR ROLL NATIONAL CHAMPIONS Y’ALL!!!
yea, now who’s stupider?!?!
roll tide
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Jan 26, 2012 10:28 AM EST reply actions
Well, they were taking classes at Alabama, so...
I keed I keed, UGA is the 95 Nebraska of grade inflation.
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:29 AM EST up reply actions
Well maybe in some departments
/grumble grumble
by ItsComplicated on Jan 26, 2012 10:30 AM EST up reply actions
I know two people who transferred between Alabama and Georgia (and in one case, back to Alabama)
Both assured me in no uncertain terms that the A was much harder to get at Georgia.
/Cool story, bro.
Most of my classes at UGA were at least respectable, but I had an intro level class taught by an associate professor who had just come to Athens after like, threeve years at the University of Oregon. I don’t know if she was actually high in class, or if years in the dense smoke of the Pacific Northwest had just dulled her senses… either way, her initial plan for us was for us to be in learning groups. She’d give us a study guide of 50 questions, 25 of which would be on the test… verbatim. Then she’d give us the test individually. Then we’d take it as a group, and she’d average the two scores. So, after the first test she wanted to know how to help us learn better. My buddy suggested, tongue in cheek, that she let us take the test as a group first and THEN as individuals. She was like, “OK, that’s a good idea.” Yeah, everyone but one person got an A in that class, and the girl that didn’t just didn’t show up. That prof ended up going back to Oregon after a year because the school didn’t really like her methods.
Witty phrase.
by The Ugas Departed on Jan 26, 2012 10:50 AM EST up reply actions
Was that "Learning to Learn" by chance?
by ItsComplicated on Jan 26, 2012 10:52 AM EST up reply actions
Nah, it was Intro to.. Telecommunications, I think.
Something along those lines.
Witty phrase.
by The Ugas Departed on Jan 26, 2012 10:54 AM EST up reply actions
Couldn't be.
Dogs at UGA communicate via ouija boards.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Jan 26, 2012 10:57 AM EST up reply actions 30 recs
ISWYDT
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 10:58 AM EST up reply actions
And DevilGrad CRUSHES the hanging curve.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
To celebrate, Imma eat as much lunch as Prince Fielder.
Gotta get some weight behind the ball.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
wait...
isnt he a vegetatrian?
pork is a veggie, right?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 26, 2012 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
Pizza buffet.
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
i wonder how many hot and readys he could eat in one sitting.
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Jan 26, 2012 11:04 AM EST via Android app up reply actions
depends.
does it have MRA or WRA in the medium?
it certainly counts as roughage.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 26, 2012 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
all the cheese, mushrooms, onions, peppers, and cheese?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:05 AM EST up reply actions
and desert pizza!
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:14 AM EST up reply actions
Roadrunner breast and nopalitos?
/ducks
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jan 26, 2012 11:15 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah. It's called The Paisano
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Greektown's supplies of spanikopita are already dangerously low.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
INCREASE THE SPINACH FLOW RATE!
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
We can kill time at Astoria Pastry while they work on that.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Astoria FTMFW
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:08 AM EST up reply actions
yessss astoria!!
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Jan 26, 2012 11:08 AM EST via Android app up reply actions
Spinach must flow...
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 11:08 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Less than
and you’re supposed to be looking at her eyes, you perv.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 11:09 AM EST up reply actions
She has eyes?
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 11:12 AM EST up reply actions
There were eyes?
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
Crap... hived with a blanx?
Can I get a cream for that?
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 11:12 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah, but sutures are probably a better option.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 11:13 AM EST up reply actions
that's totally not where my mind went.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:14 AM EST up reply actions
SHOES!
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 11:15 AM EST up reply actions
that's what you call it?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:17 AM EST up reply actions
Amputate, and pray.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
omg i want to dip my tortilla chips into her eyes!
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:19 AM EST up reply actions
Unibrow.....really?
FSU back-2-back state champs!! 52-14
by CashvilleNole on Jan 26, 2012 11:48 AM EST up reply actions
You have not seen Fremen before?
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:03 PM EST up reply actions
have you?
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 12:04 PM EST up reply actions
Different spice....
and differing effects.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:11 PM EST up reply actions
Title
"People who say that violence is not the answer are not applying the correct amount of violence." -- blanx73
Grass/hay grows in the ground.
Therefore grass is a vegetable. Cows and pigs eat grass therefore meat is a vegetable.
/science
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
by DrBundy on Jan 26, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs
Blood is not actually a particularly good fertilizer!
Hmmm. The cadence just isn’t there.
"You gotta be like John Wayne: you don't take no shit off no fools, an' you judge a person by what's in 'em, not how they look. An' you do the right thing. You gotta be one of the good guys, son, 'cause there's way too many of the bad."
Brawndo is what plants crave.
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 12:37 PM EST up reply actions
It's got electrolytes!
Ha. Water. Like, out of the toilet?
"You gotta be like John Wayne: you don't take no shit off no fools, an' you judge a person by what's in 'em, not how they look. An' you do the right thing. You gotta be one of the good guys, son, 'cause there's way too many of the bad."
We're just secondhand vegetarians.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
Funny, this makes me realize
How has someone not yet photoshopped a bulldog over Patrick Swayze in Ghost?
I'm so disappointed that you spelled every word in that correctly.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:29 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs
Depends on what (s)he meant by "yea."
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
"who's stupider"
Clearly the student body of Alabama. Honor roll is a relative ranking, after all.
by Ardbeg on Jan 26, 2012 10:43 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs
you sir
are a quick wit
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Jan 26, 2012 11:02 AM EST up reply actions
which is worthless
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Jan 26, 2012 11:21 AM EST up reply actions
It was a very small joke.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 11:31 AM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Isn't everyone in Alabama a relative?
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
this would've garnered valedictorian honors
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Jan 26, 2012 11:26 AM EST up reply actions
Well, they've won two national titles in three years, so I guess you'd say
they’re honor roll.
by Broncanous Mendenhall on Jan 26, 2012 10:46 AM EST up reply actions 14 recs
That's like Miller trumpeting the fact it won a gold medal in the American Light Lager category
Oh, so you’re the least awful beer in the awful beer category? Terrific!
Never deny, rarely affirm, always distinguish
by cmill126 on Jan 26, 2012 10:51 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Did you all count
all the players you oversigned in order to pull it off?
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
by Cap Town Cat on Jan 26, 2012 12:54 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
South Carolina: <---said in lovely accent
Only along the coast. The Midlands are being overrun with carpetbaggers and the Upstate is quite Appalachain.
[Lowcountry snobbery lives large SOuth Of Broad]
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
Of Appalachian descent just like yourself
but I’ll agree that the low country SC accent is a thing of beauty. Marrying a lovely lady from Southeast Georgia so hers is close.
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:33 AM EST up reply actions
Im both.
Momma and her family is from Logan County, WV.
Daddy and his from Andrews and Kingstree, South Carolina.
And grew up in Central NC.
My accent is kinda weird and mix mashed but decidedly Southern.
I like to fish. I run the option. Crazy. Southeastern college football enthusiast. Heavy metal and Johnny Cash aficionado.
"But kind and gentle."
by RjTheMetalhead on Jan 26, 2012 10:43 AM EST up reply actions
Not quite right there, RJ
You put a ‘T’ in Kingscree.
You know you’ve been down here long enought when you can say Wentworth Street without using one.
Wen’wurf Scree’
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:47 AM EST up reply actions
In my experience, there's plenty snobbery in the Upstate!
I love going out in Greenville, but you really have to pick your spots if you want people to actually, you know, talk to you.
Witty phrase.
by The Ugas Departed on Jan 26, 2012 10:52 AM EST up reply actions
Psh, you Chalston folks are pratically Nuu Yawkahs
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
Midlands?
Who lives in the midlands, other than in Columbia. Are there really a lot of Yankees in Orangeburg? Sumter? Calhoun County? If you want Yankees go to the low-country, my friend. You can’t throw a rock in Beaufort without hitting someone from Ohio.
OH MY DOG!
ALL the periods in all the abbreviations in the Cal article.
Who writes “NFL” as “N. F. L.” these days? “F. B. S”? (Dead giveaway — no really college fan calls it anything but Div. I)
“U. S. C.”?
Really, from what planet did this person just arrive? I’m supposed to take this analysis seriously?
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 10:31 AM EST reply actions
Based on their obsession with periods
they’re probably from Venus.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:33 AM EST up reply actions 12 recs
That's what I heard
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 11:01 AM EST up reply actions
/spews hot tea on keyboard....
/IT guy grumbles, “Damn, that’s the third one this month.”
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:35 AM EST up reply actions
While callers from Mars are using fancy gadgets to compensate for other... shortcomings.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 10:37 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm amazed a Crimson Tide fan didn't make this comment.
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 10:47 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Let's stanch the flow of these puns right now.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
by mnHorn on Jan 26, 2012 10:50 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
They'll last for a few days.
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Jan 26, 2012 10:51 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Come on, more of these jokes? I guess it's just that time of the month.
by Ardbeg on Jan 26, 2012 10:53 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I'm putting a period on these jokes now.
by ElRocco337 on Jan 26, 2012 10:54 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It's like the jokes are just continuously bleeding
but still won’t die.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 10:55 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Ok, I think this pun thread is ova.
Let’s not pad it any more than it needs to be.
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 10:58 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I agree, we need to tamp down on this sort of thing
Never deny, rarely affirm, always distinguish
by cmill126 on Jan 26, 2012 11:05 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I hate to rag on these pun subthreads, but...
by ElRocco337 on Jan 26, 2012 11:07 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
can these jokes just stop here?
i dont want them to cycle regularly on this board.
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Jan 26, 2012 11:09 AM EST via Android app up reply actions 1 recs
They may pop up again in 21-30 days.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:15 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That makes me irrationally angry.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
by blanx73 on Jan 26, 2012 11:16 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
As the humor of these puns gets thinner, the likelihood of them not happening increases.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
by mnHorn on Jan 26, 2012 11:17 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
You have to shed the layers first
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:18 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Well, now you've ended our fun
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
by MikeLew on Jan 26, 2012 11:32 AM EST up reply actions 9 recs
That took me a second
but wow was it good. Props to you, good sir.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 11:35 AM EST up reply actions
Did you hear about the Georgia Tech gal
Who got pregnant because she thought she’d be safe having sex right after mensuration?
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 11:00 AM EST up reply actions
Double punchline
A sexable girl at Georgia Tech.
by Durdens Wrath on Jan 26, 2012 11:01 AM EST up reply actions
i could have been at georgia tech...
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
and yet, there were girls much hotter than me at my Nerd U.
of course, I’m also hotter now than I was at 20 if that’s possible.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:06 AM EST up reply actions
Definitely possible
Particularly when one considers how few 20-year-olds actually seem hotter once they open their mouths to speak.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
The problems with the 20 years olds is that they don't have maps
to find the Iraqs and Americas and if they had enough maps…
Free at last!
You would have increased the number of sexable girls there
to one.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 11:04 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
FIFY
You would have increased the number of sexable girls there
to one.
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
I knew a girl from high school who went there
Wasn’t too bad to look at actually, but that just kills a good joke
by ItsComplicated on Jan 26, 2012 11:11 AM EST up reply actions
Really.
Did everyone get the “mensuration” thing at least?
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 11:18 AM EST up reply actions
woman at georgia tech...
the fuck is this
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Jan 26, 2012 1:08 PM EST up reply actions
same as a female cheerleader at aTm
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
I feel like some british narrator should follow them around
like a nature documentary.
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Jan 26, 2012 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
menstration
wait, how does this work?
I’ll grovel, as I do.
by dirt sandwich on Jan 26, 2012 10:56 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Jesus Christ, man, there's just some things you don't say in public!
by Broncanous Mendenhall on Jan 26, 2012 10:59 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
"Some things you don't talk about in public"
FTFY
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:00 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
U forgot something in there.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Hysterical.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
by DrBundy on Jan 26, 2012 11:26 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
E. C. U.
C. -. U. S. A.
I like to fish. I run the option. Crazy. Southeastern college football enthusiast. Heavy metal and Johnny Cash aficionado.
"But kind and gentle."
by RjTheMetalhead on Jan 26, 2012 10:40 AM EST up reply actions
But keeps drunk dialing the B.E fax line.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
Always split 8's
that, and always don’t play blackjack
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
Oh I play all right
it’s just good advice not to if you are fond of money
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
any other comparable activities to that?
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
Nick Saban has a Jack and a 4
Draws a King. Greyshirts the 4.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
by TexaninNYC on Jan 26, 2012 12:00 PM EST up reply actions 11 recs
Tears 5 in half.
Calls it medical redshirt.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
by TexaninNYC on Jan 26, 2012 12:08 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
....
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:42 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Haha yea
I remember that. Just wanted an excuse to post our favorite public library scholar.
They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.
by Dawg in Beaumont on Jan 26, 2012 10:45 AM EST up reply actions
Hey, Odessa is a small town.
Tate never learned how to court a lady.
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 12:02 PM EST up reply actions
I love blackjack
And it loves me back.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
I love blackjack....
and it curbstomps me every chance I give it.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:43 AM EST up reply actions
It's a cruel and heartless mistress.
My best night ever- I turned $25 into $1500.
/results may vary over time
//CSB
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
It's a funny game
My end results are either catastrophic losses or gigantic wins. Never had one of those break even nights.
Imma hang up and listen
The only good thing about the catastrophic losses
is I can usually tell when it just ain’t my night, and the beating is brief, severe, and somewhat limited.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
I'm not very good at leaving
I justify staying with the whole “Well I live 7 hours away from the closest blackjack table so I might as well keep going”
Not a good thing.
Imma hang up and listen
Usually
I’ll decide to go find the bar, instead, which is always a better decision.
/sarcasm
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
My normal night at the tables is....
$250 runs away. The big question is how long does it take. Once lost 27 straight hands.
I’ve actually had dealers commiserate with me about my losses, because according to them, I play the odds the right way 9 out of every 10 hands.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 10:50 AM EST up reply actions
I've had runs like that
Dealer will hit 20 and 21 out of every single combination imaginable. If you push a hand, you feel like you’ve won a million dollars
Imma hang up and listen
See the precedent set by Chevy Chase v. Wallace Shawn
in Vegas Vacation.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
$3 tables are the only place you can pull that shit and not get kneecapped.
But, holy shit is it fun.
"Fandom is irrational and emotional and therefore should be fun." - Wolverine Liberation Army
Twitter: sportsgeek42
Now Playing: VIII
by SPORTSGEEK42 on Jan 26, 2012 10:58 AM EST up reply actions
The looks I get from the people I am about to potentially cost the price of a happy meal make me LOL
And the funny thing is, more often than not it usually works out for everyone
Imma hang up and listen
That's usually because you only do it against a 5 or 6, right?
"Fandom is irrational and emotional and therefore should be fun." - Wolverine Liberation Army
Twitter: sportsgeek42
Now Playing: VIII
by SPORTSGEEK42 on Jan 26, 2012 11:04 AM EST up reply actions
I'm sorry I missed you last night
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:06 AM EST up reply actions
It's OK.
I had fun anyways.
"Fandom is irrational and emotional and therefore should be fun." - Wolverine Liberation Army
Twitter: sportsgeek42
Now Playing: VIII
by SPORTSGEEK42 on Jan 26, 2012 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
3,4,5, and 6
Sometimes other numbers if other people at the table are playing shitty. Last time I did it there were three gorgeous college girls at the table with me and they were hitting to 17 on every single hand. Most fun I’ve ever had losing $50
Imma hang up and listen
Really, I don't play blackjack to win money.
I do it because it’s fun. Also, occasional trolling.
"Fandom is irrational and emotional and therefore should be fun." - Wolverine Liberation Army
Twitter: sportsgeek42
Now Playing: VIII
by SPORTSGEEK42 on Jan 26, 2012 11:08 AM EST up reply actions
The pace of blackjack
suits my ADD-addled mind quite well.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:10 AM EST up reply actions
That explains why is that the only game i play in casinos
That and craps occasionally
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
"...I know what you doing, so once again Skip stop It. Be an analyst, don't be a douche bag" Terrel Suggs, Ball So Hard Univ. calling out Bayless
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
I love craps.
But I consistently turn even the hottest table cold. I usually lose about $100 in 5 minutes, and then I go to the blackjack table and slooooowly win it back.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Only way I will play craps is if I'm alone at the table
Controlled rolling, yo
Imma hang up and listen
Special lady friend has the hot hands for it
So if she’s with me in vegas I usually just finance it from the black Jack winnings, lay back, and enjoy the view
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
"...I know what you doing, so once again Skip stop It. Be an analyst, don't be a douche bag" Terrel Suggs, Ball So Hard Univ. calling out Bayless
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
At about 2 AM on my birthday on year
I had a dealer pay my 19 $50 against her 20. The gal who was the only other player looked at me and started to open her mouth to say something to me, and I gave her an awesome micro head-nod “No”, waited for the dealer to drag the cards, prepare the next deal, and proceeded to win about another $150. I had happy.
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 11:20 AM EST up reply actions
if you're in Vegas and like $3 tables, i think Hooters still has them.
Otherwise check out the new city center. I’ve been staying at the Cosmopolitan in the past year or so, and the gambling is pretty good there, not to mention the view
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
"...I know what you doing, so once again Skip stop It. Be an analyst, don't be a douche bag" Terrel Suggs, Ball So Hard Univ. calling out Bayless
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
Isn't blackjack the only game you can consistently win?
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
and the "deposit money to my account rather than to the casinos'"
I find it very fun every other Friday.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 12:01 PM EST up reply actions
Right.
I meant against the house. Then again, I’ve only been to fine establishments in Shreveport and Ardmore, Oklahoma, so maybe real casinos have poker where the house is involved?
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
some casinos have prop players
salaried players whose job it is to start games and keep dying games going. But they have no particular advantage that another player couldn’t have. They are usually decent but very tight because although they are paid, they play out of their own bankroll and take their own wins or losses.
Gotcha
Any time I’ve played poker at a casino, the house has just taken a small percentage of each pot.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
Yup. They have their hand in it.
But you have a far more human element in the odds.
Dealers don’t get on tilt, dealers don’t change styles.
If you can read people and do pot odds in your head, poker is your game.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:12 PM EST up reply actions
Poker is all I play.
Not even a huge blackjack fan; the ratio of chance to skill is still higher, I feel.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
/hits runner runner flush against TinNYC
ALL THE RAGE?
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 12:15 PM EST up reply actions
GRRRRRRR
AND YOU’VE PROBABLY NEVER PLAYED BEFORE YOU’RE JUST HERE FROM PLANO FOR A BACHELOR PARTY
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
/goes all in with jacks
//hits jack on the river
I IZ A WINNAR!!!
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 12:19 PM EST up reply actions
I had this happen to me before.
flopped a full house.
Idiot had been overplaying hands all night raises, I re-raise, etc.
Eventually I’m all in.
Turn over, he’s got nothing on the board, but his pockets were suited to a single card on the board.
Fucker hits runner suited to him, runner suited.
I lost around $700.
Damn near flipped the fucking table.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:20 PM EST up reply actions
/sigh
by folding?
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
Poker and dice for me
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:16 PM EST up reply actions
POKER AND DOLLAR SLOTS
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
And also 行還是不行.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
whatever that is...yeah, THAT!
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
no translation, but imma guess pai gow?
it’s a great game if you want to sit and drink and not lose all your money quickly.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:21 PM EST up reply actions
It's the game they were playing in Atlantic City
on that episode of How I Met Your Mother.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
I almost made this joke.
Didn’t realize you beat me to it.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
Yes...slots...how could I forget the slots
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:21 PM EST up reply actions
O rly?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:22 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Rhett was grand son of Old Charleston....
and a ne’er-do-well like most of them.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions
That's what they were doing when we went to the Poker Room/Dog Track/Sports Bar in Jacksonville.
Take a small portion from each pot, plus they expected drinks and food to be purchased, and tips to the dealers on every winning hand.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
OH GOD YOU WENT TO THE OP DOG TRACK?
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:22 PM EST up reply actions
Mmmhmm
Not by my lonesome. And I didn’t play cards- I just watched football and drank beer and had a cheeseburger, while others played cards.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
/sigh
I’m sorry.
There are so many better things to do.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:27 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah...
I got to do what I wanted to in the morning, this is what the other guys wanted to do, so I went along.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
what did you do?
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
Met up with a friend of mine from HS outside the stadium,
tailgated and watched the first half of the Cocktail Party on a big TV there, went to The Landings just to see it for a bit.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
The Landing
it’s singular.
Hope you enjoyed it.
I was busy making an ass of myself in and around the stadium.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:39 PM EST up reply actions
shocking.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
I was told, by people who tailgated with me in college,
I was in rare form.
Let’s just say I wasn’t happy about the time we ended up leaving and punished everyone by opening my first bottle of liquor in the car since it was the only thing I could get to and commandeering the radio.
ALL. THE. BACHELOR. PARTY. MIX.
Sorry ladies, you make me late for party? Nope PARTY IS NOW IN CAR.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:45 PM EST up reply actions
It is delightfully scary how so much like my other Jax friend you really are.
Just like a decade apart in birth years
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:47 PM EST up reply actions
I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:49 PM EST up reply actions
probably bad. I think you all would despise each other if you met
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
interesting.
repel like magnets?
So similar that we’d have to hate each other?
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
Something like that.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:57 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, video poker is sometimes winnable in Las Vegas
Video poker isn’t real poker, BTW, it’s basically a slot game with some user input. Without getting into it too far, you have to play a bizarre high-variance long-run strategy on high-dollar machines. Even then, you basically just end up breaking even on money, but in the process you earn tons of comp points (casino loyalty points, these days tracked electronically on a card). You then use those points to get high-value reward items (top shows, hotel nights on busy weekends, helicopter tours). These you, in turn, sell to travel agents who use them as part of packages they put together. Or you take your girlfriend to a comp meal at Robuchon, whatever.
I know someone who did this quite successfully to bide his time when the poker games he liked were not running or were too tough.
isn't all gambling a high-variance, long run strategy?
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:28 PM EST up reply actions
yes, but in this case you have to play a counter-intuitive strategy
Video poker payouts are based on a table and depending on the hand you make are nothing (less than two pair), 2x, 4x, 16x, 100x, 1000x, etc., of the money you put in. Basically, whenever practical these tables mean you go for straight flushes, even sometimes breaking up three of a kind (and thus a decent payout) for the small chance of a big win. Playing on a machine that is $25-$100 per round, you’d need a big bankroll and lots of time to hit the straight flush necessary to even out that variance, much more so than just a similar-stakes poker game.
odds on the odds to better the odds of bettering your odds?
ugh.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
But how Im goon by my art paaawwl if weee juss all suin'?
Imma goon hung up an lissin
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
"...I know what you doing, so once again Skip stop It. Be an analyst, don't be a douche bag" Terrel Suggs, Ball So Hard Univ. calling out Bayless
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
Good to see that those Cougar commenters
Are up to date regarding the heinous crimes perpetrated by Craig James against five hookers while at SMU.
Allegedly.
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 10:40 AM EST reply actions
Wish me luck, folks
Second interview tomorrow morning (on my birthday!)
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Jan 26, 2012 10:45 AM EST reply actions
Happy Birthday to Jerb!
/fingers crossed
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
Give'em the business!
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:52 AM EST up reply actions
Apropos of nothing.
Just awesome.
If the brute force method fails, you didn't use enough brute force.
I see you've played knifey-spoony before...
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 11:25 AM EST up reply actions
hived. dammit, thats twice this morning
Teh Tweeterizer
"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." - Bob Devaney, Nebraska
by alex henery's foot on Jan 26, 2012 11:26 AM EST up reply actions
I'm too lazy to grab the picture
2.5 hour meeting already done.
I’m taking the next 30 minutes to charge my phone and dick around on the internet, then lunch, which I’m sure will be productive…
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 11:28 AM EST up reply actions
all right, all right, you win
I can see you’ve played knifey spoony before…
Teh Tweeterizer
"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." - Bob Devaney, Nebraska
by alex henery's foot on Jan 26, 2012 11:25 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs
and OSU just hired the father of former Michigan LOLback Nick Sheridan as our DBs coach.
to crib from someone else’s joke, hopefully he perpetuates the tendency for Michigan QBs not doing well in The Game when he has some connection with said contest. Or something.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 10:54 AM EST reply actions
apparently Bill really hates Michigan.
He’s worked for Notre Dame, MSU and now you guys.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 10:55 AM EST up reply actions
Nick Sheridan to his father back in high school:
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 11:00 AM EST up reply actions
NFF nuked it. :(
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:00 AM EST up reply actions
Sheridan was a great guy, from a smart football family
Who had no business playing a team not named Delaware State as Michigan’s QB.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
I almost felt bad for Sheridan when he was playing.
“Hey, Should-Have-Been-a-Career-Backup-QB, due to transfers and such, you now get to start.”
“Awesome!”
“But while starting you have to try and run RichRod’s offense.”
“But… I’m not very mobile…”
“Don’t worry, everything will work out. We’re Michigan.”
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:06 AM EST up reply actions
Dad? I'm starting tomorrow.
Might want to avert your eyes.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
Missouri: GRIZZLIES POLAR BEARS BLACK BEARS SUN BEARS PANDA BEARS XXX BEARS SUPERSTORE BEER CIGS EXIT NOW.
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 10:56 AM EST reply actions 10 recs
Not nearly enough XXX for that to be I-70
"Runners hate everyone. Never forget this."
by MacularDegenerate on Jan 26, 2012 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
FIRST BAPTIST OF SEDALIA WE WELCOME BEARS TRUCKERS AND BEAR TRUCKERS
BEER CIGS LOTTO CHEAP EXIT NOW JESUS SAVES
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 11:09 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
But what about truck bearers?
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:13 AM EST up reply actions
INDIANA
JESUS SAYS BUT SATAN PAYS…35% LESS WHEN HE SHOPS AT CRAZY AL’S DISCOUNT FOODSTUFFS. ALL CORNSYRUP BASED PRODUCTS ON SALE TODAY ONLY. SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY MAKE SURE TO HAVE OUR IN HOSE EGG BREAKFAST WITH BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS AFTER PREACHER DAVE BRINGS YOU THE GOOD WORD. GOD BLESS
X
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 11:11 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs
Anyone who can make a bunch of people from New Jersey happy with their football team
should do just fine in South Florida.
by Ardbeg on Jan 26, 2012 11:13 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
/honks horn on Winnebago
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 26, 2012 11:14 AM EST up reply actions
Tampa is surprisingly thick with people of the orange persuasion.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:18 AM EST up reply actions
Sounds like whenever Rutgers plays Syracuse
..or for that matter Princeton in basketball
Twitter: RyanMcD29
Not terribly surprising when you consider the state as a whole's deep love
of skin cancer.
We got some tears...nope, we gotta thumbs up!
Twitter
We natives prefer to get our melanoma the old fashioned way though;
A lifetime of drinking outdoors and never using sunscreen
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
Tampa's longstanding tanning bed community was even celebrated in their team's old logo.
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 11:22 AM EST up reply actions 10 recs
that's one of the worst logos in the history of sports in the United States
i've been fallin' so long it's like gravity's gone and i'm just floatin'...
by JunctionCrimson on Jan 26, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
flagged. Bruce rules.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Bruce the Pirate?
That’s not his real name, is it?
Bruce the Buccaneer, dude.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:34 AM EST up reply actions
or Buccaneer Bruce, one or the other I forget. I was briefly a fan when they drafted Warrick Dunn
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:35 AM EST up reply actions
Bruce?
Didn’t he go the the Australian University of Australia?
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 11:42 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
First question:
Are ye a poofter?
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:53 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I thought he taught in the Philosophy Department of the University of Woolloomooloo
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:06 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Python autorec rule: ENGAGED
"People who say that violence is not the answer are not applying the correct amount of violence." -- blanx73
Read Warrick Dunn.
Momentarily confused him with Warwick Davis. Hilarity ensued.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
The knife in his mouth is symbolic of something else right?
Wait, that’s a pirate?
They took our best names, like Bruce and Lance!
by Nigel_T on Jan 26, 2012 11:34 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Do you speak of the (made up word) of love?
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
Say I'm doin' you wrong, doin you wrong...
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
but don't you worry baby don't worry
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 11:53 AM EST up reply actions
Cuz I rhyme the word love with looooove.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
wiki answers swears its a thing...
not sure whether that speaks to steve miller or wiki answers…
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 12:00 PM EST up reply actions
That hurt my head.
As usual, Cecil gives us the Straight Dope.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
At FSU, we had far more students from New Jersey than Alabama or Georgia.
Mostly because they were getting in-state tuition by putting down their grandma’s address in Tampa or Ft. Lauderdale.
Scary...
although I have an admittedly hard time telling true Jersey natives from the 1st generation transplants who grew up in South Florida.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:30 AM EST up reply actions
snooki?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:24 AM EST up reply actions
There's a difference?
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 11:29 AM EST up reply actions
Oompa Loompas don't carry SuperAIDS
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:31 AM EST up reply actions
Oompa Loompa doopity-doo
We’d like to throw a key party with you?
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:37 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
oompa loompa doompadah dee
We’ll be giving you super VD
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
by blanx73 on Jan 26, 2012 12:12 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Because it's been almost an hour:
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Jan 26, 2012 12:14 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Now that you mention it . . .
. . . they don’t show you HOW the oompa loompas deflate Violet Beauregarde, do they?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
In my book, you have to pay extra for a steam press.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
by blanx73 on Jan 26, 2012 12:20 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
<^>
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:23 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Obligatory
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 11:14 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Just saw fearless leader's tweet
edsbs @edsbs
You know who leads Knights into battle? I think you do. #RonP4Rutgers #APrinceShallLeadYou
EVOKING TIMELESS RIVALRIES PAWWWLLLLL WE BEAT DEM PRINCES BACK IN 1869 IN THE FIRST EVER COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME IN OUR OWN BACKYARD! PISCATAWAY’S WHERE HISTORY IS MADE AND I’M SURE YOU’LL AGREE WITH ME I’M GONNA HANG UP AND LISTEN
Twitter: RyanMcD29
We won the rematch, which is what counts.
1860’S NATIONAL CHAMPIONS PAWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLL
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 11:15 AM EST up reply actions
I disagree
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 11:16 AM EST up reply actions 11 recs
Flagged.
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 11:17 AM EST up reply actions
/Flag gets burned
//Scorch earth’d
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 11:18 AM EST up reply actions
THE FEDERAL UNION: IT MUST BE PRESERVED!
/Andrew Jackson’d
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 11:28 AM EST up reply actions
Hey, you can't spell "secede"...
… without S-E-C.
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 11:43 AM EST up reply actions
Never, ever, ever, ever
let the Aggies beat you to a premise.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Rec'd
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:20 AM EST up reply actions
I wish one of these days you'd call into Finebaum
and just go
WE GOT 28 (correct me if I’m wrong) NATIONAL TITLES I DON’T SEE BAMA PUTTING UP THOSE NUMBERS
/Hum 2nd half of the Princeton Cannon to finish the phone call
//Watch as all of Alabama explodes into rage
Twitter: RyanMcD29
MAKE THIS HAPPEN
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
Welp, Harvard-Yale hockey's now become unbearable to watch
Well, it’s better than him calling a Bruin-Islander game but….
Twitter: RyanMcD29
Welp.
Anybody else so exhausted and frustrated that they could burn down Indianapolis? Anybody want to join me in that endeavor?
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:22 AM EST reply actions
ACS to the courtesy phone etc.
Also how’s the search for the Bat’leth?
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
Stalled. Got in a fight with mom about wedding planning and her perceived lack of involvement due to distance.
New plan: drink heavily and go to sleep at 8:30.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:28 AM EST up reply actions
this situation sound like why you would need a bat'leth in the first place.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:29 AM EST up reply actions
She wants to be more involved, or less involved?
My mother is convinced she’ll get a phone call three weeks before I get married, telling her to which city she needs to buy a plane ticket.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
as it should be.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:32 AM EST up reply actions
your mother is delusional.
three whole weeks? ha.
“Hi Mom, I’m getting married this weekend. You have exactly enough time to buy a plane ticket now and make it here in time for the ceremony.”
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:33 AM EST up reply actions
3 weeks is right before plane ticket prices usually jump
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
I have a friend who called his parents from Hawaii to tell them he'd married his fiance of 6 days.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 11:33 AM EST up reply actions
It's not as bad as it sounds.
They’d been dating for around 4-5 years.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:06 PM EST up reply actions
Had a childhood friend who did this.
“We’re getting married next month in Vegas. We’d love it if you guys could make it out, but we understand if you’re busy.”
We got some tears...nope, we gotta thumbs up!
Twitter
I have several friends who I pray will do exactly this.
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
This is a pretty good plan.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
Wants to be more involved. I'm her only daughter and this is her only chance to wedge herself into her offspring's wedding planning.
Just last night I found a dress that I love for $500, but it is being discontinued, it can’t be ordered and the only one in my size can only be held for 24 hours. She flipped the fuck out and screamed at me about me not including her and trying to push her out of my life completely. She basically accused me of only talking to her when I want money, which is not fucking true.
I don’t know how much more I can take of this shit. If this is what the next six months are going to be like, I think I’d prefer to take a janitorial job in Qatar and foreswear marriage altogether.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:38 AM EST up reply actions
FYI
Marraige should not be about the wedding.
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:40 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Great theory.
Difficult to pull off in practice, though.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
I'm running on about four hours of sleep, and maybe 22 for the week.
“Marriage” is interchangeable with “wedding” and “marriage ceremony” today
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:41 AM EST up reply actions
Mawwage is what bwings us togetha today.
And wuv… twue wuv…
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Jan 26, 2012 11:42 AM EST up reply actions 8 recs
If you didn't say I do then it doesn't count.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 11:46 AM EST up reply actions
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world.
’Twould be a shame to damage yours.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
by Go Big Rev on Jan 26, 2012 11:51 AM EST up reply actions 7 recs
We managed to get that onto our save-the-dates.
We did something right, at least.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:43 AM EST up reply actions
EDSBS marriage designers, assemble?
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:40 AM EST up reply actions
I could totally be a wedding planner.
If not for the fact that I hate flowers and know nothing about them.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
So in our next career move:
Alli and Chloe’s wedding planning, but find your own damned florist?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:04 PM EST up reply actions
problem: SOLVED
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 12:06 PM EST up reply actions
Not if Alli is in charge.
No one would ever receive the flasks.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
by DrBundy on Jan 26, 2012 12:08 PM EST up reply actions 11 recs
OH BURN!
enjoy the rec
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:09 PM EST up reply actions
Ouch!
I had to rec it. It’s sitting on my kitchen counter right now, waiting to be put in a box.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
by allicolls on Jan 26, 2012 1:32 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
/giggle
I’m more amazed at the number of recs this comment has. Apparently more people than I realize know the back story. Of course considering how often I bust your chops about it, it’s small wonder.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
No one will ever loan me anything ever.
Which is probably smart.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
You told it here one time, and it was funny
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
This could be a great plan.
I think all weddings could use an engineer to plan them. Wedding planning is just problem solving, after all.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
and task lists and we're not good at that AT ALL
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:07 PM EST up reply actions
/spends threeve hours on lists
//completes list in 2 hours
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:08 PM EST up reply actions
///delegates boozy as floral designer
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:11 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Hahahahaha
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
ok
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:16 PM EST up reply actions
mein God...what is, i don't even...
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
cotton candy.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions
is it edible?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:17 PM EST up reply actions
PHRASING
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
You dont think eating the flower is an appropriate wedding activity?
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Jan 26, 2012 12:18 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
HEY-OH
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
it's cotton candy people
I can match any color.
and SUGAR
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions
That's why i asked if it was edible. I THOUGHT IT KNEW WHAT IT WAS
It also may have just been spray painted, unwrapped, cotton balls though too.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:27 PM EST up reply actions
I'll take a dozen in royal purple, and a dozen in white.
Delivery by next Saturday, if you please.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
optimize everything.
Those who stay will be champions.
by willbechampions on Jan 26, 2012 12:09 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
If it's economically feasible . . .
. . . you need to see if mom is willing to host a breakfast or brunch for the out-of-town family on the day after wedding. That can be her event on which to focus time and attention, could take a bit of stress off of the decisions for the wedding, and you’ll probably be gone for the honeymoon when it takes place.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
A good idea.
But she really does want to be all-up-ons every aspect of the planning.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:47 AM EST up reply actions
Well, it's time for a heart-to-heart about that
It’s great that she wants to be involved, but presumably she had a wedding at some point in her life.
As for the dress, just buy the damn thing. At $500, even if you and mom (after you send some photos) decide it’s not workable, you can probably recoup most of the cost on consignment or through Ebay.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I'm apparently good at swearing at mothers, if that's the route you want to take...
other than that, I don’t think I’ll be of much help
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
I would love to be able to do this
but I’m the oldest, and I’m pretty sure it would make my mom cry. Angry I could handle, but not sad.
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
That's basically what's happening here.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:49 AM EST up reply actions
When my mom met my former main squeeze...
…she went out and bought a minicab the next week. “For her grandkids” she said. those are nonexistent grandkids btw.
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Jan 26, 2012 11:52 AM EST via Android app up reply actions
I'm 22, oldest of four, and single
and my mom is already saving stuff for her grandkids. I tell her I’m never having kids about once a month just to mess with her.
iknowthatfeelbroshark.jpg
To the tweetmobile!
The beauty way out of my league . . .
. . . who is now Mrs. DG made her first visit to my family over Christmas many years ago. Devil Mom had made me a hand-stiched quilt that year, but after meeting the new girl, Mom told me that she wasn’t giving me the quilt for Christmas “because it would make a better wedding gift.” And so it did; it’s still on our bed today.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Jan 26, 2012 1:49 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 1:51 PM EST up reply actions
Aw.
That warms the cockles of my chest cavity, it does.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
The gaping black maw?
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
My father in law offered to give us $10,000 in cash if we eloped in Vegas.
Sadly, I left the decision to my then-fiancee (now Mrs. Vineyarddawg).
But what do I know… I’m a man and like money.
Editor, Dawg Sports.
Go Dawgs!
by vineyarddawg on Jan 26, 2012 11:45 AM EST up reply actions
How do you write women so well?
Easy.
I take away reason and accountability.
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:46 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I had a very similar offer.
I delayed, and now i call her the evil ex.
Money well saved on a divorce lawyer later on.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:49 AM EST up reply actions
Quote from my mom:
“I won’t know you are getting married until your best friend calls me to double-check on the time of the wedding. That’s your goal, isn’t it?”
by ElRocco337 on Jan 26, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
The future Mrs. InNYC and I have a deal:
I have input on music and food, and she just promises not to do anything ridiculous with the rest of it.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
I wish I had a deal like this
I’m probably going to suffer through something aren’t i? since only child and last unmarried family member and all that.
/questions life goals
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:28 PM EST up reply actions
Only if you tell them you're getting married while they have any time to try to input things.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
I figure it will be one of two ways
It will be an EDSBS wedding, because all my IRL friends aren’t cool anymore. So my family will either be ECSTATIC that I’m getting married and just go with it. Or be so ashamed and not show up all.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:32 PM EST up reply actions
...
If not Even if, we’re tailgating
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
You're looking LIVE at Chloe's wedding!
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Jan 26, 2012 12:35 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Musberger-Herbstreit
You have the old drunk uncle/ frat boy mix
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
if there are kegs, would musberger even be able to speak?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:59 PM EST up reply actions
he would...but it would end up sounding like the Peanuts Adults sound
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
HONEY BADGER
/repeat ad nauseum
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 1:02 PM EST up reply actions
We should get Keith Jackson out of retirement for that one
Particularly if there’s any pre-wedding tension. “Well, Chloe and [betrothed] get along well enough, but what we’ve got here today folks is two families just plain don’t like each other. Whoa, Nellie!”
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Jan 26, 2012 1:01 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Here comes the ring bearer and it's a FUMBLLLLLLLE!
Free at last!
by lhb98 on Jan 26, 2012 1:02 PM EST up reply actions 8 recs
continuous rec's all around
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
And now for a word from the production truck
“Keith, you CANNOT use the phrase ‘big uglies’ today. I know you think it’s endearing, but the bridesmaids may not be amused.”
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Jan 26, 2012 1:04 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
LRC, Alli, alpelican, and anthropologal might kill you
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 1:09 PM EST up reply actions
this is a total EDSBS wedding if the bridesmaids are them...
Now if we could only convince your groom to get EDSBS guys…
/everyone fights to be the groomsmen
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
Except GoBigRev
I assume he’s the officiant.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Chloe's getting married?
Did I miss something?
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
by Cap Town Cat on Jan 26, 2012 1:12 PM EST up reply actions
news to me.
the father to be will also be surprised as i don’t know who that is either.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 1:17 PM EST up reply actions
Nah.
I’ll be the pianist. Someone’s gotta play Boomer Sooner while she walks down the aisle.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
And when he does.
And when the bridesmaids do.
And when the mother of the bride does.
And when they kiss.
And when the officiant steps down.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
by TexaninNYC on Jan 26, 2012 1:15 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
and when every attendent leaves the building
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
Not if I'm officiating they won't.
“Boomer Sooner, Boomer Soo-GUNSHOT
/thump
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
also no nebraska fight song
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, that's fine. It's not my wedding.
You get Boomer Sooner for your walk. Everyone else can just piss off.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
How tall are you?
Nobody likes a tiny pianist.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 1:23 PM EST up reply actions
Do you know "Your Monkey Pissed in My Beer?"
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Yall gotta watch LRC.
She’s scrappy, that one.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
Isn't that one of the better episodes of "Arthur"?
Where the ringbearer drops the thing and only DW is small enough to crawl into the space where it gets stuck?
Well, that and the one where she announces to her school that the famous violinist “Yo Ma Ma” is coming.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Nah. I want Verne.
“Do you, Callie Denton, take this man…”
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
he's coaching up a dust storm
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
by greekpadre on Jan 26, 2012 1:08 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I was thinkin Verne too
Maybe he can call the bouquet toss!
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 1:11 PM EST up reply actions
Good plan.
csb time: Buddy of mine and his wife were told by their Hindu families that they could either have alcohol or meat at the reception/wedding events. My buddy chose alcohol because, “my friends are alcoholics and will bring their own and cause a scene otherwise.” He chose wisely.
by ElRocco337 on Jan 26, 2012 12:36 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
This couldn't have been in the South
because they would have brought their own meat, too.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
I was right
It wasn’t the South.
It war TEXAS!
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:43 PM EST up reply actions
CAN I BE EDSBS FWIEND?
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
I think we would write a great set of vows.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
"... till conference realignment do us part."
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Jan 26, 2012 12:34 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
shit no, that could be like 1 month to 2 years tops!
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
Well it won't be an OU wedding.
So there would have to be some sort of rivalry thing.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:42 PM EST up reply actions
I'll cater.
Boiled seafood is perfectly acceptable wedding food, right?
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
"DrBundy, who's this Zoidberg you've got on the invite list?"
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
Of course.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:41 PM EST up reply actions
Boiled seafood is acceptable anything anytime food.
by Mango Stasi on Jan 26, 2012 12:43 PM EST up reply actions
Boiling water should never touch seafood
You steam it, not boil it.
Heathens.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:44 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Sure, if I want it to go straight to my thighs
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 12:45 PM EST up reply actions
I think we're all fried foods in this scenario
AMIRITE, GUYS?
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:47 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
ugh, as it.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:48 PM EST up reply actions
FUCKING TYPING
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:48 PM EST up reply actions
not at the moment
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
I have had steamed crabs
and I am partial to boiled crabs. Call me whatever you want, it’s how I was raised and it’s how I prefer them. Boiled crawfish are a proof that the great pickle in the sky that designed us all (intelligently!) wanted us to eat well. Shrimp can be prepared so many different ways, why limit yourself to just steaming???
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
I like burled skrimps, myself.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
this.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
How could you even tell the difference?
It’s just that boiling is going to ruin the texture of the meat and cook off the flavor. A good steaming does neither of these things.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:56 PM EST up reply actions
If only some character in pop culture
Would conveniently list all the ways shrimp could be cooked for us.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
by TexaninNYC on Jan 26, 2012 12:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
WHY IS EVERYONE AGREEING WITH BOILING SEAFOOD
ARE YOU PEASANTS?
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 12:45 PM EST up reply actions
Boil seafood? HEATHENS!!!!
But then again, crawdads aren’t seafood, so I’ll allow a Cajun boil.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:49 PM EST up reply actions
You're the second couch-burner to accuse seafood-boilers heathens.
My head is so full of fuck.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
MtnEer lives in SC
I live in MD. I think those two states know something about properly preparing seafood/bayfood.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:54 PM EST up reply actions
tl;dr
At the ‘MD’ my mind became clouded with visions of crab cakes.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Crab cakes are awesome
But crabs on the butcher paper is really what MD’s all about.
Sadly, I have never gotten the hang of properly taking a crab apart. I can do it, but the technique is slow and the results not very pretty.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 12:58 PM EST up reply actions
Just eat the soft-shelled ones.
No disassembly required.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
You mean like this?
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 1:00 PM EST up reply actions
I'll pay for express shipping if you'll just send that my way.
/seasons slice of pizza with tears of sadness/jealousy
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Did you ever shell a bushel of pecans as a kid?
I found that experience useful in learning to take apart crabs.
Have lived on the Souf Kahline coast longer than in WBGV...
I usta boil schwimp when I fust moved hyah, buts now I steams ’ems. They stay juicier.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:54 PM EST up reply actions
I...
I do not like seafood at all. COME AT ME, BROS.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
/assembles Greek Navy
//sits around arguing
///fuck
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
////goes on strike
I am in favor of no sport which puts a stick in the hands of an Irishman - K.K.R.
by saxattack29 on Jan 26, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I have problem with that....
Nne at all. MORE FOR ME!
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:57 PM EST up reply actions
Mane that was full of fail...Don't eat and type at the same time
I have NO problem with that…
None at all. MORE FOR ME
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 1:00 PM EST up reply actions
Another of your comments requests attention down below.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Auburn fans.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
Crawfish may not be considered "seafood"
but considering the critter spends most of its life in freshwater breathing through gills, I’m gonna go ahead and call it seafood. Not to mention that they are commercially classified as seafood. Traditionally, turtle meat is considered seafood as well as alligator. “Seafood” means a lot more than “something caught in the sea”.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
Alligator is classified as Yard dog.
Yard dog makes a mighty fine sausage.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
My point was, in my book if I don't call them seafood, they can boiled.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:59 PM EST up reply actions
Chloe I will wear what you tell me and sit stand where told
I haven’t ever been thrown out of a reception either!!!
Soon I won't have CFB.......BOO. And yes, I am a female.
by Boatdrinks on Jan 26, 2012 4:17 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
That's a damn good deal.
/Files it away for future use
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
HEAR HEAR!
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 11:31 AM EST up reply actions
Don't have it during football season
Or people will hate you.
Or just not attend if the wedding is scheduled on the Third Saturday in October.
So be considerate, and not one of THOSE people.
by Durdens Wrath on Jan 26, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions
A friend of my girlfriend went to a wedding on a cruise ship.
I’ve never met the people who got married on the cruise ship, but I think it’s a safe assumption that those people a insufferable, self-centered pricks. Destination weddings are bad enough, but when the destination is a fucking cruise ship, you’re making people spend a boatload of money to wallow in ennui, all for your fucking pleasure.
With that in mind, it is one of the greatest ironies that the previously mention cruise ship wedding was, unbeknownst to the wedding party, a Rick Springfield cruise. Which meant the following:
1. The reception was relegated to the shitty ballroom, because Rick Springfield was playing a concert in the nice one.
2. The wedding party had the best table in the dining room. The table next to it was Rick Springfield’s. Ergo, there were hundreds of women milling around the wedding party’s table every meal.
3. Other things I don’t have time to write right now, but you get the idea.
Moral of the story: Don’t be a dick to your friends, because no one will feel bad for you if Rick Springfield ruins your wedding.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
my niece had invite for a cruise wedding for
The following April. 1 and 1/2 years later she got married in October at a small event at a lovely banquet place w/ autumn as theme. What happened to cruise? NOBODY WANTED TO PAY THE COIN and be stuck with those people for a week.
Soon I won't have CFB.......BOO. And yes, I am a female.
by Boatdrinks on Jan 26, 2012 5:08 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
sure, but why?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
wait, is there a reason she could report where you would go "oh, in that case... no. just no."?
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:24 AM EST up reply actions
no. More like if its reasoning as defined about parental involvement in planning her own shit then I'm much more likely to be more passionate
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 11:31 AM EST up reply actions
ah.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:35 AM EST up reply actions
Ha that looks like a penis
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
I'll have to pass on that.
My niece lives in Indy.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Why would you improve on India-no-place like that?
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
You clever boots, you.
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 11:29 AM EST up reply actions
My Aunt lives there(went to Marion, and stayed)
So I have lots of practice with the bad jokes
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
Gladly.
What convenient timing, since the Indiana State Leg—
/shot by indiana state fire prevention police
//kicked by indiana state internet police
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 12:18 PM EST up reply actions
HELL YES!
Any idea how long I’ve been waiting to be asked that question?
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
by Cap Town Cat on Jan 26, 2012 1:14 PM EST up reply actions
I will do it on principle
but only if we remove Gary from the face of the earth
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Jan 26, 2012 1:21 PM EST up reply actions
Gary is still considered part of 'earth.' I figured by now we'd have just removed it from maps refuse to acknowledge its existence.
@LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on the twitterz.
by LUNCHBOXTHEGOAT on Jan 26, 2012 1:29 PM EST up reply actions
1. move perdue to gary
2. remove gary from map/existence
3.??
4. PROFIT
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Jan 26, 2012 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
A challenger appears!
Gary, Indiana!
What a wonderful name,
Named for Elbert Gary of judiciary fame.
Gary, Indiana, as a Shakespeare would say,
Trips along softly on the tongue this way—
Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
Let me say it once again.
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
That’s the town that “knew me when.”
If you’d like to have a logical explanation
How I happened on this elegant syncopation,
I will say without a moment of hesitation
There is just one place
That can light my face.
Gary, Indiana,
Gary Indiana,
Not Louisiana, Paris, France, New York, or Rome, but—
Gary, Indiana,
Gary, Indiana,
Gary Indiana,
My home sweet home.
"Four seconds on a stopped clock... can you believe this?"
-- WVU announcing legend Jack Fleming, as WVU set up for the winning field goal in the 1975 Backyard Brawl
by An 'eer with a beer on Jan 26, 2012 1:35 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
true
But I drive through there all the time, and my car/clothes/soul always smells like ham for days after
Fuck Clemson and God Bless
He marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."
And he's right. Goddammit, he's right.
by dudebrabroman on Jan 26, 2012 1:37 PM EST up reply actions
Am I the only one 80's enough...
…to know and love “Dad, I’m In Jail” by Was (Not Was)?
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/100-best-albums-of-the-eighties-20110418/was-not-was-what-up-dog-19691231
18 and Life you got it.
18 and life, you know?
You’re crime is time, and its 18 and Life to go.
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:30 AM EST up reply actions
No, no, no.
Don and David Was, not Sebastian Bach.
Folsom Prison and Mama Tried are 1 and 1A in this category.
by Nick's Hat Band on Jan 26, 2012 11:34 AM EST up reply actions
Mama Tried is one of my all-time favorite songs.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I'm the only Hell my momma ever raised.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 11:56 AM EST up reply actions
I'm going straight to hell.
Just like my momma said.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
by allicolls on Jan 26, 2012 11:58 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I was always told that....
I ws the kind of kid my momma didn’t want me running around with.
/knows it’s not a song
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:07 PM EST up reply actions
OKAY THEN. Jimmy Buffett :
“We are the people, they couldn’t figure out. We are the people, our parents warned us about. "
Soon I won't have CFB.......BOO. And yes, I am a female.
Christmas in Prison by John Prine wants a vote.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
by blanx73 on Jan 26, 2012 12:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
/gives John Prine a vote for damn near anything...
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:14 PM EST up reply actions
Christmas in jail, Christmas in jail
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
ok
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 11:57 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
God that little kid was the best
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 11:59 AM EST up reply actions
The best?
Losers always whine about doing their best!
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:59 AM EST up reply actions
Winners go home and fuck the prom queen
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 12:00 PM EST up reply actions
hard to compete against a "FREE COCAINE" campaign platform.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 12:01 PM EST up reply actions
I always imagined this is what I would look like at that age if I were Asian
I was never not acting the fool and dancing like crazy
by ItsComplicated on Jan 26, 2012 11:59 AM EST up reply actions
A challenger appears
Sorry, this is the “best” clip I could find.
http://www.thesouptv.com/clips
Mark Richt's barfight dream
/takes a knee to set up the kick
//misses kick
///realizes he is in bar and runs away
http://collegefanatics.com/boards/
Some days, it seems like there isn't enough coffee.
Some nights, it seems like there isn't enough vodka.
Fearless Leader
just tweeted this video.
Wow.
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 11:37 AM EST reply actions
My mind....
IS FULL OF FUCK
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 11:39 AM EST up reply actions
That final image
is straight from Kevin Steele’s nightmares.
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
when did HE become the WVU coach?
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:39 AM EST up reply actions
...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 26, 2012 11:42 AM EST up reply actions
That was techno at it's least finest.
FSU back-2-back state champs!! 52-14
by CashvilleNole on Jan 26, 2012 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
Clemson QB Twitter Fight
via ParadigmShift35
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 11:44 AM EST reply actions
Chad Kelly
is Matt McGloin with talent.
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
Depends. Do you care if your QB is cartoonishly cocky?
"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"
Haha, he's not at Clemson yet, but already fucking it!
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
"...I know what you doing, so once again Skip stop It. Be an analyst, don't be a douche bag" Terrel Suggs, Ball So Hard Univ. calling out Bayless
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
by 8gooner8 on Jan 26, 2012 11:47 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
*and not but
Freud was right
"I'm media friendly. Not as media friendly as Lane Kiffin... Lane's probably better with the media, but I'm $10.000 better with the officials." Chip Kelly
"...I know what you doing, so once again Skip stop It. Be an analyst, don't be a douche bag" Terrel Suggs, Ball So Hard Univ. calling out Bayless
לכאלה הולכים שבאה
English motherfuckers
DO THEY SPEAK IT?
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:50 AM EST up reply actions
SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:51 AM EST up reply actions
What ain't no country I ever heard of.
My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11
by car.full.of.midgets on Jan 26, 2012 11:53 AM EST up reply actions
they have popcorn in 'what'?
no?
pop it is.
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:54 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Its a fight over who gets to be Jarrett Lee at Clemson.
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:52 AM EST up reply actions
Rec
Arberg is throwing rocks tonight.
We are dead in the water.
by Lucas Jackson on Jan 26, 2012 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
And greened by a real MtnEer....
’cuase truth is just truth
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:09 PM EST up reply actions
Y'all have reduced me to tears at least three times this morning.
Hallelujah, it’s raining witticisms.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
indeed
This is all just babytown frolics.
by Philander Chase's Sweatervest on Jan 26, 2012 11:56 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Coach Saban?
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 12:04 PM EST up reply actions
Why, Yes
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:25 PM EST up reply actions
We made the Reverend cry?
We are so screwed
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
by Cap Town Cat on Jan 26, 2012 12:58 PM EST up reply actions
/sighs
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
by Go Big Rev on Jan 26, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
I demand proof.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
by DrBundy on Jan 26, 2012 12:09 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I'm awake, and my students didn't destroy anything in Ochem lab last night
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
and the rest of office hours?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:12 PM EST up reply actions
OH GOD, SO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS! AND CRAZY REDHEAD GIRL DIDN'T HAVE ANY OF THEM
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
questions like...?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:17 PM EST up reply actions
So what are we supposed to have for prelab? Because obviously we ignore everything you say and email...
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
literacy is hrda
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:20 PM EST up reply actions 15 recs
i was on complete rant mode, if that doesnt scare them from coming next time, then they'll never go away
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
I'm gonna rec for hilarious typo timing.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
I rec'd it, because I think she intended it
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
/that's the joke.jpeg
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:25 PM EST up reply actions
So what did CRG want to talk about?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Not much, she asked the occasional lecture question. And then sat patiently while i went on a rant, then laughed at the end...
CRG indeed…
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
IZ CUTE?
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
ehh...
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
iz very tall and skinny
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
what's very tall?
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:29 PM EST up reply actions
5'9-5'10
/sighs
//i hate being short…
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
I have yet to hear anything that is against my type...
Tall, redhead, obviously a bit crazy…
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
you're gonna be in trouble.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:32 PM EST up reply actions
Ssshhhhhhh
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
then you go after her...
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
/is taken, happily
//is also a long way from where you are.
My loyal heart avows no other.
"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax
Nothing wrong with a little crazy.
If you worry about being stabbed in your sleep, then it’s a problem. Otherwise it’s fun.
And she's a red-head....
Crazy just comes with the package.
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
Iz very tall, skinny, crazy redhead?
Sounds like a short-term fun, long-term horribawful choice.
Free at last!
Sometimes you've got to go through hell to get to heaven.
Bingo Jed was a wino.
"I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is"
Or from my friends perspective
You have to slay the dragons to get to the princess.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 12:42 PM EST up reply actions
That is a good day.....
/remembers chem lab explosions, whiffs, and stinky results fondly
2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 26, 2012 12:13 PM EST up reply actions
I nearly killed half of my class when construction crews shut off water during an experiment
Which meant the condenser didn’t work. Which meant “HELLO POTENTIALLY FATAL GAS HOW ARE YOU TODAY?”
"Runners hate everyone. Never forget this."
by MacularDegenerate on Jan 26, 2012 12:18 PM EST up reply actions
Potentially fatal gas?
That happened whenever I hit the “pizza roll”/“calzone”/“egg roll” cart on 21st.
Free at last!
I've been banned from eating Burger King Onion Rings
by international treaty.
I told them before the game if those bastards have to run the fumblerooski, come to the sidelines and party because they have given up their right of manhood.
How do you know what kind of goddamn day it is?
http://collegefanatics.com/boards/
Some days, it seems like there isn't enough coffee.
Some nights, it seems like there isn't enough vodka.
Off-Topic (Well, Liam Neeson related, so.. On-Topic?)
Roger Ebert has kinda been all over the place on his reviews in the last few years, but hot damn does he have me excited for The Grey all of a sudden.
It so happened that there were two movies scheduled that day in the Lake Street Screening Room (where we local critics see many new releases). After “The Grey” was over, I watched the second film for 30 minutes and then got up and walked out of the theater. It was the first time I’ve ever walked out of a film because of the previous film. The way I was feeling in my gut, it just wouldn’t have been fair to the next film.
We got some tears...nope, we gotta thumbs up!
Twitter
There's only one picture that this review inspires in response:
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
sigh daniel moore lawsuit, the bs that wont die
On the road right now so can only say
“Have 2 bcs titles. Don’t care.”
Suck it. Haterz.
People who live in glass houses should not hang out with Charles Barkley.
Stache pic upgraded to Championship mode
by Wallacewade04 on Jan 26, 2012 12:18 PM EST via mobile reply actions
New Mexico
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:19 PM EST reply actions 5 recs
/OprahBees.gif
A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.
by LoneStarHoosier on Jan 26, 2012 12:25 PM EST up reply actions
That one gets me every time.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
No way to further explain without spiders,
But there is certain music you don’t set Alabama highlights to. Period.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
Country?
Because I’ve seen Hip-Hop and it works well.
by Durdens Wrath on Jan 26, 2012 4:10 PM EST up reply actions
/holds elevator for undergrad
//undergrad takes elevator to second floor
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 12:37 PM EST reply actions 8 recs
I do this all the time
Because I am the biggest asshole in the world.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 12:37 PM EST up reply actions
Well played, Clarkson.
You sodding git.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
by Go Big Rev on Jan 26, 2012 12:41 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Best thing they did as the Potter series continued
was stop Americanizing the insults.
"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Prince Phillip
I don't think I've ever been less surprised.
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 1:00 PM EST up reply actions
People used do to that all the time in Auburn.
I’d see a pile of undergrad girls lined up for the elevator in Haley Center. The classes are only on the first three fucking floors. The elevators are for the faculty who have offices on the 4th floor and above. MAYBE the 3rd floor.
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 12:39 PM EST up reply actions
Wouldn't want to spill that Starbucks Bucket O'Beetus.
Then you wouldn’t be able to make it through that brutal 50-minute Econ 101 class.
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 1:19 PM EST up reply actions
That's not laziness.
They just can’t find the stairs.
Auburn... who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.
I have done this in law school
but in my defense, I have a bag that weighs $Texas and a bad knee.
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
Health reasons
are justifiable reasons
Trying to kill as many Kerbals as Craig James has (allegedly) hookers.
by AUTigerGSUEagle on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
I also sprained an ankle/broke a foot(?) going down the stairs in a hurry one day.
If I had insurance, I’d have gone to the hospital. As it was, I just hobbled home at the end of the day and put it up over the weekend.
Twitter for even more of my crap.
by Big Blue Barrister on Jan 26, 2012 12:42 PM EST up reply actions
Hit ALL. THE. BUTTONS.
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
Well there's your mistake
Holding to door for someone.
/gives apathetic shrug and half hearted attempt to hit the “door open” button, shake head sadly as doors close, go directly to desired floor
by emc503 on Jan 26, 2012 12:45 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
That is how its done
If its someone that you know and dont care for…dont mind hitting the door close button if not shoving him back altogether
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:46 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think our elevators even have DOOR CLOSE buttons on them.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
don't forget to MDWM
Posting a comment on this website has always been a dream of mine.
by Big Jon on Jan 26, 2012 1:36 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
This is what I get for trying to be nice.
The next undergrad who gets in my way gets shoved down the stairs.
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 1:39 PM EST up reply actions
FTFY
The next undergrad who gets in my way gets shoved down the stairs.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
WAS THINKING OF THIS SKETCH LAST WEEK AFTER A MEETING
Mister Huff, how do you feel about your experience on Hidden Camera?
AAAAANNNGRYYYYYYY.
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 12:48 PM EST up reply actions
Live from Shreveport, Louisiana!
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jan 26, 2012 1:54 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Exactly right!
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 2:06 PM EST up reply actions
COFFE CRYSTALS?
WHY YOO SONAFABITCH
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
I know can spel well
by CoastalCowbell on Jan 26, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
I watched Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy last night
It did not disappoint.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
In a movie packed with killer performances
My favorite was Mark Strong, who played Prideaux.
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
I took absolute joy in just picking out every person who had appeared on New Who at some point
First time I saw Toby Jones I giggled.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 1:02 PM EST up reply actions
It's apparently the next film at our local independent theater.
I’m glad to hear the good reviews.
Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy
I want to see it because:
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
by mnHorn on Jan 26, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Let us discuss the thematic significance
Of not only Smiley’s glasses in TTSS, but also of windows in general!
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions
Haven't seen or read it yet, so I want to remain as in the dark as possible.
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
Movie's really good considering the complexity of the book
Top-notch performances. Book is outstanding. Haven’t seen the Alec Guinness miniseries.
Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way, with technology.
by Burrito Electrico on Jan 26, 2012 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
From the same place:
"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."
by mnHorn on Jan 26, 2012 2:22 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
Why would Greg Schiano want to give up his stranglehold on the universe to go to Tampa?
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
Why not?
All his fans end up there eventually.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
No...Rutgers fans end up in Jacksonville
And Marlins home games
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:52 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
ISWYDT
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell
BUT THE MARLINS HAVE A NEW BALLPARK AND NEW PLAYERS! THAT HAS TO ATTRACT CROWDS, RIGHT?
"Natty Light: For when you absolutely, positively have to knock uglies with a corn-fed co-ed from the opposing school who’s half your age." -- jonfmorse
If that doesnt work...brink in the Strippers
They already have the mermaids which are like one notch below stripperhood
The best team in the state of Florida since 2010.
by The Assman 1 on Jan 26, 2012 12:56 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Happy 77th Birthday
"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"
by LesMilesEatsGrass on Jan 26, 2012 12:50 PM EST reply actions
mwhahahahahahhah.
Actually, yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
If you can't find me on the twitterz, I don't know what to tell you.
by Chloe Denmark on Jan 26, 2012 12:52 PM EST up reply actions
That's all man baby.
Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain
by Nick Petrilli on Jan 26, 2012 12:53 PM EST up reply actions
Kentucky: "That bear better not say shit about Calipari, or I'll slit his damn throat."
I ain’t even mad…cus it’s accurate.
I would go into a blood rage and kill the bear if it talked shit bout Calipari. Then wake up not knowing where I was
"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot
"There's certainly something darkly amusing here that a book about ethics comes out with a new, expensive edition every year."
Now we cater to money men, white wine drinkers and other assorted wimps.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 26, 2012 1:41 PM EST reply actions
People who tell you ethical conduct is a "fluid situation" . . .
. . . are usually pissing on their clients.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
reply fail. furk.
College sports are to college what genital warts are to genitals. -- Fake Dan Beebe
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
that usually costs double.
...I can count my years in scars...
by Boozy McHound on Jan 26, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions
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